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Hi. I'm a thread. I don't want to exist now.


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Guest amybeth

Mimi,

Get on a plane and come live with me NOW!!  I need 24hr protection anyway. lol

Girl, keep getting out your frustration by posting.  Your mom is obviously a pretty depressed person.  And sadly she is taking all of you with her sister.  As a parent, I wish so badly she wouldn't do that to you Mimi.

Amy

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Mimi,

I have to agree that you are not going to get better until you can get out of that squalor. I hope you can work out a plan with your tdoc to get you out ASAP so you can start working on improving your health.

Erika

*edited so post would make sense

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I'm going to start another parent rant thread. I need to until some way is devised between tdoc and myself to get me the hell out of here. I'm not going to get better here.

So, I'm going to post the pictures that I dream of sending to the DHS someday when I move out, as I take new ones. I can't believe my parents are complacent with this. Especially when THEIR bedroom smells like shit and is full of it (literally, under the bed). Of course, my dad is bothered, but he's a doormat that rarely stands up for anything, because he's afraid to make waves.

Here's the gallery! Enjoy! Or not.

*got images onto a different host, fixed link*

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

WOW! It's amazing you found the computer. I hope you can get some help soon. Debbie Jo

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi almighty llama,

this is exactly how I picture my SO living if I weren't around.

question: your dad, is he physically unable to do any housework?  maybe you and he could spend 20 minutes a day cleaning together?  just work on one room at a time, and don't rush.

just a suggestion -take it or leave it, I don't konw anything about your Dad's or your ability at the moment.  It isn't fair, it isn't right, but it might keep you from going nuts in that house.

shoot I say just start throwing stuff away if you have to. I would.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm going to start another parent rant thread. I need to until some way is devised between tdoc and myself to get me the hell out of here. I'm not going to get better here.

So, I'm going to post the pictures that I dream of sending to the DHS someday when I move out, as I take new ones. I can't believe my parents are complacent with this. Especially when THEIR bedroom smells like shit and is full of it (literally, under the bed). Of course, my dad is bothered, but he's a doormat that rarely stands up for anything, because he's afraid to make waves.

I'm sorry to say that my living arrangements were similar while I was growing up.  My mother is bipolar I with psychotic episodes (and delightful hypersexuality), and my father is deeply depressed and a WWII refugee with PTSD.  My mother has never allowed him to get help, because she would lose her punching bag.  Of course she herself has never needed any kind of help, right?  Instead she berated both of us and made us feel like ungrateful, pathetic, wretched and sinful beasts, just to get herself off and feel better about herself.  She had NO interest in cleaning house (much more fun to party party party!!  Or rage and spew bile and accuse everyone of plotting against her).  My dad would block out the horrifying state of the house and just watch Dr. Who or Blake's Seven until he fell asleep.  He and I were never allowed to have any sort of normal relationship.  My mother actually accused us of having an affair once.  Repulsive and rather funny, since it was by the grace of her religious fundamentalism that she never tried to screw me.

Pizza boxes, animal waste (mostly hairballs), unpacked moving boxes, twelve layers of dust, papers EVERYWHERE-- strewn all over every available surface and all over the floor, because my mother never though anything away including junk mail, and was always pursuing another get rich quick scheme.  These schemes always involved hundreds, if not thousands of dollars, and of course my mom would buy all the materials, then like the true unmedicated bipolar she is, drop the entire project.  But none of it got thrown away.  She could never admit that she flaked out on anything.

When I moved out, my room became the receptacle of all the junk my mother didn't want to deal with.  Picture frames, books (of the Chicken Soup or Financial Guru variety, mostly), old clothes, new clothes, broken electronics, used water bottles, random broken furniture, boxes of old Mary Kay cosmetics from her breif interlude as a sales rep (although she never sold anything), and of course, layers of mailings and papers over everything about 3 to 4 inches deep.

Long rant.  Lots of old anger.  It's okay.  I don't live with them, I owe them nothing.  Let them clean up their own f*cking mess.

Julie

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I feel for you.  I also grew up in a house that was filled with clutter and newspapers, where eventually you couldn't even see the floors and there were just little pathways through the piles of stuff.  It got lots worse after my father and grandmother that lived with us died, when I was 11 and 12, respectively.  But I know all about never having any friends over, and then in high school never actually even telling people where you lived because it was too embarassing.  Two of my four brothers still choose to live like that on their own; we now range in age from 46 to 57.  My other two brothers are married, or they would probably be the same way.  I seem to be the only one who likes to live in a relatively normal house.

The only solution I found was to move out as soon as I graduated from high school, and then I would visit my mom, but I would take her out to eat, or to go visit one of my brothers or something.  The goal was to not spend any time at the house because it was so disturbing to me, plus, there was never anywhere to sit as all the chairs always had huge piles of stuff in them.

Some of my brothers and I made several attempts to clean it up over the years, but it always felt like trying to empty out the ocean with a bucket.  If you have your own room, maybe you can at least get a little order and sanity there.  It's an awful thing to live with, though, and I always hated it, and although I seemed able to conquer lots of other obstacles, that was one that I never was able to solve.  I hope you don't have to stay too much longer, or at least can mark off a little territory for your own.   

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  • 3 weeks later...

I couldn't see the photos, but the descriptions people have given basically have described my father-in-law's house.  He can no longer live there because it has no utilities and he is too ashamed to call people in to have things fixed or turned back on. 

He does has three poor forlorn dogs that he basically neglects emotionally...just pours food in a bin every couple of days.  They have to live in garbage.  Breaks my heart...we want to take at least one of the dogs, but have to get things fixed our home before we can do so. 

We're hoping to clean the place up soon....a friend of my wife's is coming to live with us and I think together they are going to take the place on, but it's a huge job. Thankfully, since my father-in-law no longer lives in the house they can work without him resisting them or getting angry.  I've considered calling one of those talk shows and pleading our case, but it would enrage my father-in-law and probably cause him to have a major health episode [he's had a stroke and a couple of heart attacks already] not to mention it would cause a major rift in my relationship with him as well as in my relationship with my wife.

My wife was always the only person in her family that did any kind of cleaning at all.  She says she always kept her room immaculate because she felt like it was the only thing she could control in a chaotic environment.  She still finds cleaning theraputic...you can clear your head and not think about anything other than the task in front of you.

I don't know what your situation is but you might consult a professional organizer or declutterer.  A lot of them are accustomed to working in homes where someone has hoarding disorder.  Best of luck to you.

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