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2 years of long-distance relationship


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not really sure about appropriateness so ;) below is about sex life. warning done.

my partner and I are very committed. I trust him with more than my life. Unfortunatley due to my MI emergency and the demands of school, we've been hundreds of miles apart for the past two years. 2 week vacations and weekends mean being together a mere 4 times per year. Before a long weekend visit this summer i initiated phone sex....Didn't think he'd be for it but we've done it like 3 times since with equal instigation. I got over it being "dirty" before even starting, but now i'm wondering if it is kinda cheap.

what do you do wanting to be closer to someone and the ways they turn you on, but you are kinda the one doing it?

like other sex, what rules should phone sex have?

wanting to mastrubate vs wanting a bit more intimacy than general conversation?

i guess in my meandering i'm trying to come up with a conclusion for myself if this could progress to a point that is unhealthy for me, him, or us. Somehow us talking about our phone sex is weirdly difficult. I mean the phone sex has been a good thing, but i'm suspecious as always. Just wondering if anyone might have experience or opinions on this or similar matters?

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What are your fears about phone sex?

I don't see how phone sex could be unhealthy, unless it is all you do all day to the exclusion of everything else, or one of you is saying things that makes the other uncomfortable, or you run up massive phone bills. So long as it is consensual, and you both feel okay about doing it and not secretly ashamed afterwards, then it is really okay. It tends to feel taboo because it usually combines masturbation and talking about sex, two things people, particularly women, are often socialized not to do. But there is nothing bad or shameful or wrong about telling a partner over the telephone what you'd like to do sexually with them, or touching yourself, JMO.

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Dear UserNameTaken,

I don't see anything wrong with it unless it becomes the focus of your relationship. Sex is just a balanced part of any relationship. I think intimacy (not sex) can also be achieved by talking regularly about what is going on in our lives, expressing our feelings, and gaining support from each other. This also needs to be balanced with other friendships. Don't forget humor and try to make a lot of your phone conversations fun. Talk about fun times in the past and fun anticipation in the future.

You say phone sex feels weird. Maybe you two can have a conversation about it and decide together whether or not you will continue. It doesn't matter what other people think, only what you two

are comfortable with. (bad English) By the way, I've done it and would do it again in a committed relationship under the right circumstances. Relax.

Sincerely,

SunshineOutside

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There's really nothing wrong with it. Unless of course you stop eating, ingesting water, stop taking your meds, stop paying all your bills to the exclusion of the phone bill...I think you get the point here. And this is coming from someone whose boyfriend lives approx. 1800 miles away and she's working out her schedule for a week long visit.

I type from experience.

;)

naughtymaddy.

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I was in one of those long distant relationships. It is very difficult. Phone sex is better then just dropping the whole thing, ain't it? You have to get off, this is essentially why we get together anyway... To mate.

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I'll join the club of having had phone sex:) It's what got me through a four month long distance time with my partner. I think as long as it doesn't become the focus of your relationship and exclude other basic intimacies it can be a good thing. Physical intimacy is a part of a healthy relationship, and if you can't have actual contact you have to settle for the next best thing.

It would be good to discuss this, and make sure you're both comfortable. It can be an akward conversation, but should relieve some of your feelings of guilt. IMO there is nothing wrong with either talking about sex or masturbation. Both can be very helpful.

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Thanks all for your solid support for the phone sex.

It's definately making the best of the distance situation. In the Fall i'm probably moving closer! but if that plan does fall through, its just going to be a lot of phone sex and cell phone photography, and not developing more in-person intimacy. I believe that last one is the only thing that's weirding me out. seems like the post came off way more weirded out than i actually am. Though glad to hear you all have done it.

Woot-for hands free heaadsets!

Bummers-for love making at cellphone-service-in-europe rates. damn it

any airlines still do standby flying for i dunno wednesday?

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