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I can't stop having thoughts about my doctor's appointment tomorrow. That I am scared to talk to him and I am really close to canceling it because I'm having so much fucking anxiety over it. I'm crying and my stomachis messed up and my head just feels really full. And I keep thinking about me being in the office and not being able to apeak or not being listened to and I'm kind of freaking out. I don't know what wrong with me, what my problem is because I know I have anxiety issues but they have just been so much worse. Or differet. It is like there is this extrra component to them. It just sucks. There isn't anything I can do because we don't really treat my anxiety right now which is why this is such a big deal maybe. And I can't stop talking about my fucking anxiety, like I need to just go on and on about it and have been for the past several weeks. I just don't have anything to do with myself right now. I have the appointment tomorrow but stuff just feels really bad right now and I'm trying to resist banging my head on the wall to just stop everything and shut it all up. I feel like I'm never going to get through to my doctor for some reason and the feeling won't go away. TNothing sensible is working. I don't feel like I'm having a panic attack, I'm just kind of freaking out.

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Do whatever it takes to go to your appointment. It is important to get your docs attention to the depth of this anxiety problem. I was in the same situation with my pdoc 4 months ago. I finally had to bring all our other discussions to a halt and very politely but firmly explain how my anxiety and obsessions were eating me alive and stopping me from making any more progress. Thank she understood and the changes since then have been wonderful.

Don't fumble or worry any more about how to explain it. ;)

rest easy tonite. a.m.

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Ditto what A.M. said. Do whatever you have to so you can get there, then say very clearly to her how bad the anxiety is and how important it is to get it treated, and if she doesn't understand or moves on to another topic, keep bringing it up again until she's heard you and worked out a plan of action. (Or do CB #8 and print it out.)

I had something similar happen the first time I began rapid cycling. It was very frustrating.

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You will be ok. It is like performance anxiety/stage fright. God, I've been in your place so many times, I wish I was there to walk you through it. You tell the doc that you are climbing the walls and can't deal with things due to the anxiety ok? Don't let them down play it. Don't cancel, you have to get help for this.

I'm wishing you peace and relief from the panic

thinkin' about you Luna

Panz

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I hope you made it to the appointment. I have been in that state too. I did find I was making everything worse in my head. Reality really wasn't what I expected or feared. Our minds are scary places at times, huh? It sucks, but we plod on. I hope you're feeling calmer now.

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Yep. I can't add anything to the comments already made.

Get yourself to the appt, in whatever way you have to: yes

Print out this post, and hand it to pdoc (or is it tdoc)? whatever: yes

Spill your anxieties, then sit back and let him lead you where you need to go.

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Well I got to my doctor. I wrote down a list beforehand about what I wanted to tell him but of course I didn't end up printing it out. The waiting room was probably the worst part; I was trying to figure out what i was going to say and getting more and more worked up over it. Anyway, I ended up being able to tell him everythnig that was going on, finally by just sort of blurting it all out and it was pretty obvious, once I started talking that something was going on anyway, as I was all agitated and nervous.

I ended up with two prescriptions: Ativan/lorazepam and Risperdal/risperidone. Hopefully they will help.

Thanks for responding. I've been kind of flipping out lately.

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I have taken both. Ativan was a bit weak for me but calmed me down a bit. I can't say anything bad about risperdal. It has changed my life. Alleviates stress & tones things down in my head. It is great for my motivation too. I found it helped with my depression, anxiety, obsessive thoughts, runminating, and those horrid delusions of a mixed state. I'm due for a med adjustment now but I'm just gonna raise the risperdal to see if it does the trick. I've been on for about 2 years, with only 1 augmentation required. I hope it works as well for you! Keep us updated. It's fairly fast acting if I remember correctly.

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