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Reacurring Nightmares


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For the last 8 months. I have been sober. Well, off heroin and cocain at least. I still smoke a bit of pot everyday and sometimes drink a few beers.

Ok..

Now, I have this reacurring Nightmare..

Everytime I go to sleep I wake up where this dream left off. The best part about it is, It's a dream about being locked up in prison. I have been in prison before but, not the one in my dreams. This has been happening for the last 8 months. I ALWAYS realise I'm dreaming when I'm there. I feel as lucid as I do now actually, in those dreams. So, it is very strange for me when I'm sleeping. I'm also on trazadone for insomnia so, it's very hard to wake up from these dreams.

Lately, I have been having a new reacurring nightmare. It consists of trying to save my friends and my lovers from "shadow people". These shadow people basically, take your soul and your body just falls apart. Very, very vividly.

Why can't a get a fucking break from termoil and sadness. I'm constantly on gaurd in RL and in my dreams. Very, very occasionally do I have a "good dream". Like a sexual dream or so. Trust me, it rarely happens. I have even tried various techniques. Like; sleeping in different positions, meditating before I sleep (usually trying to focus on a positive aspect), etc.

Now, I have been living under very unstable living conditions for the last 7 years.

Being homeless and pimping out my ex GF, who is 13 years older then me. She got me into heroin and I was so sick that, at one point, I was even holding up homeless signs in Chicago. Sleeping in gangways and alleys. Being arrested all the time for peddling and solicitation.

So, I'm sure these are some of the reasons I have bad dreams. I've been through alot of bad shit.

Perhaps this is a form of PTSD?

Suggestions, comments?

MC

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You already know that your mind is bent and not running on all cylinders. It doesn't make sense to add non-rx substances that affect its functioning.

Pot is a psychoactive substance that can cause paranioa and other bad effects. Try cutting down and eliminating it.

Take it a little bit at a time.

best, a.m.

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Hey MC

Thought i'd reply on the topic of vivid dreams. i don't know if its a function of the MI or the treatment, but every 3 months since my original incident, the vividness of my dreams steps up a notch. It's kinad creepy. like feeling the cold reaching for brightly advertised frozen dinner at the grocery store. breathing and seeing underwater. feeling the bite/hickie mark from a premordial eel. a profound sense of time, smell. reading people, reading pages of books. skiing, those ones are fucking awesome. the maundane ones are worse cause i'm always left with this doubt whether i properly placed it in waking life or just a dream.

as for nightmares. it's like our mind plays out its worst fears as some f'ed up mechanism for dealing with and avoiding a situation in the future. occasionally i get these nightmares were i can't move, i'm catatonic again, but i know i'm not crazy, everything is logical, but my cognition is all scatterred and obscurred and i can't respond to family or friends. nightmares are the only reason i ever processed the tinge of violation i felt having been raped. pdoc called that dream PTSD. you have got a lot going on in your head. dreams are a method of processing, when the head is busy, so are the dreams. take what you can from them. guess they don't help with the insomnia tho niether. good luck with the meds

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