Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

My Vamp, Lesbian GF...


Recommended Posts

Ok, I met my current GF in a Psychward. She has basically been a full-blown lesbian for the last 9 years. Well, she broke up with her GF of 4 years to be with me.

There is so much drama and lots of girl on girl craziness. Normally a guy wouldn't complain. This situation is driving me nuts. Because, I feel a deep love for this woman. Anyway, she cut her arm yesterday, like, really deep. I've always had a weird fetish for blood but, this does worry me. She is 23 and I'm 26. Just so ya have an idea. She is lashing out because, her father is angry that I'm around while her ex is crying and freaking out constantly.

Now, I feel lobsided about this whole situation. Her Father yells at me. Her ex wants to kill me. And now, starting yesterday. I haven't even seen my baby! She is the only person I have right now. So, the weight is so unbearable. I realise things have been moving fast but, that's the way I am. If I see what I want, I go for it. "Being Assertive" as they say. lol

I'm becoming extremely wary about this whole thing. I am basically waiting for her to call me today so, I can come to a conclusion about our relationship. I would fight for our love, just hope she's willing to.

I gave her full permission to be with women. She just has to tell me, and it can't be her ex. I think that would just make things even more irratic.

Times are definately different.

One Love,

MC

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I see a lot of facets to your post, some of which I am picking out below. I'd like to say that I am a bisexual woman, I have friends with a blood fetish, and I also socialize with poly-amorous couples, so I am not sitting in judgement in any way. But:

- Has your girlfriend self harmed before? Do you know her well enough that you can trust her answer on this? Self harm can effect a relationship a number of ways, and it's really worth thinking through how you feel about self harm before starting a relationship, and negotiating the boundaries about how you feel handling episodes where she might cut. An example being, I have had partners who have been very upset when I have cut, and we have had to talk about why I cut and I have asked them not to make me promise to stop, but I have sought help to stop. Can you tolerate her cutting? Your post is ambiguous on this issue.

- How is your fetish going to play into this self harm issue? Where does sex play begin and end? Can you square this with her self harm habit, or do you think that her cutting for your sexual pleasure is yet another expression of self harm which you or she feels is unhealthy?

- You say that you go after what you want, you are deeply attached and she is all you have. Are you prepared to have a relationship on this basis? It sounds more like dependence and possession than it does co existence, that is just my humble opinion. I have found my relationships go better if they are one part of my life, and not the focus of my existence.

- You also say that you met her on a psych ward, she has family issues, a dramatic ex, and she has made a choice that goes against her sexual orientation to be with you. Needless to say, she is in a very precarious stressful place, which will exacerbate mental health issues. Expecting her to respond to ultimatums is a little harsh, in my view.

I would proceed with extreme caution.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yeah, I agree. BTW, she doesn't cut herself for my sexual pleasures. And she has cut herself multiple times in the past. I didn't realise what I was getting into when this started out. Now that I'm here, I have to do what I can to keep some sanity. For both her and I.

I just spoke to her a bit ago. Things are fine. Well, or so they seem. She claims to be in love with me fully. I have to believe her.

I am a vamp/bisexual as well. I will not allow her to cut herself for me. I care about her too much. Usually, that sort of thing would be with someone I don't have a huge connection to. Which isn't very safe to begin with. I don't allow myself to bleed anymore. So, this vamp/vamp relationship kinda sucks on that level. My blood is tainted with hep c. Not sure if I got that from shooting dope or blood binding. 95% of my partners are always tested. I guess that's not a good enough ratio.

Anyway, she's on her way here to learn some guitar. I'm trying to teach her how to jam with me. :)

Thanks for your responces. I am a very moral man. So, please, dont jump to conclusions without first asking me. ;)

one Love,

MC

Link to comment
Share on other sites

MC,

Nothing in your post suggesting immorality to me, and it is not my place to make moral judgements about your life.

I am glad that you are keeping your fetish and her self harm separate and I think that not having her cut during sexual encounters will be a helpful thing, because often self harmers have identified 'innocent' ways to self harm, such as gardening prickly plants etc in order to self harm without having the stigma or hassle later from people. I suspect that is what blood letting may turn into that for her.

I am sorry to hear about the Hep C infection. We all make mistakes, I have taken risks sexually in terms of sexual health and it is sheer luck and now changing my ways that has kept me safe, you wouldn't be the only one on CB to contract an STD. I hope that it doesn't affect your life too much, and that your liver stays healthy.

Continue to post here as and when you need support in dealing with this new relationship. May it flourish. I think it's great that you are teaching her the guitar.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, Hep C isn't usually contracted through sex. It is a blood virus. One of my ex's that I lived with on the streets was a prostitute. Stupidly, I shared needles with her. Only her. Obviously, that was a dumb choice. Didn't much care to live in those days. So, yeah.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Things are strange but, seem to be balanced out well. In a weird, weird way. lol I love her, it's undeniable and uncontrollable. So, hopefully, I will just keep this gaurd I have till I'm totally sure that everything is gonna work out. She does a better job at being a GF then anyone I can even remember, lol. She gives me sooooo much attention. I'm so not used to that.

It feels good being her little man-slave too (as she calls me). First time in my life that I've had a lover into all the freaky shit I am. ;)

Thanks for letting me vent, friends!

I will update ya more when things get crazier. I'm staying at her house tonight so, I'm sure I'll have a bunch to say tomorrow.

Hopefully, all good stuff.

One Love,

Mentalcase

Ohhh and btw...

She finally admitted to me that she DOES sleep with her ex GF. I can't seem to be affected very much by it. Other then it being immature, considering they broke up. Now they see each other twice a week and have sex. I wonder, if her ex hates me so much, then why would she go down on her when I've been inside her hours before? lol

*Shakes Head*

What have I gotten myself into??

lolz

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...