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I am an idiot. I went off a med even though I was on a combo that was working. Because it dramatically increased my blood pressure to unhealthy levels, and I and my husband and my gp thought it was ridiculous to take a blood pressure med to counteract it when I've been on so few meds. But still. Stupid. My pdoc didn't seem to have a problem with it and put me back on Lexapro. Well now I'm fucking depressed again. And pissed that I stopped Cymbalta. And all the feeling of momentum I had going to improve my life is rapidly disappearing. Which doesn't help because I need to do stuff because I'm pretty socially isolated. I feel like I fucked up and it'll take forever to get back on track. I also feel like I take advantage of my illness and use it as an excuse to be lazy and not try hard enough to build a decent life. Does anyone else feel like this? I'm sick of this bullshit. I can accept that maybe I can't have a normal life but I'd at least like not to be depressed all the time.

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I started Geodon about 6 weeks ago. It has really helped my depression. But it seems to be adding to my anxiety in a big way. I'm afraid to go off of it. I'm going to ask my pdoc to address the anxiety symptoms with yet another medication (I'm taking valium PRN right now). I really don't want to go off this med. It's got to be better than that deep depression I was in (I'm still mildly depressed which I'm afraid is going to be my norm). Of course, this will add another med to my already large cocktail. I feel that my life has been taken over my bipolar and medication. I'm starting to come to the conclusion that my life won't be normal and that this is an illness, not a lazy or lack of backbone issue. I don't like it but what can you do?

I hope this relates to your topic and is coherent because my mind is foggy.

Oreo

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hi, HF

are you sure it was the cymbalta that was causing your high BP? I was on cymbalta for about a year and didn't have any problems - but then again I take medication for high BP but I was taking that before cymbalta (which I loved before it bombed out on me)

Hopefully you can get back to where you were with or without the cymbalta - good luck to you ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...

If you see this, thanks for the responses. I got embarrassed when I posted about myself and stopped visiting the site for a couple of weeks.

I accept that I have an illness but I still think that I can do better in spite of it. I feel like my therapist and husband cut me too much slack and I use it as an excuse to be lazy or not try hard enough to have a better life or be more productive or whatever. I don't know if I'm right or not. I guess it is because I'm not severely depressed so I feel like I have no excuse not to function.

Wakko, I'm not 100% sure it was the Cymbalta, but I will say this. When I stopped it, my blood pressure dropped dramatically. Like 20 points on both measures. I now have normal blood pressure for possibly the first time ever. I wonder if my fish oil might contribute to that?

I have just whipped myself into a depression from reading the newspaper. I couldn't help but read this special section about working vs. non-working mothers even though I knew it would make me depressed. I am neither working nor a mother. I like to use these kinds of pieces to make me realize just how pathetic I am and how astronomically far I am from meeting any kind of standard on what modern women should be like. I especially liked the woman who wrote a book warning stay at home mothers of potential financial ruin should their husbands divorce them or die or become disabled. Sure makes me feel secure about my future. I'm not a stay at home mother but like them I am financially dependent on my husband. I am extremely worried about my ability to support myself should I need to. I have a happy marriage with no threat whatsoever of divorce but you never know what will happen. That's the kind of thing that makes me think I am being too easy on myself and I need to get off my ass and acheive something, even though my therapist and husband don't think it's a good idea for me to job hunt right now.

Being depressed just feels like a cop-out answer that everyone gives when they can't explain themselves with something respectable. Being depressed is so banal and cliched in society. That's why no one believes that depression can be a disability or a serious impediment, because everyone gets "depressed" and everyone is on Prozac.

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I have just whipped myself into a depression from reading the newspaper. I couldn't help but read this special section about working vs. non-working mothers even though I knew it would make me depressed. I am neither working nor a mother. I like to use these kinds of pieces to make me realize just how pathetic I am and how astronomically far I am from meeting any kind of standard on what modern women should be like. I especially liked the woman who wrote a book warning stay at home mothers of potential financial ruin should their husbands divorce them or die or become disabled. Sure makes me feel secure about my future. I'm not a stay at home mother but like them I am financially dependent on my husband. I am extremely worried about my ability to support myself should I need to. I have a happy marriage with no threat whatsoever of divorce but you never know what will happen. That's the kind of thing that makes me think I am being too easy on myself and I need to get off my ass and acheive something, even though my therapist and husband don't think it's a good idea for me to job hunt right now.

Being depressed just feels like a cop-out answer that everyone gives when they can't explain themselves with something respectable. Being depressed is so banal and cliched in society. That's why no one believes that depression can be a disability or a serious impediment, because everyone gets "depressed" and everyone is on Prozac.

I don't have a husband or children. I feel that I'll never measure up in society the way I should. I have a job. I've been out of work 4 times for months at a time because of my moods. I'm currently out right now. So I worry too that I won't be able to support myself in the future. But I am going back to work within the month. (This is a big issue for me as people can see it seems to come up in all my posts.)

And trying to explain my moods to anyone is a pain in the ass. I get embarrassed and think I am not equiped to face reality. If I had a broken leg or diabetes, people would understand.

Besides seeing my Pdoc, I also see a Tdoc who helps me work on acceptance and coping skills. I wanted you to know that you are not alone. I don't know if you see a tdoc. Maybe that would help.

Oreo

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I think that if the Cymbalta helped you, and the other doesn't, that it would be worth taking a beta-blocker to achieve the right effects. Your state of mind is more important than the amount of drugs you take.

I do however agree with Maceo, that you could try substituting Effexor since it's the only med in the same class as Cymbalta.

So, try the Effexor... and if it doesn't work, go for the Cymbalta and beta-blocker.

It's far more important that you get relief than the amount of meds you take.. IMO.

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This is exactly where I am (sort of). I've been in a pretty challenging job for almost two years, with a cocktail that wasn't fully working but was "good enough" (Prozac, Wellbutrin and clonazepam PRN). I was finally miserable enough to see a pdoc for the first time in six years, and we began adding in Lamictal. She encouraged me to take time off, and I said no. I managed to work through the side effects (as well as those of Topamax, which I started for migraines). At 225 of Lamictal, I had a really good week, feeling like the "old" me, which I hadn't felt in years and years. And then I crashed. I've been on medical leave ever since, and I feel like I have to go back next week. I started Cymbalta five days ago (and dropped the Prozac), and I'm terrified I'll never get back to "normal". Never be able to function again. Everything exhausts me. And I wonder how much is laziness on my part and how much is illness.

One thing I wanted to say about living up to society's "norm" for women - I've never done that, and I've been lucky to have several women friends who also have never done that. I have no desire to be a mother or get married, though I do long for a partnership, and I feel sad that I'm too old (41) to have been able to grow up with a man; now it's - if I'm lucky - growing old with someone. And I think, who in their right mind would want someone as damaged as me? So that makes me sad, but please know there are many of us who recognize that what society says women should be isn't necessarily right. I look at women who are living the 2.5 child lifestyle and wonder how they do it.

Anyway, I'm new here, so I should probably just shut up...

b.

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About going off the Cymbalta...when I started feeling well, it wasn't after I went on Cymbalta, but when I added Lamictal to the Cymbalta. So I'm skeptical about how important it was in the first place. Obviously, it was doing some of the work, but I'd be surprised if my Lamictal uppage doesn't take care of the problem.

As far as the increase in blood pressure...it was a severe rise in blood pressure. Both numbers have dropped about 20 points since I stopped it. It wasn't as much about taking more meds as it was adding another chronic illness to try and manage. I don't know. We'll see how it goes. I'll ask my doctor what he thinks about going back onto Cymbalta when I see him again.

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I missed this post..

I started Geodon about 6 weeks ago. It has really helped my depression. But it seems to be adding to my anxiety in a big way. I'm afraid to go off of it. I'm going to ask my pdoc to address the anxiety symptoms with yet another medication (I'm taking valium PRN right now). I really don't want to go off this med. It's got to be better than that deep depression I was in (I'm still mildly depressed which I'm afraid is going to be my norm). Of course, this will add another med to my already large cocktail. I feel that my life has been taken over my bipolar and medication. I'm starting to come to the conclusion that my life won't be normal and that this is an illness, not a lazy or lack of backbone issue. I don't like it but what can you do?

I hope this relates to your topic and is coherent because my mind is foggy.

Oreo

Geodon works strangely in that (normally) lower doses make you anxious while higher ones knock you out. However, what dose it does that is dependent on the individual. I had an odd reaction where I had both at the same time, but you could try raising the dose to see if it fixes the anxiety without making you too out of it..

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  • 3 weeks later...

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