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DID is taking over my life!


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Hi everyone, My DID is getting out of control. New personalities are popping up every few weeks now for several months. Here are the personalities that I have: A bird who believes who can fly, A 2 year old girl who can barely talk, someone who is confused and talks like this "You know the fact is and I don't know why the who is computer and the cow mooed", A super smart 5 year old girl, An alien from Mars who speaks and writes in a different language, a robot, a 50 year old man who loves Bush, an 87 year old woman, someone who doesn't know her name and believes she is being controlled and sometimes is stuck and can't move, and a terrorist who wants to take over the world. I am having all their thoughts in my head and can't think straight at times. I am me right now and that is the only reason why I'm able to type this. I have conversations in my head and I am able to communicate to some of the personalities. I do not actually hear them like in schizophrenia, but their thoughts sometimes are annoying. I believe that this is punishment by the government to me because of what I've done. I mentioned it many times already on this site. I killed 350,000 people with my dreams and influenced events around the world. Then I went to the hospital and I believe that they implanted a chip in me to control the personalities. The CIA or FBI is doing this for entertainment. I want to know, can you communicate to your personalities? How do you deal with their thoughts? I am also getting depressed because of the new personalities because I can't go back to school or get a job. Say you're taking a test and the alien or the 2 year old pops out and either writes in a different language or is not able to read and understand any of the college questions. Even though I am able to communicate to the personalities, I told them not to come out anymore they still come out constantly throughout the day. Yesterday I missed 90% of the day because of the personalities. How do you tell them to go away? How do you control it? I'm scared that the next personality is going to be a baby who crawls on the ground and is unable to walk or talk and needs a diaper. Do you have a personality like that? How long does therapy take to control DID?

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Hopefully Abi or Panz will stop by and comment. They know exactly what you are going through.

Telling the others to "go away" isn't going to work. With therapy, you can work through this and even integrate. It will take a long time from what I have heard.

Abi is perfectly happy as a system. Her personalities work together and cooperate. The littles know they have to "stay inside" at certain times. When there is a disagreement between alters, the primary concern about "what is best for the body" takes priority. There is debating, there is voting, there is compromise.

You may as well start with a therapist now. Your alters have to learn to work together or integrate. Either way you need help.

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Many DIDers (Abi and Panz included) use a system of post-it sticky notes for communication between personalities. It is important that each personality knows of the existence of other personalities (at least most of them).

Abi and Panz also like to come and read CB to find out what their "littles" posted. Apparently they derive quite a bit of entertainment from this.

Above are nothing but my amateur observations, but they might be worth discussing with a tdoc. I am not a DIDer, and the closest I come is my hypomanic-mixed state personality, one that my normal personality has trouble remembering anything about.

...and don't worry about your delusions so much. At least one of your personalities is full aware that there are delusional littles. Might be a subject you could write on post-it notes about.

...then again, some days I believe I have delayed a cure for Cystic Fibrosis by at least 5 years, but that's a different story.

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the first few months especially are hard when you all start getting to know one another. it will ease up once everyone starts to feel comfortable about sharing their memories and feelings.

it's kinda like being stuck in a nuthouse and everyone from the little autistic kids to the adult delusional sorts all have to agree on where to go for dinner, what to order, and how to get home lol. it's why our system name is the "nutshell".

abi

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  • 4 months later...

Hi There and greetings....

I usually try to hold "meetings" with my gang every night to try and work out the rough spots we may have had to work through during that past day. That worls pretty well. I also have put together a huge 3 ring binder filled with paper where everyone has a section in it, so if they dont feel like directly communicating to me or my mom or anyone else for that matter during the day, they can turn to the binder to do their writing during the night, that works really well.

I never really had a terrible time working with and controlling my alters from the start though, I have been lucky. There are a few here that dont agree with everyone and wish to do harm upon me and the others, but for the most part, everyone gets along pretty well.....

I hope this helped you even if just a little..... =)

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