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FUCK EVERYTHING.

SMASH IT ALL TO HELL.

FUCK IT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT. FUCK IT.

I'm sorry I haven't been there, Justin. I have been at work but you know I'd be there otherwise.

Is it anything in particular? (what or who do you want to smash?)

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Well, for me its been just generally the shit week from hell--no energy, no motivation, nothing but anger at myself and how I let myself get in this fix, and why can't I get out of it??

I guess this week just SUX--

china

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Have you tried exercising? Or some form of physical activity to "get it all out". Before I was medicated on Seroquel, Klonopin, Lamictal, and Prozac, I frequently felt like you do. I used to throw things. This was especially satisfying if it made a loud noise. Also, slamming doors is fun. Except we have one working, unbroken door in our house now. Exercising was the last thing on my mind. Now that I started exercising, I've found something that gives me relief (besides all my meds.). It is called a balance board. You can pick one up at Wal-mart for about 15$. Just don't throw anything at the people in Walmart. Try to go when it's not busy. The balance board takes concentration on balancing and if you stay on it long enough, you will tire out. It also works on all the core muscles.

I hope this didn't make you angry. Sometimes I feel the way you do and express it inappropriately. And, no, I don't always exercise to help it go away. I don't think this was helpful.

Suggestion #2, if you have any benzos and it's ok'd by pdoc, take some extra. That always does the trick for me. Sometimes, I take extra Klonopin and extra Seroquel, then I don't care about much of anything.

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Have you tried exercising? Or some form of physical activity to "get it all out". Before I was medicated on Seroquel, Klonopin, Lamictal, and Prozac, I frequently felt like you do. I used to throw things. This was especially satisfying if it made a loud noise. Also, slamming doors is fun. Except we have one working, unbroken door in our house now. Exercising was the last thing on my mind. Now that I started exercising, I've found something that gives me relief (besides all my meds.). It is called a balance board. You can pick one up at Wal-mart for about 15$. Just don't throw anything at the people in Walmart. Try to go when it's not busy. The balance board takes concentration on balancing and if you stay on it long enough, you will tire out. It also works on all the core muscles.

I hope this didn't make you angry. Sometimes I feel the way you do and express it inappropriately. And, no, I don't always exercise to help it go away. I don't think this was helpful.

Suggestion #2, if you have any benzos and it's ok'd by pdoc, take some extra. That always does the trick for me. Sometimes, I take extra Klonopin and extra Seroquel, then I don't care about much of anything.

I'm at work

Benzos make me sleepy

although the neurontin hypes me up

maybe the will calm me down just enough

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synth--

I'm another "been there, done that".

Also, I'm another advocate of exercise and benzos.

I'm not sure I agree with mel on the specific type of exercise, though. If you're too distracted by anger, IMO you could fall off the balance board. This is why I learned to take out my own anger by running, and not road biking. My mixed states had resulted in many more cycling accident scars than they had caused SI scars. (My forearms and shins are covered with the former.)

Then again, I'm a klutz, your coordination may vary. The balance board could be a good way to focus yourself on something else. Maybe have a wall or two within reaching distance? heh

Another non-med idea... I know you're a big music buff, so do you know of any music that helps dissolve your anger? For me it's certain heavy metal bands (I take solace in these bands since they let me know I'm not the most bitter person out there!). Metal can be very anger-provoking to some people, so find the music that dissolves the rage, be it soft or hard, emotional or bland.

As far as meds, I see your benzo is listed as PRN... I assume you've taken it? If you have and even that doesn't work, speak with your pdoc about a dosage adjustment or even a benzo change.

Also, check with your pdoc about perhaps adjusting other meds. I don't know personally which of your current meds could potentially contribute to your rage (I've never taken any of them), but maybe you and your pdoc may be able to spot something.

In any event, I'm not one for expressing rage (in real life that is, not online, I express rage here plenty). It once almost got me evicted from a house (that said, there was great silicovaginosis involved, and not on my part). I'm all for the "Freudian defense mechanism" of sublimating rage into something less destructive. I'm glad you've let it out here, so that you won't have to take it out on objects (inanimate or otherwise). Or Wal-Mart customers, although that one's tempting for me whether or not I'm in a rage.

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I do exercise via bike riding. I can't do much running or walking because of a bum ankle. It helps some, but nothing really quells the anger completely. Benzos also help some, but there's just a lot of stuff going on that's feeding into an already irritable state.

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I do exercise via bike riding. I can't do much running or walking because of a bum ankle. It helps some, but nothing really quells the anger completely. Benzos also help some, but there's just a lot of stuff going on that's feeding into an already irritable state.

I actually have the same problem with running (well, more that I have a bum ligament system throughout my body)... for me, thick pneumatic shock shoes (Nike brand "Shox") helped. But, you do have biking for you, although it sucks that it doesn't alleviate the problem completely.

Then again, I'm not sure that anything will alleviate certain psychological situations.

You did say that a lot of crap was going on now... I assume it will pass (I hope)? I hope that its lack of permanence <sorry, there's a better term, brain not working today> can give you at least a little bit to look forward to.

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Not to advocate taking drugs instead of finding other, more acceptable ways to vent some rage, buuuttt, I take a bit of risperdal, .5mg, and that helps to sooth at least the roughest part, and allows me to become somewhat human again.

Mmm. Careful slamming doors, I broke the window in one doing that. Coffee cups can also put holes in walls, been there done that.

Oh yeah, something my son does when he's hyped up and super frustrated.... he goes outside with a hammer and breaks rocks. Really, I'm not kidding. It's not only satisfying, it wears him out a bit. Got any rocks or bricks on hand?

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Mmm. Careful slamming doors, I broke the window in one doing that. Coffee cups can also put holes in walls, been there done that.

That reminds me to mention... even if the head is capable of putting dents in a metal door, it doesn't mean that one should use their head to that effect. It probably didn't help the brain damage I already have/had from that virus critter inside my head, come to think of it.

Oh yeah, something my son does when he's hyped up and super frustrated.... he goes outside with a hammer and breaks rocks. Really, I'm not kidding. It's not only satisfying, it wears him out a bit. Got any rocks or bricks on hand?

Make sure you have a sturdy (single piece forged) hammer if you're going to try that. I once had a hammerhead fly off a wooden handle at me that way. Also, don't do it near dry tinder.

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Suggestion #2, if you have any benzos and it's ok'd by pdoc, take some extra. That always does the trick for me. Sometimes, I take extra Klonopin and extra Seroquel, then I don't care about much of anything.

Ah, yes. The old Seroquel-Benzo Drop-Out. I know it well.

Actually I'd probably be dead if it weren't for those drugs.

People who are made sleepy by benzos may want to try taking a very small dose. The idea is to get the effect of the drug without 'feeling' the drug. I frequently swallow .0125 mg of Xanax when I'm edgy and it just makes me feel normal, with no side effects whatsoever.

I have found that less is more with Benzos, unless I am dangerously psychotic and need to be strongly sedated. God I hate my illness.

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