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He's going away


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I met my best friend in December, 2001.  I was just out of an abusive hell of a marriage, and really didn't trust men, but I somehow knew I could trust him.  For three and a half years, he's been my rock.  He drives me to my appointments, he's paid for my meds when I didn't have the money for the copay, bullied me into taking better care of myself.  He makes me laugh.  Last month, when I was in hospital for five days, he got his work schedule changed so he could take care of my son.  I'm deeply in love with him, although I know that he doesn't have romantic feelings for me.  He solved my housing problem by paying my rent for me, even though he knows I can't work, and have no idea when I will be able to pay him back. 

He works for the evil Walmart, and has had enough of it.  He's burned out with uni, and after much thought has decided to become a trucker.  We've discussed it, and I support him in his decision, but knowing that there will be long periods of time when I can't see him hurts.  He's promised to call as often as he can (he said every night, but I know that's not practicable), and he's going to send my son postcards from the cities he stops in.  We're going to get a map so we can follow his route. 

My son is going to miss him very much, as well.  Xander gave him a Father's Day card this year.  He's been more of a father to Xander than Xander's biological father.

It feels like I'm losing him, even though I know he needs to do what he's doing.  He's 33 and living with his parents, and he needs to get out on his own.  He'll start out at twice the salary he's currently making.  He'll feel better about himself.  I know it's a good thing for him.  Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell.

[/vent]

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Orionova-

I'm sorry for the ickiness.  You're right that you need to support him as he has supported you, and it is to be hoped that a little distance for a while might "make the heart grow fonder."  You say there are no feelings on his part for you -- to what extent have you spoken together in relationship terms?  Is this something he has told you, or something you have assumed/inferred?  How did he react to receiving a Father's Day card?

Let us know what progresses.

Cerberus

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Orionova-

I'm sorry for the ickiness.  You're right that you need to support him as he has supported you, and it is to be hoped that a little distance for a while might "make the heart grow fonder."  You say there are no feelings on his part for you -- to what extent have you spoken together in relationship terms?  Is this something he has told you, or something you have assumed/inferred?  How did he react to receiving a Father's Day card?

Let us know what progresses.

Cerberus

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey, Cerberus.  Thanks for the reply.  We've talked about relationships in general.  He's been engaged to a woman in the Philippines for the past ten years.  I think he's realised that she's been using him.  She only calls him when she wants him to send her money, and has been caught out in lies on more than one occaision.  She's had her appendix out twice so far. ;) Anyway, he says he "loves me dearly", and that I am the best friend he's ever had. 

As for the Father's Day card...  I think it hurt him.  After he left the Philippines (he was in the navy), his fiancee told him she was pregnant.  It's a looooong story, but inconsistancies lead me to believe there was no child.  As far as he knows, though, he had a daughter who died two years ago.  He's still hurting over the loss. 

What do you think?  Would it make a good plotline for a soap opera, or is it too unbelievable?

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He had an interview with a trucking company today.  He starts school on the 15th August.  I thought it was bad before, but now it's really going to happen.  I don't know what to do.  He's such a big part of my life.  We see each other almost every day and talk on the phone once or twice a day. 

Between Mike's news and the news that my dad has cancer, I'm feeling hopeless.  If it wasn't for my son, I'd be on the edge now. 

I need to cry now.

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Oh Ori, what a wicked situation.  I'm sorry for what you are going through.  The most I can offer is a cyber hug (insert here) and a smack in the cranium to rock head of a man who doesn't know what he is missing.  I hope something goes more positively in your direction in the upcoming days.

JBella

P.S.

I love your son's name.  That's my #1 choice for my first son's name. ;)

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Orionova -

All is not lost.  Truckers just travel for a living; they still have to come home periodically.  And as for talking every day, there are a number of cell phone companies that offer nationwide coverage.  If he's just now coming off the Phillipine woman debacle (egad, two appendixes?  :

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