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I feel super depressed! Help me!


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For the last few days, I have been extremely depressed again, the third such time this year alone. It always seems to happen around birthdays. My dad's was on June 13th. The last time I was depressed was on May 5th for a few weeks and then I got better. That was until the two new personalities popped up in the last week. One of them is 2 years old and doesn't know anything yet and the other one is at least 90 and believes she is being controlled by an outside force. Now I have all their thoughts in my head and its driving me crazy! I am unable to function and go to school or get a job. I am nothing. I haven't been eating much lately. I also haven't been building my model airplanes in the last few days because I have been switching too often between my 10 different personalities. On some days I miss 90% of the day. This is the first time today that I'm myself and am able to type. All this is making me feel down about my self. I can't even cry. I haven't been able to cry for months, if not years. During the personalities that I am more aware of, I also ( just like the 90 year old personality) feel an outside force controlling my movements and thoughts. This is mainly true in the "bird" mode where I believe that I can fly. I start flapping my arms and singing like a crazy person. How embarrassing! That also makes me depressed. I believe that the government is controlling me for entertainment as mentioned in a previous post I did awhile back. There are some days where I can't complete a sentence and it comes out all mixed up. I get confused easily. I am currently seeing a therapist, a psychiatrist, and someone who does EMDR for my DID. I also take my pills.

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Yeah, I think a visit to the pdoc/tdoc could be a good thing. Lots of triggers causing lots of delusions. You did the right thing for posting here, we are good people who've been through the same shit. Your meds aren't working properly. Please consider calling a crisis line (sometimes they can evaluate you right away) or go to the ER, or call your doc to call in a script. Has anything been added to your med cocktail recently? Let us know how you're doing Firebird.

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Thanks for responding. I just went to my therapist and had no results yet. I don't think I need to go to the hospital at this time because I am not suicidal. I admit the 90 year old personality has delusions but I don't because I'm not psychotic. I got more information about her. She thinks that she was abducted by aliens or kidnapped by people and implanted with a device in her brain. She receives information from the aliens or other people to tell her to do different things. One of those things is going catatonic. She is told to freeze in a position staring at a certain thing. The doctors increased my lithium to 900mg. That was the only change that happened recently. Without my pills I would be 100 times worse. The pills are saving my life. The Abilify is probably preventing the voices. I would be psychotic without my pills.

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