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Climbing out of depression


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I'm freaking out a little bit here.  After 2 1/2 years of serious depression I think I'm starting to come out.  I'm terrified.  What if I'm wrong?  Tears are streaming down my face as I write this so maybe I'm not.  I think they are tears of fear.

I'm not content to lay on the couch anymore.  But I don't want to do the things I'm supposed to do either.  Go to work, run errands.

I want to be with my boys.  Go for a walk in the park.  Go to the bookstore.  Do you know how long it has been since I've read in the bookstore?  My favorite pasttime?  I don't know.

And now I'm scared.  I really don't want to do any of that stuff.  Sounds too exhausting.  I want to go to sleep but I can't because of the damned Adderall.

I thought I would journal this afternoon, do something healthy.  It brought up all this stuff.

I think I need a daily meditation guide about recovering from depression to help smooth the waters.  Anyone familiar with one?

Thanks,

Rhonda

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Rhonda,

You are SO right. It is very frightening coming out of a depression at first. I love Raven's mantra. Your horizon expands, you can see beyond your own misery. The problem is, for me anyway, that you tend to dwell on the stuff that has gotten screwed up while you were depressed; bills, cleaning, friendships. Don't panic. You've gotten this far, you'll get the rest of the way.

You really don't have to do everything at once. Balance the special things you can enjoy again with the obligatory things, and let yourself get used to feeling better.

But what great news!. Savor it. God knows you've waited long enough for it.

Greeny

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Thank you Greeny, for your affirmation. And it makes sense to balance things.  It is a weird feeling, I'll try to savor it but I think I feel better when it just starts to feel normal to me again!  Keeping my fingers crossed that it will last.

Jump for joy!! ;)

Rhonda

Rhonda,

You are SO right. It is very frightening coming out of a depression at first. I love Raven's mantra. Your horizon expands, you can see beyond your own misery. The problem is, for me anyway, that you tend to dwell on the stuff that has gotten screwed up while you were depressed; bills, cleaning, friendships. Don't panic. You've gotten this far, you'll get the rest of the way.

You really don't have to do everything at once. Balance the special things you can enjoy again with the obligatory things, and let yourself get used to feeling better.

But what great news!. Savor it. God knows you've waited long enough for it.

Greeny

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

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This is a very anxious feeling you describe. I've had it for a couple of months. (Before that I was was just batshit). It can take a while to get it together after a depression. Try not to get overwhelmed. My tdoc would love it if I would meditate. I bought Full Castastrophe Living, a book about meditation techniques, but I haven't been able to embrace it yet. (The thought of learning how to do it is overwhelming LOL).

Today I made an eye doctor appointment, asked GAP to reverse a late fee, and scheduled some minor home repairs.

I've been thinking about these things for several weeks. I'm getting to them now because I'm just starting to feel better after a really rough 2005 (and not my first trip down the tubes by any means!).

Try just doing one thing every day, or every other day. The mantra is great! Pay one bill. As you resurface you'll probably be able to more and more.

Freakish how it's almost as scary to get well as it is to get sick in the world of MI.

Elaine

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Rhonda, this is not meditation but some folks find it useful. flylady.net It is about housework mostly but it shows you how to take baby steps and just do simple things that could help you get back on track.  Some might find it sucky but I thought it was cool. Now if I could just start doing instead of just reading about...

Glad to hear you are feeling better. Stay well, Sulu

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Thanks for all of your support.  I'm doing better.  I love Flylady!  It is so cool.  I'm trying to remember that I have been very very ill for a long long time and to take baby steps.  I'm just so incredibly thankful to be feeling better.

Rhonda

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