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First, I have this job (see previous post about being tired) that's driving me to distraction. There's so much added drama there involving the personal lives of the other employees that I won't go into, but it's not making staying there any easier.

Then, I suddenly developed a boyfriend. I don't know how that happened, but now there's a guy in my life that has declared his undying love for me and swears he will follow me to the ends of the Earth - etc. We've been conversing online and on the phone for eons (read: five years), and we finally met this past week. Now, we're attached at the hip. It's not a bad thing, but *wow*.

Then, my twin sister calls me last night to tell me she is pregnant... PREGNANT!!! We're 41 years old! She can't be pregnant. She's been fixed. This isn't supposed to happen. AND they're taking her off of her crazymeds, AND she has physical problems. She can't work. She needs moral support. She's 3,000 miles away in WA. I suddenly want to sell everything I can and move to WA to help my sister out. Of course, I've been wanting to move anyway, so that's just kind of a convenient excuse, but the urge is still there.

And, I still have my 19 year old daughter here who does not have a job and won't come with me if I move. I'd hate to leave her stranded. She has some options I suppose, but she's being so lazy about finding work that she's driving me up a wall. It's been five months since she lost her job, and she's barely looking. Maybe my leaving would really get her off the computer and out into the real world. I don't know. She might sink and not swim. I just don't know if I can take that risk. arrrrgggghhhh!

I'm being pulled in twenty different directions and it's literally tearing me apart. I still haven't been able to get an appointment with my pdoc - I called them this morning. The nearest appointment is next Thursday. Jeez.

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I'd just like to point out that while family loyalty is a lovely thing, each adult is responsible for their own lives, and just because your sister needs support, it doesn't automatically follow that you have to undertake a stressful life changing move and take care of it all. Beware of making decisions like that when you're overtired, emotional and ill.

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Hi,

I agree with karuna in not making fast decisions.

however - i can completely understand why you would want to help your sister. first you are twins and thats a whole big thing a lot of people dont understand. secondly, at 41 the pregnancy might be a bit rough...especially if sis has mental & physical issues (which from what you wrote - sounds like she does).

does your sister have any other help from family or friends? and do you think her partner will help - A LOT????

as for your daughter - she is a legal adult, even if she does not want to be one. and i dont know the extent of your relationship. as has been said to me before - she can either stay or go with you. its really her decision. and when she starts thinking "who is gonna put a roof over my head," i bet her decisions will be very easy to make.

there are a lot of considerations. and i think its great that you are seeking input. i'd love to know what your tdoc says, if you want to share after your appt.

good luck!!! and much restorative sleep,

december

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Guest Guest_patheral_*

does your sister have any other help from family or friends? and do you think her partner will help - A LOT????

She has friends out there that say they will help her out... as for a partner, she has none. The father is a random person she picked up at a bar for a one night stand. I forgot to mention she has two other children in the house, one about 11 and one about 14. They, of course, are ecstatic about the whole thing.

there are a lot of considerations. and i think its great that you are seeking input. i'd love to know what your tdoc says, if you want to share after your appt.

Too many considerations! :-) But, that's okay. I'll figure it out one way or another. I'm not seeing a tdoc at the moment, just a pdoc - if I can ever get an appointment! grrr

Thank you both for your input... it helps. It really does.

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I do not mean to be condescending, or scarcastic, or nasty in any way--but reading your post has made me feel about 200% better about my life. I mean, things could be so much worse.

I think you have to do what you need to do for your own health and wellbeing--your daughter is a grown up,and, for that matter, so is your sister. But if she is off her meds, besides being 41, she has major problems ahead, and you might--repeat, MIGHT--be a good person to help. But I have learned that one crazy person is not much help to another crazy person "in person", especially if you are that close. Its like I used to tell my son--"only 1 crazy person allowed in a relationship--two is a disaster waiting to happen."

Keep thinking and writing--and find a therapist!

china

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Well, china, at least I can make you feel better about your life... something good is coming out of all of this. hahaha!

I haven't heard from my sister in a couple of days. I am still struggling with this incredible urge to pack up and move there. I even considered using this last paycheck that I got yesterday... it's only $700, but I can make it there with that. I know I can. I had it mostly planned just tonight.

It's not helping that there is a lot of drama at my workplace (it's like a soap opera there - really, it's very dramatic, I should write it all down and sell it "life and love during the night shift at the gas station"). I try so hard not to get involved with the histrionics, but it's very difficult to stay out when everyone comes running to me. I so wish the manager would hire someone other than me over the age of 25. That would help so much. I did consider seeing if I can go back to being a cashier, but I have a feeling that my hours would be cut so much I'd be looking for another job because my manager would think I'd "let him down" by asking for a demotion. He's like that.

I wrote about the boyfriend thing in the relationship thread... that's not helping *at all*

My daughter still hasn't found a job. She says she has one "in the bag" if she can just get to the clinic and get a TB test (it's for a daycare center), but that was several days ago, and she still hasn't left the house to go get the test... I don't know what she's waiting for.

I just want to lie down, go to sleep, and wait for it all to go away.... can i do that? will it happen? that would be just great if I could lie down and it would all just work itself out while I sleep through it all. I know, of course, that's not going to happen - but that's what I'd like to do...

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  • 2 weeks later...

An update... I didn't want to start another thread, so I figured I'd just update this one...

Here goes.

I told my boss that I couldn't do the sixty hour thing anymore, that my body couldn't take it and I had other health concerns. His answer was "We all have health concerns, but I still do my job..." He now has me working about three days a week, and I think he put me back at $7 an hour. That's not going to pay my rent. So, I'm not being overworked anymore, but now I'm now working enough. I'll be putting in applications this afternoon elsewhere. I hear that Walmart is hiring, and so is Target. They are pretty low stress jobs from what I understand.

My sister miscarried her baby a couple of days ago, we were all saddened/relieved. It was a mixed blessing. Sad at the loss of a baby's life and relieved because it was such a high risk pregnancy and so late in her life that she really could not guarantee its good health and well being.

I'm still having relationship issues, but I'm working them out slowly. It's been so long since I've been *in* a really real relationship that I guess it just takes some getting used to. For all intents and purposes, I've pretty much been on my own since my second husband left in 2000, and he really wasn't all that serious about it either (wanted me for his green card). I'm not counting the manic mistake I made in 2005, he didn't last that long anyway. So, for real, I've been on my own since I left my first husband in 1994. Sure, I've had a few guy friends come and go, but nothing terribly serious - well except once - but that's a whole different story. I guess I just have to get into the swing of it.

My daughter still isn't working, she *says* she's looking. I know it's hard because we live in the middle of nowhere and the bus system here sucks, but she has to find a job. Especially since mine doesn't pay the rent anymore.

Anyway, the point is, I don't have as many stressors now, well I guess I do, just different ones. But, I'm getting some restful sleep, I'm not *nearly* as tired as I was, and my moods have leveled out a bit. Actually, they haven't. I nearly walked off the job yesterday in a fit of rage because of something someone else said. I *almost* smashed his ugly, beer bellied, chain-smoking, holier-than-thou face in with cash register, but I did control myself. Mostly because I threw my back out the day before and that would have hurt me more than him (trying to lift the thing and swing it). Instead, I switched shifts with another worker and went home early so that I wasn't closing with the guy... yeah, spending six more hours alone in the store with him was *not* a good idea. Besides, tensing up like that was killing my back. It was better that I went home all around.

I did finally get to see my pdoc - which was a complete waste of time. She barely listened to me, wrote me some scripts, and sent me on my way. She upped my level of Seroquel, and that's about it.

So there's my update.

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