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I've been on the go, every single morning till the late afternoon. Walking around applying for jobs. I have nowhere to live if I don't land a job soon. It is driving me nuts. It's been the only real depressing thing on my plate right now. Well, the only thing I'm really concentrating on.

Now, I have a insane amount of social anxiety. Lately, I have been able to be at one with this. I feel sexier, more intelligent, etc. My GF has been pumping me up with confidence. I am afraid that when I start a job, if I get lucky enough to find one, that I'll start freaking out eventually. I'm not gonna fool myself into thinking I have a hold on this anxiety thing. Truth is, it controls the fuck out of me.

I really want a decent job and not one at a resturant or gas station, even though I have been applying at these places. I'd rather be in a place with less people to deal with. Otherwise, I may have an episode.

I never list any of my MI on my apps. Does anyone think I should? Because, I seriously doubt that will help. lol

I haven't had a "real" job in years. I'm so not used to being a "worker bee" or an "ant". When I walk into these places I have a ton of confidence, that I'm not used to having either. Strange times for this Mentalcase. All these new emotions and concepts flooding my soul. My brain has been racing. I don't have the patience to fill the apps out at the place. Besides, I never remember what bullshit to put on them.

I called my mother and she helped me come up with a fake job history, lol. So at least now, I can feel a bit more confident about getting the job. Before, I was just putting in random things I could remember from my past.

I just really hope I get a job soon. My GF has been busting my balls about it. So, I really want to prove to her that I love her and that I'm ready to move in with her and split rent. I really have no other options. I REALLY don't want to go back to a psych-ward because, I have nowhere to live. So, yeah, this has been fucking with me hardcore. I'm staying at my sister's right now. Even she wants me out ASAP. She bugs me about it frequently. I have all this depression in my soul that I try to balance out.

Then when I'm feeling shitty like that, my Girl magically makes me feel better, one way or another. She always boosts my self-estem. I realise that I shouldn't depend on her for happiness, it's unhealthy. But, it's the only place any positive, optimistic feelings are coming from.

So, I dig deep.


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I used to do a lot of "temping" in my early 20's and it was pretty ok work for me at the time. I was really unstable at the time, I could choose which job to take although I had to take a minimum of so many jobs within a certain time frame at some agencies and the pay on some jobs was outrageously good.

Plus if you're a total flake they kind of write it off as "well, you know he/she was just a temp!"

And later on you can always write it down on your resume as gaining access to a variety of skills.

(like how to avoid people in the workplace, how to become the cubicle hermit, etc...)

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some places actually check references and some don't, so you're risking stuff by coming up wtih a fake job history. but i can't say i haven't edited my job history for the best effect when writing resumes. you need to take what you have, think of the best possible title for it, and arrange them in such an order that it looks like you have progressive responsibility. write "annotated work experience" instead of the regular "work experience" on your resume, so that way you have every ethical right to expound upon your very best!

do you have a degree in anything? degrees open doors, of course. if you don't have one, consider going to school (being a student is cool!), and get that degree. you'll have alumni associations, career centers, career fairs, and all kinds of other resources to help you.

oh yeah, have you considered your area's job search resourcees? my state has a job board specifically for unemployed people. how about job fairs? those are places where you can hit a lot of them at once.

as for "real" jobs, think quality over quantity. don't just go and apply for everything, apply only for what you can mold your resume to make you seem really qualified for (i'm NOT saying lie, i'm saying to put your real info in the best light) so the employer knows you are really into that position and not just someone applying for everything. make sure they know you think that company and that position are special. that's really the key.

i'm the total queen of finding jobs. it takes me usually around a week to find a new professional job. the tech industry is down in my area, and i still find the jobs with no problem while others are u nemployed. those are my secrets, if you will. my best secret is quality over quantity. also have awesome references. make sure those references are people who can speak specifically about you and are impressed by something specific about you that happens to be something you are emphasizing in your resume.

best of luck,


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Fake job histories are BAD. Friends posing as employers? Asking for trouble. (they can do that and can't spare a couch? hmph)

What you do, if you're going to walk in off the street and fill out an app, is carry your job history with you. I work for the state, and usually apply for state jobs. I have my app all saved up on the computer, I just change the front page and print. If I apply for other jobs? Cut and paste. Simple.

It's good that you're not being picky right now--some income is better than none. Hell, my job, they recently hired an 18 year old to do a similar position, same quals as mine etc.. And here I sit, 13 years older with way more experience and a damn degree I'm still paying for.

Which isn't really so bad when you consider that the lady who got hired with me used to work for my mom, has like 20-25 years in state government...she should at least be making 175% of what she is. And shit, she drives 90 miles one way to get to work. Insane. Must be for the benefits...

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