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I'm feeling better now


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Well, that mood I've been in has finally passed.  I'm not sure how to describe it, as I've never been quite like that before - I think.  I mean *wow*.  It wasn't quite rapid cycling because it didn't seem like I ever changed my moods, but I was showing signs of both depression and mania... maybe it was ultra rapid cycling? or I wonder if that was a mixed episode?  I can't tell, because I was the one going through it, and I wasn't really aware of my mood until a few days back when it escalated, though I knew I was "off" somehow.  I mean, thought I was going through something like that before a couple of months back, but boy oh boy, these past weeks were tense

*phew*

But, I woke up this morning and the world was a better place.  It's not all roses and sunshine by any means, but it is as it should be.  I'm not enraged anymore. I'm not overwhelmed. I'm not looking to jump the first man I see and ravish him repeatedly. I'm not wanting to disappear, or scream at people, or curl up in a little ball and sleep for a month.  I'm not wanting to do any of the things I been wanting to do for the past week or so that certainly would have ended me in a lot of trouble one way or another. And for the first time in weeks, I don't want to cry. I'm not sure what changed over the five hours I slept last night, but I'm sure glad it did.

Anyway, thanks to those who gave me support and put up with my whining and bitching these past few weeks.  It really does help to know people care.

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