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My partner was scheduled for Chemotherapy at 8:00am Wednesday morning. Tuesday afternoon he lent our car to a friend of ours. Later that night, I told our friend to return the car in order to be on time for the Chemo appointment first thing in the morning. The car did not get returned that night. Starting at 6:00am I began text messaging and calling my friend to bring the car back. All calls and texts were ignored, and my partner took the train in 95 degree sweltering heat to the hospital. Approximately 9:30am my friend calls to inform me he intends to lend the car to another friend of ours - who will then return the car to me. I WENT BALLISTIC! I demanded he bring me the car immediately, He hung up on me. Two hours later I get a call from my partner informing me that the car was brought to the hospital. I was stranded. We did not know if my partner would be capable of driving home. The car was parked illegal and was slapped a $90.00 ticket and the gas gauge was on fumes. Guess who has been made out to be the bad guy? ME! I need some outside opinions please.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I would NEVER lend my car to a friend.. and your so-called friend was definately undeserving of the help you gave. Maybe in the future offer a lift, but not the car to lend. But you certainly shouldn't go out of your way to help them... there is such a thing as public transport, and what's with your 'friend' lending your car to someone else? it isn't theirs to lease out and pass around, it belongs to you. Cut the ties, your mate sounds like a fuck-wit. I would not feel like a bad guy, you are asking for respect and for people to respect your things and treat them with care. I would refuse to take any of your friends calls until they buy you a petrol voucher, apologise for the stress they put you through, making your sick husband catch public transport and pay for the fucking parking fine. Sounds like your friends life is a mess and it's certainly not your mess to clean-up. Walk away, your life will be much smoother without our mate in it! If they get away with this with no consequences (ie:don't ay the fine/apologise) they will only walk all over you again in the future. You don't need people like that in your life. Any 'friend' wouldn't do that. They'd realise 'hey, your husbands sick, you need the car,' and hopefully offer if they could help in any way. A friend would pay the fine as well, no questions asked.

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Also, why didn't your husband get involved in asking your friend to return the car, as he was the one who leant it in the first place? Maybe consider calling the police if it happens again in the future.

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Tuesday afternoon he lent our car to a friend of ours. Later that night, I told our friend to return the car in order to be on time for the Chemo appointment first thing in the morning.

What terms was the car lent on? Did your husband expect it back by the same evening? How long had the friend requested it for and how important was it (on scale of "needing to buy beer" to "needing to rescue homeless friend who is pregnant and needed to get to the hospital")? If the friend had a genuine need and your husband loaned the car in good faith for longer than a few hours then this friend might well feel put out by texts at 6am.

Sorry, just playing devil's advocate. My hunch is the friend wasn't in dire straights (unless he is Mark Knopfler, in which case dispose of any music he leaves in the car in a safe, secure manner.. just my prejudice there..) and should have returned the car on principle once he learned of the chemo appointment, which is pretty important.

On a side note, surely there are serious insurance issues involved when "lending" a car?

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