Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Sign in to follow this  
Dark_Princess_78

Love, Marriage, and My Best Friend

Recommended Posts

My best friend is a guy. We've been best friends for 10 years, since college.

I'm sure that at points in our relationship we've both thought of each other as more.

A lot of people tell me that we'd make a great couple and we're so sweet together. I love him with my whole heart and do wonder if we should give it a go. I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I love him as more. I have for years and haven't done anything about it for fear of rejection.

HELP!!! What should I do? Should I give it a go and tell him how I feel? Should I keep it hush hush? Should I hint and see if he bites?

This is so confusing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would tell him how you feel. No sense wasting any more time. If he doesn't feel the same, at least you'll know. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

Are you the poster who had a fling with her boss and was considering getting back with an ex a few weeks ago?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Karuna, yes, I've had a historically messed-up love life. I don't know why I feel compelled sometimes to just jump into things, which is why I'm making darn sure that I'm making a smart move if I do decide to tell him. If I want to, then the choice will be a long time in coming. What brought on the desire to tell him is just that in contrast to the bad "relationships" I've had recently, it proves to me again and again how I really feel about him. We're just so good for each other, unlike the other scumbags I tend to bring into my life and end up regretting.

But to decide to go for it, I need to be DARN SURE that it is the right thing. I had that ill-fated interlude with my boss (yikes!), and then a date with my ex that ended up not working out. Thank heavens for that!

These terrible experiences have proven to me what love and closeness I do have with my friend. These experiences just highlight what I've already known.

But this isn't something to play around with. If I go for it, it has to be right, and at the right time. I think I need to make sure that everything is right.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

I suppose the reason that I asked was to prompt you to think if the love and closeness was really there, or if your latest foray had ended and you wanted someone new, and he happened to be there. I'm not getting at you. I just know from past experience that I used to be someone with no scruples who would do that! I'm a bit wiser now. And very, very single!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

DP78-

i'd do what you think you want to do, and that is wait for your heart to settle before making any moves, so you know that it's the right thing. even though you feel your latent love has to be expressed, you never know if you're timing it right or coming out about it for the right reasons.

focus on you for now, and wait at least a month or two before you look to him as a potential romantic partner.

i've been in a similar situation, adn i know it's hard to keep your mouth shut (and hands to yourself!). just focus on YOU for a little while. celebacy (i'm the one advocating celebacy, LOL) might be a good idea- that is, total celebacy, while you figure out what your heart and mind want to do.

loon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

78- My dh and I were best friends for a couple of years before we got together. All of our friends were trying to get us together. I said, " OOh gross, he's like my brother!" He was in love with me (found this out later) from the first day we met. To this day, he remembers what I was wearing and the first thing I ever said to him: "Who are you and why are you talking to me?" Yes, I was such a bitch. I was bitter and on hiatus from men after living on South Beach, falling madly in love with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend, who said he wanted to marry me, dumped me in that evil "guy way" (don't call or answer phone), and then got married to someone else a month- yes, a month- later. I thank him now, because I have 2 beautiful children who would not exist if my circumstances were different. I was brutal to the next guy I went out with. He was in love with me and I dumped him so harsh, he cried like a baby. Did I mention what a bitch I was?

Okay, to get back to dh. One day, about a year and a half after we met, I started having sexual dreams about him every night. And I all of the sudden was so attracted to him, it took my breath away. I had fallen in love with him and it was very obviously mutual. The rest is history. Now, we have 2 kids, 3 dogs, 3 cats, 1 guinea pig, 2 snakes, and 3 hermit crabs! My point is, other than being talkative in the morning, if it is meant to be or when it is meant to be, it will happen, and it will be natural. I think.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks!

I'm realizing more and more every day that I'm in love with him. I don't know if it is mutual or not. Today he said to me that the store associates would be all over me when I went in to buy this phone charger, and I made a comment about how I'm NOT hot, and he backpeddled and said they do that to everyone. Clearly, that was a compliment.

I'm so afraid to say or do anything. I don't want to risk anything. I've had a million dreams and a million plans, and just can't do anything.

If it will be natural, then how?

He told me today that his family asks him all the time why we don't get married, and I just laughed, and he never offered any reasons as to why we're not married, or laughed, but he kind of just sat there. Maybe I should have taken the chance to ask him why we're not married ;)

That kind of opportunity never comes around.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...