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  Been grandfathering grandson, now 22 and due for prison any 'ole time.  Been with us maybe 8 years, got worse, now I have restraining order against him but wife keeps enabling.  Restraining order doesn't include her.  I'll just let him continue to screw up and I'll get on with what I want to do.  I just try to keep him out of my mind; it frees me up a bit. Any others with similiar experiences?  (I hope not.)  Tough love best - just let them go and fuck up all they want. No bailouts, no money, no sympathy, no advice.

I stopped taking 2 antidepressants gradually and sex performance much better.  How can a med be called an antidepressant when it kills libido?    I'd appreciate thoughts, comments about any of the above or anything else for that matter. I don't understand how to enter a chat room.  Someone help me?

    I met a grandmother who's grandson is giving her way too much grief.  I hope to meet the kid, 14, and let him have it. He's under SRS but they keep brushing her off when she calls them.  i suggested to her she just bug them until they're sick of hearing from her and take the kid away.  She's torn and he's being a prick.  He's a druggie, that's consuming his life so he doesn't give a damn for anything but the next fix.  I am wrong in doing what I want to do? Not hurt the kid, just tell him what an asshole he is; shock the hell out of him.    Thanks, Bevy

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I stopped taking 2 antidepressants gradually and sex performance much better.  How can a med be called an antidepressant when it kills libido?

Reduction of desire to kill oneself, reduction of ruminations regarding every mistake one has ever, ever made...

I don't understand how to enter a chat room.  Someone help me?
See the "Technology sucks" board for details.

He's a druggie, that's consuming his life so he doesn't give a damn for anything but the next fix.  I am wrong in doing what I want to do? Not hurt the kid, just tell him what an asshole he is; shock the hell out of him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

If he truly does not give a damn about anything except his next fix, then odds are he won't give a damn about some guy telling him he's an asshole, either.

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Sounds like it would have been helpful to get your grandson earlier in life, huh?  I know a couple of grandma's through NAMI who are doing an amazing job "parenting" their mentally interesting grandchildren (of MI children).  But they are younger kiddoes and I think that getting a teen would be really tough.  Is your grandson getting mental health services?

I am wrong in doing what I want to do? Not hurt the kid, just tell him what an asshole he is; shock the hell out of him.

If you're trying to HELP him, that's not wrong.  It doesn't sound like a very effective approach though, as SOOL pointed out.  Maybe he could use an adult around who'd like to do things with him - things he likes to do that don't involve bad habits.

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Guest Guest_stipple_*

When our oldest daughter was a run away we joined a group of parents & guardians with kids going thru kid crap.It helped even though we were the only parents with a kid that was gone.

lots of the people were going thru the tuff love/soft love thing about kids stealing,

you name it, but there were some answers we never would have come with.i think kids remain being kids longer now because the world is aimed at them.Some 30 year olds act 15 or 5 now who knows when it's time to let them figure it out on thier own and they sure don't take any advice from us till it's too late,then we feel like its our fault.

Well you aren't alone in this .

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Thank you StrunOutOnLife, Gretl, and Guest_stipple. Guess I hit the correct key so you all will get this. About grandson; wife keeps enabling and the onlly way I can survive is to let her do her thing; she'll do it regardless.  I just don't think about it.  Now grandson is bothering his uncle, my other son, who gets "down" because grandson who is slick and knows well how to push bottons gets under his skin because he was fired from his 5th out of last 5 jobs and is asking for money.  Grandson has court apparances pending but yet may continue to slip through the cracks because the court is so behind with its case load. This case backload is not of the court's making; they are inundated with "nardowells". Court is having trouble finding public defender; not enough lawyers, too many trouble makers.

    So thank you all for your thoughts.  We all must march forward (sounds good) and do our thing and let others do what they must.  I'm going to try to get to "Technology Sucks" (which is does, although I like it) and try to get into the chat room and hopefully you'll be there.  Best to all, Bevy.

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I have a son who will be 25 in 2 mos that  has done the prison thing and is now having issues with the parole thing. This last episode 3 mos ago landed him in a parole violation center and is supposed to be coming home this week. He didn't see his PO for 4 mos because he was smoking pot. He was doing so good though working and everything. I am the reason he got picked up. I gave them his address. I had finally reached my limit. Plus I wouldn't send money. Put that kid into shock.

When he gets out he has some serious rules to abide by. I told him when he gets off parole and can live on his own, he can do whatever the hell he wants. I'm also going to tell him he has to be evaluated for MI.

Now I love the hell out of my kids. That is probably why he is the way he is. I have enabnled him. I am his only parent, dad is deceased, and I have always felt guilty. But I have been in therapy so hopefully it will help. Sometimes you have to let them make their own mistakes.

I wish you and your wife the best through this. I know how painful it is.

Sondra

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