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He married a manic sexpot....


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Sounds pretty normal to me. I'm sure that he's having trouble adjusting to the change, but anyone with any foresight would know that at some time during a long marriage this would happen. There were lots of times with my ex when I was more interested in sex than she was, but either I accepted it or I tried to gently persuade her. Might not have done this latter so much except that usually it turned out that she enjoyed it. And we were always touchy feely. The touchy feely part is pretty fun even if it doesn't go somewhere else every time. So I think you already know the solution, the question is will he sign on to it? If he does, I bet you'll both be happy with the results.

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I have a similar problem.  I was also HYPER sexual during my mania  (most of my twenties,..and all during while we were dating.  I got rxd and treated after marriage,..and I suddenly had little to no sex drive.  It sucks.  I feel bad for my husband,..I know he is like wtf?  But he is very understanding,..I hope someday to get a little more of it back..but this time w/out the mania.

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I've been having a similar problem, though not specifically with sex. As I've tapered off my meds, I've met all kinds of new people and have opened my mind to new possibilities -- it's really been good in many ways. But then of course there's the re-emergence of "symptoms". So OK, I go back on the meds, and suddenly new people I've met don't like who I am, and old people recognize me again but are now confused as to who I am, because I've been in flux.

Never mind people -- it feels as if I'm starting to live in incompatible realities. None of which seems like the "normal" one...

For example -- off the meds, I can meet people better and adapt to new situations, which besides being generally a good thing is somewhat important as I try to find some job to start a new career direction and pay the bills. *On* the meds I'm stable and not in constant flux as to which direction I'm going, but the catch is that I'm not as good socially, adapting to new situations, etc. Catch 22. And the worst part is, I can see exactly why all of this is true, but I can only explain it within the context of the meds-reality or the non-meds reality, and they're two completely different explanations. If I choose the former, I'll be explaining it to the people drifting out of my life, who all "coincedentally" believe I'm mentally ill; if I choose the latter, I can explain it to people who are crazy like me. Still doesn't get me any closer to supporting myself.

Anyway sorry to digress there, but the meds thing is a real problem. It's called homeostasis actually. But I don't know who I'm explaining this to, so I'll just say that changes that are too rapid can rip apart the realities of your life, no matter whether they seem like good or bad changes. Meanwhile not changing at all will slowly remove you from the constantly changing realities of your life.

Whether you can relate this to being a sex bunny or not I don't know.

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Dear 6:

It sounds like adjusting the meds might help the situation, although there is a long-term solution that both of you have to address:  people change in marriages and partners have to compromise and learn to love the "new" person.

(I'm not being a wiseguy--I've been married twice and this one has lasted over 25 years.)

It isn't just a manic state that can create a sex bunny:  I ended up in an ER on our first trip together because of a bladder infection caused by our...umm...enthusiasm.  It was a lovely period in our life together but I don't think I expected it to be like that forever.  And neither did he.

I think you both have to make an effort to keep the spark alive.  He needs to understand enough about female psychology and physiology to offer some love-play. (Isn't that a better word than 'foreplay?')  If he loves you, he will want to excite you.

And it swings both ways.  The former sex bunny is still a sexy lady, so now you have to maybe make a little effort.  The tried and true stuff still works--sexy lingerie, sending the child to a friend for a sleep-over, and touching him frequently so he knows the affection and attraction are still there.  Everyone is insecure in that area and loves having their SO reassure them of their continuing love (and lust).

You might also find some erotic books helpful.  Women for centuries have used erotica and it's worth a shot.  I used to have some doozies but he made me throw them out when we got grandchildren and they were staying in our house.  sigh...

I'm sorry this is so loooong.  I always enjoyed your posts on the old board and I'm glad to "see" you again.  Good luck!

olga

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Do you ever get away together from the normal home situation ? Works for me but now we are so broke we can't afford to go anywhere.And now for the Henny Youngman joke.........

We go out for a romantic candle light dinner twice a week,she goes Tuesday and I go on Fridays......    So if you can afford it ,you and the hubby should go somewhere just the 2 of you,doesn't have to be some 5 star hotel,just away from home. ;)

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#6

I can see it

I was one

involved

with another

we tore each other to pieces

had little relationship beyond

the shared obsession to fuck

She made me multiorgasmic

I about killed her

of course it's still an

Issue

S

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