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When I was a little kid, I could always stare and any object in my room.. and if I held my gaze for at least 10sec, it would start to move - sway back and forth - even stable things like wall socket covers. I didn't think much of it and as I grew up, it went away.

Then, when I went off of Geodon, I heard a rumble sound and saw traces of movement (persistence of vision) for the whole time I went off it.

Again, not too worried - it's just withdrawal.

Then I start up on meds that I've taken all but Paxil before (Paxil, Cymbalta & Lithium) and I get a more mild version of that vision problem.. more like a halo than a 3 fl long trace this time. I think the Paxil may have triggered it, but it's been two weeks and it's still there.

All this.. really doesn't concern me.

What does, is that I came home from Starbucks with about 9 shots in me total (is that relevant?)..

I'm just fine, coherent, and able to concentrate. Then I decide to go to bed. So I take my 60mg Cymbalta, 900mg Lithium, and 20mg Sonata. And lay down.

--Lately I have been switching between coffee and beer (depending on my activities) & have taken these meds on both before.

Maybe it just got used to the beer too much, or maybe the shots are too high, or maybe I'm just a little crazy... what do you think? This shit is nuts even for me.

Ok, so I'm laying in bed and just all of a sudden realize that there are little people moving on my desk right next to my bed (instead of the normal cups and random objects). It's become some kind of city with imaginary things being moved back and forth (imaginary b/c my hand went through what was being "passed" along). And my computer case lights had doubled into lit trees.. which were, also, moving.

I don't know how long I had been starting at this initially before I realized, but I do remember being asked to do something - which ended up translating to - scratching the outside of a piece of cardboard. It was then that I realized I was scratching a piece of cardboard and looking at things moving that weren't there.

In the dark, my hands also looked like they had fur on them.

If anyone's ever seen Star Trek Borg, that's the idea of how they spoke. Just more of a conversational whisper than the menacing thing.

They had this whole, do this, do that.. spoken in terms of the fake objects, not real ones. My normal reaction to that would have been, forget it.. it's fake, and I should just go back to bed.

But then they started talking about how they could help me. So I went and sat in the general 'real' area of where they wanted me to go & tried to push things further - have more than a two word conversation.

That's when I couldn't hold the illusion anymore (it got more difficult as it went on; especially when I sought conversation) and went back to bed.

So - I know it's all mine or my medicine's doing somehow.. hopefully it's just a meaningless oddity.

In either case, do you guys think I should respond to it if it happens again. "It" claims to have help, and "It" is me... should I try and see if this mostly uncontrolled voice I created somehow actually does have something beneficial to say?

Alright, I'm going back to bed.. I just wanted to type this out before I forgot it.

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Thanks for that link Velvet Elvis.

It does sound like what you (Cetkat) are experiencing is some sort of temporal lobe activity, but don't quote me on it.

What I do know is many people with psychiatric illness also experience epilepsy and migraines - not surprising, given that Bipolar, Schizophrenia and other mental illnesses are neurological disorders. The other interesting thing is that relatives of those with full-blown mental illness often experience migraines and irritable bowel syndrome. They don't experience mental illness, yet anticonvulsants sort out their migraines, and anti-depressants alleviate their irritable bowel syndrome.

I have temporal lobe syndrome myself - though it appears infrequently. I had fits as a young child and saw auras, bizarre apparitions; sometimes objects would have a bizarre luminous plasticity to them. My drawings would be clotted with eyes. The epilepsy dissappeared for years and reappeared when I was 15. Which was around the time my bipolar got severe. I had out-of-body experiences at night, the feeling that demonic forces (which I saw as a shimmering, seething black mass) were pushing me into my bed. I also had moments of profund "Oneness" and general mystical "illumination" (I cringe now!).

Then it disappeared for a few years. When it reappeared again I had minor fits: a jolting followed by a brief loss of consciousess and olfactory hallucinations. I took tegretol for two years for the epilepsy and stopped; I was curious to see what would happen.

Nothing happened. So I stayed off the tegretol.

The next time I had fits was during a particularly vicious dysphoric mania. I took seroquel to bring me down and it catalysed really awful seizures accompanied by a feeling I can only describe as sheer, paralysing terror.

I took eplilm with the seroquel to control the epilepsy but stopped taking the epilim once I had come down from the dysphoric mania.

The next time I had epilepsy was during a mania late last year. Now when you're manic you can get on a lets-get-spiritual jag anyway, but with me manias seem to provoke my temporal lobe epilepsy. I only had about three or four actual seizures, but the rest of the time I had moments of bizarre minor hallucinations, psychic experiences, "melting" visual distortions, a sense of "presence", spiritual insights etc.

And of course when you're in this "exalted" state you become a total freak magnet - so every crazed religious nut ran in my direction and decided I was in the midst of some sort of kundalini-impelled spiritual emergence with the attendant disequilibrium of ego loss. Yeah right - like most people who are manic ego-loss was the last thing I was experiencing; what you're experiencing is more a violent, egocentric Nietzschian intoxication - though I believed I was on the gentle path of humility and purity! I've been manic before with no metaphysical weirdness - it just seems to be when the epilepsy kicks in I enter a parallel universe of palpable mysticism.

And I'm normally an atheist and skeptic!

Just goes to show how the subjectivity of temperament and idiosyncratic neurology makes a nonsense of our ideas of objective perception and understanding. We become consumed by our internal distortions. Not just those who are having a psychiatric episode, but everyone - to greater or lesser degrees.

I have a suspicion some mental health professionals may confuse temporal lobe phenomena for psychosis. However though I can relate my experience, of which you may be able to draw some parallels, it would be remiss for me or anyone else to diagnose your particular species of mental and sensory weirdness. I hope you've got a good psychiatrist and can come up with some concrete answers.

Cheers,

Jackie Dolphy

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When I was a little kid, I could always stare and any object in my room.. and if I held my gaze for at least 10sec, it would start to move - sway back and forth - even stable things like wall socket covers. I didn't think much of it and as I grew up, it went away.

It's normal. Your eyeballs do not stay precisely in the same position even when staring. As they move, just a little bit, the image comes away from parts of the retina that have been oversaturated from the color and into new areas, then back again.

What does, is that I came home from Starbucks with about 9 shots in me total (is that relevant?)..

Jack up the blood pressure enough and weaker blood vessels can press against parts of the brain. The results all depend on the location and extent.

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Good.. I'd rather have some random temporal stuff that probably isn't damaging (according to that site) than it actually be a sign of something worse.

I do know I've never lost blood from that part of my brain.. so I doubt there would be any real physical damage. (My old orthostatic hypotension would make me lose my vision.. and one time, my hearing) I've also had a CT to check for tumors.. and that's all clear.

At least I knew it wasn't real right? I think the only reason it took me time to realize it was because I was half asleep at the time. Once I became conscious of it I realized how ridiculous it was.. but I just went with it anyway. Plus it occurred with meds instead of without..

What I do know is many people with psychiatric illness also experience epilepsy and migraines - not surprising, given that Bipolar, Schizophrenia and other mental illnesses are neurological disorders. The other interesting thing is that relatives of those with full-blown mental illness often experience migraines and irritable bowel syndrome. They don't experience mental illness, yet anticonvulsants sort out their migraines, and anti-depressants alleviate their irritable bowel syndrome.

That's interesting. My little sister is being treated for Schizophrenia; she hears voices & may or may not see people. I've had migraines and IBS since forever, but it has been better whenever I've received treatment for depression. I've never heard of that link before.

It's normal. Your eyeballs do not stay precisely in the same position even when staring. As they move, just a little bit, the image comes away from parts of the retina that have been oversaturated from the color and into new areas, then back again.

Thanks for the explanation! I always thought it was fine, but I never understood it.

Jack up the blood pressure enough and weaker blood vessels can press against parts of the brain. The results all depend on the location and extent.

Hmm.. good point. If it happens again, I'll try to manage to take my bp.

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any kind of seizure activity can kindle. That's where the kindle model was first used. If reading over that list of possible symptoms you think it sound feasible, it would be a good idea to bring it up with your pdoc and/or see about consulting with with a neurologist. Those are not the kind of symptoms that it's a good idea to ignore.

The big three temporal lobe affecting anti-convulsants, trileptal, tegrotal and topamax, are all used as mood stabilizers and can help with anxiety as well. It may turn out that this is the missing puzzle piece that helps fix your mood problems. While I was initialy given it for recurrent depression, topamax has helped me with a kinds of bizzare and seemingly unrelated little things.

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any kind of seizure activity can kindle. That's where the kindle model was first used. If reading over that list of possible symptoms you think it sound feasible, it would be a good idea to bring it up with your pdoc and/or see about consulting with with a neurologist. Those are not the kind of symptoms that it's a good idea to ignore.

The big three temporal lobe affecting anti-convulsants, trileptal, tegrotal and topamax, are all used as mood stabilizers and can help with anxiety as well. It may turn out that this is the missing puzzle piece that helps fix your mood problems. While I was initialy given it for recurrent depression, topamax has helped me with a kinds of bizzare and seemingly unrelated little things.

Well, I have had a couple that are listed. However they're not the more serious or concrete ones. Just the general perceptive stuff, which can be otherwise explained. It's only a possibility that it's all caused by the temporal lobe - and they're all under the "Symptoms Not Necessarily Requiring Treatment & Controversial." The only thing that makes me worry, is what I talked about here.. and so far, it's not recurrent.

It's a great relief that the first reaction of everyone is to think of it as a physical and not mental problem.

If it becomes an issue I will definitely mention it & make a point to get one of those meds. I already believe I need to try the other mood stabilizers anyway..

I really appreciate your input on the matter, however.

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