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Urges for the rest of my life


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I'm just wondering if I will be having urges to cut for the rest of my life. I don't cut nearly as often as I did a year ago (once a month now) but I think about doing it several times a day, everyday. Most of the time I either ignore the urge or distract myself until it goes away. I had an NP once tell me that I will probably be dealing with this forever. If that's not bleak, I don't know what is.

So, does it go away eventually? Do I have hope?

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I honestly can't answer that question, it depends if you view self harm as an addiction that once conquered you will always have the urge to do, or whether as life improves and your mental health improves, the need goes away. The fact is that we only have a succession of present moments, this moment, to get through, the past has gone and the future doesn't exist, so it is useless to try to predict the future and have feelings about it, we might as well celebrate our success not self harming in the present moment.

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It's been over 6 years since the last time I cut.

I still deal with almost daily urges. They get worse when I'm more anxious or depressed or when the PTSD symptoms rear their ugly head. I've gotten good at refocusing or talking myself down.

I have a feeling I'll have them on some level all my life. But they do get quieter.

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It's been about 18 months since I last cut or burned myself. I can honestly say that the worst of the urge has faded into the background to a certain degree, but in high stress situations I tend to really clench my fists so that my nails cut into my palms. I figure that's better than whipping out a blade.

It's a cliche to say this, but really, try to take things on a day-by-day basis. I don't think any of us will ever escape this completely, but eventually you will find that it's not on your mind incessantly.

best wishes to you

Mia

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I don't know a damn thing about cutting, but I used to be a heavy smoker. I haven't smoked for almost 20 years. I still get urges to light up on occassion, but they aren't nearly as strong as they used to be and are pretty easy to ignore now.

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I get the urges every day to cut, mostly bc I cut for so many different reasons, and lately with my voices in my head, andsuch getting worse, it gets harder not to cut..but then again I believe our bodies can become addicted to cutting....But I have gone a little while without taking a knife to my flesh, just bc iam preggers, and would feel damn guilty if I did...

it is hard, but yeah I agree take it day by day..I know a friend of mine who is 45, who is still acutter, been cutting since she was really young, and I have heard, this is just what I have heard, the longer you have been doing it the harder it is to quit, like other drugs..I would know bc i used to shoot up heroin ,and after just 2 years, I couldnt quit!! Well not till 3 years after that...but it almost killed me..I tend to think that it wouldnt kill someone to quit cutting cold turkey, but after my friends suicide in 05, I dont really know.

take it easy

hope you can make it day by day without it! ;)

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Honestly, I haven't cut regularly in years-- we're talking since high school and I'm 21 now and I didn't even do it a lot then. But when I get stressed out now I still have the urge to cut. And it is a very strong urge.

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I stopped cutting in my 20s, but I still picked. I went back to cutting in my late 30s. Now I mostly can pass over the urges but sometimes I can't so I try to minimize the damage.

For me sometimes it's a choice between using drugs/drinking again or cutting. So far I have chosen to cut.

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I am uncertain of my future, I don't know if I'll ever be free of the urges. I hope in time that I will learn better ways to resist the urge to SI and find other pathways to channel my too intense emotions. I hope that everyone eventually learns to cope better.

Panz

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I haven't cut since junior high school, forty years ago, but then last night I found myself cutting. I mean I knew I was cutting when I did it, I just hadn't had the urge to do so for so many years.

Tommy

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I think yesterday was the first day since I started to SI that I had no urges or thoughts about cutting at all. It was weird but fantastic. I didn't even realize it untill this morning.

On the whole addiction thing, yeah I agree. It is my addiction. I've started pill popping recently and now I get urges to do that when I feel bad too. life sucks sometimes.

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I think Mark Twain observed that you cannot throw a habit out of the window, you must gently walk it down the stairs. It will take time, but I believe we can get free eventually.

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