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I'm not sure whether to post this in the depression forum or the self-injury forum, but I'm putting it here since I'm depressed now and the cutting hasn't happened yet.

I'm on the verge of another meltdown. It's only happened really bad once, and it lasted several months, and I feel like I'm on the verge of that again. I've been having panic attacks recently, for the first time in many months. For the first time since my major episode, I cannot muster the will to do ANYTHING. I am struggling to type this meagre message. I feel like shit. I need to talk, but I can't talk to anyone. I only have three friends. One of them is working, the other two areo ut with other people. I feel like I'm on the verge of falling apart. Last time this happened, it wasn't long before I became a bloody mess, and I want to make myself a bloody mess again.

If you have a psychiatrist or even a regular doctor, the best thing you can do is make an appointment for Monday morning. Even going as a walk-in and wasting the day in a waiting room would be better than waiting until a scheduled appt. - because YOU need help NOW. What

the doctor's staff needs really doesn't count.

If things continue to get worse, do not hesitate to find a hospital ER and check yourself in. From what you've described that cannot be

any worse than another full-out breakdown featuring "that's a lot of blood" moments. Even if you aren't admitted in-patient, it is possible

that a doctor there may be able to prescribe a short course of a stronger anti-depressant script or even a "major tranquilizer" (yeah,

anti-psychotics, old-school, etc. but that's often the emergency protocol - and it works more often than not) to tide you over until

you can get in to see your regular doctor(s) and therapist.

If you can't bring yourself to discuss what's wrong when you get to the doctor/therapist/ER/whatever, or if you think you might not

be able to, print out a copy of your post to bring with you.

I don't start therapy again until the twenty-ninth. I don't know what to do. my friends will be so disappointed in me if I cut again. It's been over 280 days since I cut, and it's all I even want to do right now. I just don;t know what to do. I don't even know why I'm posting this. i don't see how it will help. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for wasting this board's space and for wasting the time of those who read it. I'm sorry.

It's OK to feel sorry because your depression makes you feel like you're wasting the readers' time. But, you're not wasting the time

of anyone who doesn't have the time to "waste".

Maybe that constitutes a "break with reality" - so the docs HAVE to see you, don't they?

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