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Breast Augmentation


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So I've always had small breasts. When I was in my early teens, I'd think about getting implants. I decided to wait until I was in my mid to late 20's to decide. Well, mid to late 20's passed and I just didn't think about it anymore. Now, I'm 32, hating my body because I think I'm fat (although I know I'm not) and the thought pops in my head that if I get boobs I'll be more proportionate and won't hate my body anymore. Sound like a set up for failure to anyone? I don't know what to do. I've already set up a consult in a couple of weeks. I'm trying to decide whether I want to cancel it or not.

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if i were you i'd write out (for yourself) in more detail your reasons for wanting implants.

i don't think surgery is wrong. (i've had my nose done and am happy i did so...)

but you have to really understand that you will still be you when the surgery is over. you may look different, but if this is about negative self-image, that negative self-image won't go away after the surgery. it may not even change how you see yourself in the mirror, depending upon how affected you are by body dysmorphic disorder.

are you seeing a therapist? if you are i'd talk to him/her about this.

there isn't, imo, anything wrong w/ surgery... i am neither pro nor anti surgery. it is too personal for me to make such judgment calls for others.

but you need to be prepared for the fact that it is not a cure-all on any level.

please ask me for clarification if this did not make sense. i've gone through my own surgery and had to deal with the dissonance between my expectations and reality, and it was hard. and yet i am still happy i did it, though i know people who are not happy they did their surgeries.

i'd encourage you to make sure your surgeon is aware of your psych issues, and, of course, make sure he's a good doctor.

best of luck on this decision to you. it is not an easy one. and remember you have plenty of time to decide, there's no deadline.

penny

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I'm interested what was going on around now that triggered off the implant thought, which you have said wasn't around earlier in your late twenties. Why now?

You have said that you regard yourself as fat even though you know intellectually that you are not. I generally don't see a lot of breast implants that look 'proportional' and enhance a woman's beauty, they tend to look fake and too high on her chest, too large for her respective weight, and while they may distract from a rounded tummy, they also tend to look very artificial. JMO. I'm not against all surgery, sometimes it does do positive things for people. But I would only really recommend it if you have unusually small breasts, to the point of not having any at all, and that fact is making you very unhappy. I love a large pair of breasts, but tiny breasts can be very sexy too.

I've learned that the hollywood body we are sold is fake, it's amended by surgery, tape, lighting, airburshing, a strict diet regime to the point of starvation, and brutal training regimes, it's a body that the average woman cannot afford or create no matter how much effort she puts in. I am not thin, I am curvy to the point of carrying more weight than I need to (a UK size 16, which is a US 14 I think) although I have lost of late, just by coming off a med, without dieting. Some days I hate my body. Some days I love it. I get compliments on it often. My boyfriend adores my body, he loves my back, even though I have a fat roll that I imagined would gross him out. It doesn't. Having a tummy, or a fat roll, or stretch marks is not a sign of ugliness or undesirability. My boyfriend and I show each other the few stretch marks we have for fun (though his are on his arms where he has beefed up, and mine are on my thighs, were I have, err, blimped up!)

My point is that breast augmentation might not make you feel good about your figure. It might. But you might also wake up in pain, with breasts that look too high, oddly shaped, unlike each other, with implants that in some cases can get infected/move around/leak that you don't like and don't feel right with. You might still feel fat with them. It might also be hard to find clothes that fit. Changing the exterior doesn't always shift what goes on in our heads.

How about this for an experiment? I am doing this with my thighs. I think they are too big. Always have thought that. Friends catch me saying they are too fat and tell me off. I am looking at them in the mirror once a day, and finding something nice that I like about them. I like the skin colour, I like how soft they are, I like the amount of hair or lack of it they have, I like how muscular they are, I like that they aren't covered in cellulite (I have a little, even babies have cellulite!) Slowly, I am realising that my comments about my thighs have stopped popping up, and now I like them, I am comfier with my boyfriend touching them, I don't have issues with them anymore.

This is an exercise from Mama Gena's book of the womanly arts; focus on the body part you hate, and find something you like about it, every day for a fortnight. Try it. Postpone surgery till then. You might find that you can counter a lot of this 'I feel so fat' talk going on in your head by giving this a go. If not, you have only lost a fortnight and can go for surgery knowing that you truly feel the way you do.

My other thought about surgery is that it is expensive. Think of the holidays you can take, the books you can read, the things you could see and people that you could meet, the ways to imvest that money, all the adventures you could have that would only make you a more beautiful person, inside and out, but that would also nurture you. Why spend all that on silicone? I'd rather go to italy or mexico or see the sun rise over the pyramids or take a cookery course or buy a fast car or a fair trade diamond or new wardrobe of clothes that don't make me feel fat etc etc....

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