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Why the hell am I still scared?


Guest WTF

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I guess this post belongs here. I don't rightfully know. If it's a bad place, then feel free to move it. I had to get this out.

I was in an accident last November. It wasn't as bad as it could've been, I guess--I didn't have glass fly at me, I wasn't ejected, I didn't roll. But I did crash into the concrete median on the Interstate going around 65 MPH; I did break my wrist and subsequently need painful surgery. I went through months of physical therapy. My car was totaled. The bastard who merged by me--I swerved to avoid him, losing control and spinning out--got away scot-free. All and all, pretty terrifying.

Now, I've been on the Interstate since then. I've driven places. I got a new car. I've driven by the sign where I wrecked and joked about it being "my sign."

But now? I'm freaking terrified of driving. I can't seem to bring myself on the Interstate. I'm scared and on edge when I ride with other people. I tell myself that I "have" to drive on the Interstate, then spend the entire day (or night before!) feeling nauseous and horrified. I want to see a $1 play tomorrow--but it requires a long drive. I would've been able to make that drive before, but now... Now I'm sitting here typing this after a bout of crying.

I don't know why I'm suddenly freaking out. I'll be on the road for eleven or so hours in two weeks (though I'm not driving), and this new resurgence of horror might put a damper on things.

WTF. I'm so pissed and scared and just... ugh.

This sucks. I can't even see a therapist until school starts back up in late August. Suck suck suck.

My accident wasn't even that bad! I've driven the Interstate in March-May OK, so why now? WTF!

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You can go on auto-pilot for a long time before something starts to hit you. I was in a pretty bad accident a few years ago and it didn't quite hit me for a really really long time that I should maybe be concerned about driving. [this past year maybe] I don't know if that is because of the accident of other things, but I have been thinking about it and people have noticed that a lot of my anxieties have to do with cars and driving, which I had never had before.

Somehow you were finding a way to keep going for a while and now it's scaring you. I can't explain PTSD. I have various things randomly freak me out that I haven't thought about in years.

It will pass, but I just can't tell you how or give you the tools you need right now. Just, I've been there. Car accidents suck and it sucks when they catch up to you and you suddenly feel like you don't have as much control over your car anymore when you are driving and it gets nerve wracking everytime.

I hope stuff gets better.

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  • 11 months later...

I am also afraid to drive due to an accident so I understand your fear. Nothing more to add except a listening ear.

Triggers are the cause. The worst part of PTSD is figuring out what is triggering them. You don't have to be thinking about something. Just a glimpse can set off a trigger.

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Guest Guest_snowfly_*

I am also afraid to drive due to an accident so I understand your fear. Nothing more to add except a listening ear.

Triggers are the cause. The worst part of PTSD is figuring out what is triggering them. You don't have to be thinking about something. Just a glimpse can set off a trigger.

;) i have had driving anxiety for all the years that i have been driving but i got the best relief from the ptsd when i started doing EMCR. 3 weeks ago i got into a car accident--hit in my driverside door by a cesspool truck. i am fine but my driving anxiety has returned with a vengence. last night i had a 2 hour panic attack picking up my son and his girlfriend from the airport. i am spending the day recovering from that experience. with panic attacks it is good to try not to project that everytime you go back to a triggering situation automatically means you will panic. try not to make the fear of an attack become a self fulfilling prophesy. easier said than done i know.

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