Grieving and depression

[mrsloony]

Iam am grieving the death of a close family member. When I feel that awful pit in my stomach it feels just like when I get depressed. How do you distinguish between grievng and depression?

[Cetkat]

With grieving; I focus on the person, I'm sad and feel that something important has been ripped away. There are also brief moments of feeling ok, followed by feelings of guilt for feeling that way.

With depression; I'm focused on myself and my life, feel a variety of things, and only get reprieves when I put it out of my mind by doing something else.

Otherwise.. it's just alot of sadness and despair.. the same pain for different reasons.

[Karolina]

Depression is a normal stage of the grieving process so they are sort of intertwined. If it lasts longer than a few months or doesn't get better though, it may be a depressive episode, triggered by the death -- but it's still depression at that point.

[zenbean]

I think Cetkat's description is very true and eloquent. I'm having some (long) moments of depression too, but keep telling myself it's normal and OK at this point, just gotta ride it out. And as she says, it's interspersed with other feelings, including occasionally feeling all right (in my case, my mom was sick for a long time, and sometimes all I'm feeling is relief - that she's not suffering anymore, and that I don't have to be running to the hospital every night or dreading every time the phone rings). I would suggest to give yourself time and space to feel what you're feeling - like Scatty's icon says, the only way out is through - but if you get completely overwhelmed, or feel as if you're going to hurt yourself, by all means get some help. (And, like Karolina says, it's not out of the question that grief could trigger a bout of depression.) I'm sorry, I know this is a complicated reply, but this is complicated stuff. Wishing you peace, Mrs.