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Ok so I have gained about 60 lbs on risperdal which im not on anymore. Now I take invega and havent gained much weight on it at all.

So my problem is this. (and this may be long, my apologies)

I stay with my boyfriend at nights. Well this morning I didnt want to get up so I laid in bed. The company that he works for is doing remodeling, which involves doing some work to his apartment.

So they decide to come in today and work on the closet. My boyfriend, that sweetie that he is, closes the door to the bedroom. So everything is groovy.

Then me, in my stupidity, decide im going to take my meds while the two guys are still here. I hear them talking about some kind of wire that they need.

And now the whole point of the story and why I feel like shit is this.

I was standing in the bathroom getting my meds and I happen to look up when the guy is leaving. And what does he say.


And not like damn, shes hot. It was more like damn, I didnt need to see that. There is a difference people.

Now, I used be hot. Skinny, beautiful. Im not trying to toot my own horn. But I used to get hit on all the time. While this generally made me uncomfortable, at least I knew I was something to look at.

And now, im just a blob. I dont wear any make up anymore. I dont take care of myself anymore.

I guess it shouldnt really matter. Im mean I am loved by a great guy who thinks that I am pretty. Thats what matters, right?

But it still hurts. And the worst thing is that if I just got up off my ass and had a little bit more motivation I could probably have my body back and feel better.

I am, I am, Iam joining a gym next month. I will, I will, I will.

I guess theres no question to this post. Just a self indulgence pity party.


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Are you absolutely sure he was talking about you? Maybe he was just muttering an expletive that had nothing to do with you. There are a lot of reasons for people to say "damn". It is also possible that DID mean "Damn, she's fine!". Just consider that there are a lot of ways to look at it, and if you're not liking yourself, you will likely come up with an interpretation to fit your mood...

You know you are attractive to your boyfriend. Up until recently, you considered yourself attractive. So, you probably are still pretty on the outside, even though you don't feel pretty on the inside. Your mood can totally color the way you see yourself.

In the meantime, maybe it would make you feel better to put on some makeup and some nice clothes to give you a little ego boost. It works for me. xo

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