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Fell off the Wagon


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So, I fell off the wagon. It had been since March 17, but I slipped tonight.

;) I had a massive fight with my boyfriend, which I will detail on another thread. I felt incredibly unattractive and useless, so I fell into bad habits. I cut myself several times, fairly deep but I'm pretty sure I don't need stiches. :)

I'm not sure how to deal with the stress. I take my meds for bipolar, I'm waiting for a tdoc to deal with everything else. I try to keep in mind all the wonderful suggestions on this board, but sometimes it seems like the best way to settle/come back is to cut.

It seems like a major trigger for me is a fight with my fiance, it's not his fault but I cope poorly with friction between us. We seem to fight about the same things over and over, and never resolve the issues. Each and every time we rehash things I end up hurting myself. I just want some resolution.

I don't think there is anything that someone else can tell me, I just need to get this out (it's after 2:30 am here) and have no one to talk to. Thank you for listening.

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So, I fell off the wagon. It had been since March 17, but I slipped tonight.

;) I had a massive fight with my boyfriend, which I will detail on another thread. I felt incredibly unattractive and useless, so I fell into bad habits. I cut myself several times, fairly deep but I'm pretty sure I don't need stiches. :)

I'm not sure how to deal with the stress. I take my meds for bipolar, I'm waiting for a tdoc to deal with everything else. I try to keep in mind all the wonderful suggestions on this board, but sometimes it seems like the best way to settle/come back is to cut.

It seems like a major trigger for me is a fight with my fiance, it's not his fault but I cope poorly with friction between us. We seem to fight about the same things over and over, and never resolve the issues. Each and every time we rehash things I end up hurting myself. I just want some resolution.

I don't think there is anything that someone else can tell me, I just need to get this out (it's after 2:30 am here) and have no one to talk to. Thank you for listening.

Well, I'll throw this out there only cause I've often wondered this about myself. Is it possible that you're cutting to hurt him or to show him just how much he's hurt you? Just curious, how does he respond to your cutting? Is it a response that sits well with you?

I know, it's kinda a generic response, but like I said... just throwin' it out there.

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