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Do any of you go into psychosis when you get sick?


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As soon as I go into deep depression I hit hypermania as well and this results in me being very depressed by I can not settle down, sleep, watch tv or cosentrate on anything. I then start getting anxious as I know something is wrong but before I was diagnosed I had no clue what the hell was happening to me... this results in my brain going crazy and I enter pshycosis and I see people looking and walking funny.... I dont go running through the streets naked so no one else suspects or know that I am in actual fact crazy!

What I really want to know is: "Am I the only person that goes crazy when I get very sick?"

I feel so ashamed and I promised myself that I am taking care of myself and that it will NOT happen again... ;)

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I think we all can get pretty miserable when our moods start swinging.

Have you told your pdoc exactly how you feel and what sort of visual oddities you are seeing?

Do you have a talk therapist that you see regularly? It can be very helpful to have someone to talk through the rough spots.

a.m.

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There have been times when I was rather manic that I have had both auditory hallucinations and visual hallucinations. Now, I am not a pdoc, but I was told that officially made me psychotic.

The auditory hallucinations were not so bad, just some hillbillys rambling on in my head...like you I could sort of hide that. The visual hallucinations were what made me see my pdoc immediately. I was seeing my bipolar cousin who had died some thirty years before. It was really quite creepy.

I agree with A.M. you should talk to someone about this.

Castor

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I agree with A.M. you should talk to someone about this.

Castor

I am seeing my pdoc on a regular basis and she told me that I only get pshycotic when I am not taking any meds and are not taking care of myself - I was only diagnosed last year. She told me I have to get over it and forgive myself BUT it is very hard for me to accept the fact that it happened to me...I feel very dissapointed in myself...a little like a failure to myself and my folks.

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I am seeing my pdoc on a regular basis and she told me that I only get pshycotic when I am not taking any meds and are not taking care of myself - I was only diagnosed last year. She told me I have to get over it and forgive myself BUT it is very hard for me to accept the fact that it happened to me...I feel very dissapointed in myself...a little like a failure to myself and my folks.

It is hard to accept. I understand that very well; I had the hardest time dealing with the fact that there were voices in my head. Eventually, I realized that there was something screwed up in the wiring up there and that I had no control over it.

By the by...I was fully compliant with my meds when I was in psychosis. As I am still learning, sometimes the crazy breaks through the drugs.

You are not alone, many of us have had similar situations. It may sound cheesy, but I suggest you make the most of that situation. Take something positive away from it...perhaps you learned something, or you can write about it. There is something positive in your situation, you just need to find it and hold onto it.

In the words of former Chicago Bears player and coach Mike Ditka:

Success isn't permanent, and failure isn't fatal.

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What I really want to know is: "Am I the only person that goes crazy when I get very sick?"

No. I start hearing things that aren't there when I go into hypomania, and I am also BPII. I would tell your pdoc what's happening. You may need to have your meds tweaked to eliminate the psychosis. Or like others have said, sometimes the crazy just breaks through. I have been fully compliant with my prescribed meds in every instance of auditory hallucination that I've had.

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That happens to me.

I think everyone with illnesses that are chronic and have those effects has to get some practice in dealing with it, it's a tall order. Many of us CBer's have been through phases of not being on the meds we later decided we needed. It doesn't make you a horrible unforgivable person.

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By the by...I was fully compliant with my meds when I was in psychosis. As I am still learning, sometimes the crazy breaks through the drugs.

The only thing that kept me going after my breakdown was thinking that if I take my medication, look after myself (looking out for triggers and eating right etc.) then I will NOT HAVE ANOTHER great big breakdown followed by pshycosis.

You gave me the worst news ever but I am grateful to you because I was going to live under a lie and maybe it "the pshycosis" would have sneaked up from behind again!

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Sounds like you do mixed episodes like me. Horrible. Except I went in to them the other way round - hypo, then manic then snap! Deep depression, energy, rage, very distorted thinking. All in all a very scary place, with hindsight and an understanding of this illness.

Stay on the meds, talk to your pdoc and stay well.

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The only thing that kept me going after my breakdown was thinking that if I take my medication, look after myself (looking out for triggers and eating right etc.) then I will NOT HAVE ANOTHER great big breakdown followed by pshycosis.

You gave me the worst news ever but I am grateful to you because I was going to live under a lie and maybe it "the pshycosis" would have sneaked up from behind again!

I can tell you this, and I do not want you to be discouraged by it, I just hope you can take something positive from it: It has taken me years to figure out exactly what you are saying above. I was/am always shocked when I cycled badly (either up or down...oh by the way I am BP I). Just very recently I got it through my thick head that I am going to have to accept this and deal with it.

On the positive side, I am now more open to suggestions from people in group and I am a little more comfortable with my life. As I mentioned before, finding the positive really can help. Damn it's cheesy, but it's true.

Hey, if everything goes well you never experience psychosis again but who knows? Not me, that is for sure.

Take care,

Castor

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I don't think it's so odd. My mixed episodes are the worse. It's odd, the epsiode inhibits sleep and the lack of sleep facilitates and episode. Not to mention the physiological problems I get from lack of sleep, like migraines and nausea.

I think it's when I'm in my mixed episodes I'm more likely to get mood-congruent delusions and hallucinations. I often see things running across the floor that are not there, or I will read a book and the words say something like "Hi Fat Cow" but after reading it again it says "See Spot Run". I definately spend too much time re-reading things.

My pdoc said he didn't think I was psychotic, but a part of wonders if he wrote than in my chart anyway. LOL!

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I'm not a pdoc of course, but it does sound like BP1. I don't think it is the end of life as you know it.

Actually, BP and the psychosis are very treatable. There will be relapses, there are usually relapses for everyone at some points, but for the most part you can live symptom-free for long periods of time with the right medication combination.

This may sound very, very weird, but BP has actually ENRICHED my life in that I have been to the heights and depths of human experience and come out on top. I'm probably a BP1 but haven't been DXed officially with it yet. I guess I'm not crazy enough ;)

Look at the bright side. You are a fuller, more vibrant person. It sounds weird, I know, but a lot of CBers will understand. Some won't agree. We're all different and have different reactions and experiences with our disorders.

Get on meds, and the right ones. It is so important. There is the "kindling" effect, and that is when your brain actually gets damaged by your disorder and your episodes get worse as time progresses and you have more and more episodes. Don't let your brain get worse. Get some medication!

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