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:cussing::cussing:

Okay, I know this sounds a bit dramatic but there are days that I just feel like no one in this world likes me. I think I am likable enough. I am always glad to lend a hand, happy to offer support to those in need, ect.

I have been told that I am hard to read and most people are hard for me to read. I just don't get it. :wtf:

Again, dramatic, but when I post anywhere it seems like mostly only the moderators answer. It is like they feel sorry for me and post because they feel like they have to..... :cussing:

Sometimes I just want to die and end the misery of always wondering what is wrong with me. It is hard to live this way, mentally ill I mean.

;):)

Thanks for letting me rant on your parade...

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Again, dramatic, but when I post anywhere it seems like mostly only the moderators answer. It is like they feel sorry for me and post because they feel like they have to.....

keep in mind that there are quite a few mods and we are on here a LOT, so it is very likely that your post would be answered by a mod.

I'm an admin/mod and I'm going to answer your post anyway. Hope that's ok.

Anyway... I doubt that people all hate you. It's an illness thing.

You've posted one other time this week and it wasn't answered by a moderator. So, while it may feel like no one is answering and no one is there, it isn't the reality of the situation. When you feel like everyone hates you, you have to try and step back from that and assess what that means. It really is an irrational thought because of depression. Depression can twist our reality and our thoughts and make us think very negatively so it's really hard to see any positives or even neutrals.

Also, if you feel like you aren't getting enough responses, don't be afraid to say

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Nutz, we all or most of us feel that way sometimes. I post a lot of things that never get a single peep out of anyone. It is depressing, you feel like you've said something sub-moronic and you start being paranoid that everyone hates you and thinks you are a huge crashing bore...not really true, but it sure does feel like that.

I don't hate you

I hope your lump turns out to be just an annoying lump

And that you get some peace

=)

Panz

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i feel the same way.

i have a hard time establishing friendships. and if i do, i don't know how to maintain them.

in general, it just feels like nobody likes me. or, that they like me for the moment, but don't try to be my friend.

you said something important. that they cannot read you. people are scared of the unknown. and i am sure you do not wear your heart on your sleeve possibly because of past hurt. maybe you are projecting a stay-away-from-me emotion without even knowing it?

or maybe it is just depression. when i am depressed it seems like it is a fact that noone likes me because i do not have any friends. i do not know if you do or not, but that is just me. it amplifies that fact and is easy to come to that conclusion when i am depressed. i just don't see it any other way.

when i am not depressed, i feel the same way, again, for the proof is in the pudding to me.

but, when i am at work the reality is that people do like me. (at least they are nice to me. guess that doesn't mean they like me. see how warped the thinking is?) maybe they just keep their distance otherwise because i project something or am a little too guarded?

i don't know. this may have nothing to do with you. i hope you work things out!

sincerely,

kathryn

psssss i am a very caring, cheerful person. i know that. i will not let others tell me otherwise.

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Nut Job,

I have often wondered what it takes to make friends here. I feel so isolated.

And I too, have posted and got no replies. Thats basically how my springer is. But I do a lot of whinning there, so go figure.

Depression and whisper a lot of nasty, untrue things to you. And when you are in a depression (or have never come out of one) its hard to realize that.

I certainly dont hate you. I would like to get to know you better, if you want. Yanno, be friends. PM me anytime.

Selene

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i'm another one you can always pm on here, by the way, nut- and that goes for all the rest of you, too. i am absolutely open to friendship on this board. :)

i have recently been feeling the same way- the other night, two different mental health forums (not this one) gave me the ignore treatment; and what i had posted was urgent begs for help in the middle of a drunken, hopeless ocd-related crisis. even the regional mental health clinic blew me off- in the middle of ranting and tears, i was coldly told by a rude receptionist that i'd be hung up on and called back as soon as a clinician was available. i reminded her twice that this was an emergency, only to be answered, "ma'am, this is the way we do things". (i just love being called "ma'am" in general, too! ;) ) i told her not to bother, slammed the phone down, and ended up having to call two other crisis lines (one of them long-distance) just to hear the warm voice of a random human who wasn't a heartless machine.

don't ever feel like it's just you, babe- the world has been pulling the same exact thing with me, lately. you're not alone.

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Thanks everyone for your replies. I really needed to hear from someone, ya know. Here lately I am so depressed and my pdoc is jacking around with my meds and it just isn't working for me. I tried to tell her but she wasn't listening. I hate med changes!

Everything everyone said made sense, maybe since I am hard to read, I send everyone a negative 'get away from me' vibe? When they start acting weird then I start acting weird and then they don't talk to me and then I feel all alone......blah.

I am also glad to see that I am not the only one that feels that way (even though I know deep down everyone is busy or maybe I posted at the wrong time so my post got buried without any answers).

I am so grateful to the mods for their hard work and warm encouragement when everyone is feeling down. I really appreciate all of you.

Please any of you guys, pm me anytime too! I will be pm'ing you as soon as I figure out how to do it ;)

Olemedina, that is so crappy that you had to look so hard for some help! They should train those receptionists to be better at their jobs! Jerks!

Moderators-Do you all wear pink, pointy hats, LOL!

Nut_Job

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nut_job--

Nice to see you back.

As far as people not liking you (or you getting that sort of vibe), there's always the chance that these people are the ones you shouldn't be around (if at all possible). I don't know if that will help, but it has helped me, and I'm more rejection-sensitive than the average joe. But don't let that mindset turn you anti-social, it did for me for a while. Find a balance if you can.

I find that like-minded people are less likely to reject me. I was lucky in that respect, since I went to high school and college with a lot of like-minded nerds/geeks/dorks/etc. For some reason, I tend to attract the "needy" type in friendships, too. I'm not talking about people like you, I'm talking people who think the friendship is destroyed and practically start crying when I take 2 days to reply back a phone call. Interestingly, breaking a stereotype, most of my "needy" friends are fellow guys.

(n.B. - I don't think my "needy" friends are being histrionic... I think they really do feel rejected at the slightest slight.)

Also, in romantic relationships (and physical attraction), I seem to attract the "underage" type. But that's something different.

Oh yeah, to PM someone, just click the member name at the top left of their reply, and select "send message".

You can also get me on AIM/YIM, see my profile (click my SN and select "view member profile") for that contact info.

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I can relate. I've spent a lot of time lately trying to figure out when and how I went down the wrong path in life so that I would be forever doomed to be losing friends and not making enough new ones and yeah. I can be very generous, very funny, very compassionate, very wise, and others have told me all of these things at different times. So why have my friends all abandoned me again and again at different stages of my life, why am I so alone, why do I not have old friends from college or whatever, why did my father disown me? Can it really really be that my depression was so troubling that people decided they couldn't know me? I don't know.

I wish there were a way to create not just a support group, but a directed group where the members actively work on each others' social skills and networking and push each other towards real goals. I always end up drifting away from support groups because I end up feeling limited usefulness in just comiserating or having people tell me they understand or relate or whatever. I want to know what I don't know, and work on improving and growing.

Don't listen to me. Everyone hates me.

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I just wanted to give you props for using the violin smilie.

Thanks, what I was saying was truely how I feel but when coming out of my mouth.......well I think of someone playing "My heart pumps piss for you" on the violin while saying it, KWIM?

Thanks everyone for your replies. It is nice to know that I am not to only one to feel this way, like the biggest loser on the face of the earth.

Sometimes I have such a hard time relating to people, I wonder if there is something else wrong with me....besides the bi-polar II and anxiety crap.

Nutz

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NJ, I feel very similar, it's even been pointed out to me by my ex that I seem to assume that people don't/won't like me.

Not easy having grown up in a family where I was made to feel I was unlikeable by a mother who singled me out from the others, treated me differently all the time put me last etc.

Anyway, what I try to do, at least for myself, is try to dress nicely, make a little bit of an effort, helps me to feel good about myself, and try to self-talk myself into thinking people will / are going to like me etc. Not give them an obvious reason to dislike me, etc. Be polite, tidy, conform to the social norms as much as possible, the ones I'm aware of then (been socially isolated for most of my adult life so I do lack some social skills and am a tad uncomfortable in social situatons).

Anyway not that it always works, I still have times of self doubt, revert back to my old ways of thinking etc.

My anxiety, social phobia and depression don't help, sometimes I just think I'm f'd up too. I sometimes avoid people on purpose so that I don't have to communicate, even if a simple hello was only expected. On the other extreme, most of the time in social settings I must have a drink or two before I can go to a social event or even dinner with a friend or whatever. Which brings it's own set of problems as then people have a reason to potentially dislike me if I am too tipsy and act up a little (or a lot). So it's a lose/lose situation with me. Either ppl don't like me cause I'm too quiet, or ppl dislike me if I act up from being too tipsy. I can't just be me with ease. And so I stay isolated socially as I'm too afraid to be out there.

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I know a lot of mentally interesting people are hard to get to know, hard to get close to. I for I, always say the wrong thing at the wrong time. People who "get me" say "Oh that's just scatty", when others are horrified, Whoever can't take my sarcasm and weird sense of humor, that's their loss. We are really wonderful human beings despite having fucked up brains.

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