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Hi everyone,

This is my first post here and i am due to see a psychiatrist very soon. I'm afraid of telling the doctor exactly how i feel and i think that maybe i don't want to get better, which is strange as i hate being depressed. Does anyone else experience this? You hate where you are in life but don't want to move forward. I'm also afraid if i tell the doctor the truth about my self harming as well as the depression he/she will suggest i go in to hospital. I can't bear the thought of that plus there's the fact there would be no one to pay my rent etc and i don't want to lose my home as i will have no where else to go and that will just add to my depression.

I'm having a good weekend, i've been able to get basic things like housework and laundry done. These are big things for me as when i am feeling at my worst i can't even get dressed. I try and get as much as possible done during the 'good times' and then there is not so much pressure when i hit the 'bad times', at least that's the theory.

Well i think that's it for now.

SW

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SW,

By the time I saw a psychiatrist, I had been ill a long time. It was familiar, it was horrible, but I knew it and I was living with it, on some level. I couldn't contemplate being any different, and doing the things other people do. Anytime something got hard, I just pointed to my illness, all my mistakes, down to my illness. Getting better meant risking stepping up and being responsible. That is scary. So no, while you don't enjoy being ill, getting better has a scary side. But trust me, the good points out weight the fear!

Be as honest as you can bear. You won't be hospitalized for self harm alone, I imagine, you'd have to be a lethal danger to yourself or someone else if you're here in the UK, and probably in the U.S too. There is a lot more emphasis on treating people in their communities these days, so hospital is more of a last resort. I have found the key to reducing my self harm is being totally up front about it, what I do, where I do it, why I do it. That way I have been able to learn other coping methods, deal with the trigger emotions, and get better. But no one can help you if you lie or omit things.

It's natural to want to trust your pdoc before you share. But they will have heard things far worse/'crazier' than you have to admit. Don't be afraid to look silly, odd or whatever is crossing your mind. The pdoc is there because they want to help you, and the more you can say, the better. From a practical point of view, if you lie, you might end up being prescribed no meds, or meds that don't fit your problem, and waste a lot of time and potentially money too.

Maybe making a list of your symptoms would help? My pdoc wants to know about my sleep, diet, moods, self harm, weight, my ability to look to the future and see a future for myself, how my family are seeing me, etc etc. So symptoms like, losing pleasure in things, self harm, less interest in food, nightmares, more rows with family, any of those, or any you have, are useful to point out. It's okay to say that you have good times and describe what you get done, so long as you mention the bad times where you can't dress.

Let us know how you get on (if you're comfy with sharing that is!)

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have been hospitalised, have had treatment without. you will have full control of the situation. i think that it's called "baker" acted, if one is held for three days as a threat to self or others.

if, as i interpret your post, you are going to see a private practice p-doc, then rest assured that the doc will have the resources to bear upon your mental anguish with hospitalisation as contingency.

there are times when one has to trust someone and the people that deal with us crackpots are a cut above. go by any and all means and get yourself the help that you need. expect it to take a while for the process to work. a broken leg take time to heal - thus a broken mind the same.

best to you,

rpmcmurphy

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