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Ah!... The bitter sweet taste of cloneazepam and seroquel. Do your best my orange and yellow friends. Battle those demons inside my head. Try and stabilize the battlefield please. I have just taken 2mg cloneazepam with a chaser of 200 mg seroquel. Here I sit with the the soothing blue hue of crazyboards staring back at me from my computer screen, so I'll write:

I've just called in sick for the 5th time this month, unable to face the what the day might bring. I am a panic\anxiety\depression sufferer. How bad is it you ask? I drive for a living, public transit, When I leave my house for work, I've had to resort to wearing an adult diaper and plastic pants (just like a baby) for fear of soiling myself because some days my anxiety can almost cause me

to lose control of my bowels and I do not have easy access to a bathroom. I am a IBS sufferer you see. There is a great deal of debate whether this is a mental or physical problem. My family doctors says it is my body's way of dealing with mental illness. Create a physical illness. He says my anxiety levels are so high sometimes my nerves manifest themselves in this fashion.

It's weird, this weekend I became obsesed with downloading a song by the 70's duo the carpenters, I usually listen to hard rock but this song became stuck in my brain. I was desperate to hear it and was playing around with limewire and thank god I found it. I watched the thing download for 6 minutes, all the time my anxiety was building. press play and 5 or 6 listens later and I was OK.

Time to stop the emptying of my thoughts from head to screen. Turn off the tap please. Meds kicking in.

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