mamayaya Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 So my daughters' father met a woman online and moved in with her and her two kids this past weekend, leaving me and my bipolar self with two young children, 3 and 1. I have been missing my pdoc and tdoc appts out of lack of motivation and now feel screwed. I was on Paxil, Zyprexa, and Xanax and while the Zyprexa made my depression better it also made me sleepier, so I weaned off of it. I called the pdoc and she said the earliest she can get me in is the first week in Oct and if I have an 'acute psychiatric emergency' to go to the ER. Sure. Anyway..... I have some Abilify from when I tried that before (before I was on Paxil) and it was 'activating' at 5 mg but I seemed to do okay on it at 2.5. I'm all out of Xanax with no refills. I am a total and complete hysterical mess. I am in the lowest depression of my life. I feel physically sick. I have been throwing up, my whole insides feel upset... I can't eat. I can't shower. I'm taking care of my babies with the help of a friend. Somethings gotta give. I'm willing to go ahead and start popping one or the other until I can get in just to see if I can get some kind of freakin relief!!!! I'm tired of sleeping and being sedated tho... It's a double-edged sword. Any suggestions on what to do? I can't get hospitalized... I have to work and support and watch my babies.. and I'm not suicidal... if I didn't have kids, then yep, I'd pretty much be then for sure. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
december_brigette Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 Hi! Im glad one of your friends is helping you. Are there any other friends or family that could assist you with the children right now?? when i found out my ex-h (husband at the time) was having an affair & moved in with her - i couldnt eat at all. but at the time it was only me - no kids. i cant imagine trying to raise kids in this situation. the first week of oct is next week...hopefully you can get appts sooner than later. much peace, december Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loon-A-TiK Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 i wouldn't mess wtih meds at all wtihout your pdoc's consent. you could always run it by your pdoc on the phone- see if you can get at least a brief phone consultation- and ask what to do. maybe activating Abilify is what you could use to get you through a rough time, or maybe sleeping it off on Z would help more. have you tried other atypicals? abilify is by far and away the only one i'll take, but it doesn't activate me. i'm so sorry that happened to you. it happened to my cousin too, but she didn't have kids. her husband (ex) met a woman online and moved in with her- AFTER my cousin worked two jobs to put him through grad school. nice, heh? be good to yourself and do everything lifestyle-wise that you know you need to do to get through this. and live for your children. my dad committed suicide and left behind 4 of us, one being 10 years old. some loser guy isn't worth it. if you can't get your pdoc, then see your gp or go to the ER. do something. you can't keep on throwing up and going through what you are. you can get physical problems, like dehydration, from the throwing up. you need to remember your physical health too. if you check in and write down ALL your symptoms, i'm sure they'll see you and at least get you through until you can see your pdoc. make that pdoc appt. go to it. make a tdoc appt. go to it. you know how important it is for us bp people to take care of ourselves with our disorder. bp kills at least 10% of people who have it according to the last study i read. we can't let it be us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamayaya Posted September 26, 2007 Author Share Posted September 26, 2007 make that pdoc appt. go to it. make a tdoc appt. go to it. you know how important it is for us bp people to take care of ourselves with our disorder. bp kills at least 10% of people who have it according to the last study i read. we can't let it be us. Thank you for the advice. I am going to call the on-call nurse and see what she has to say. They did tell me that if I felt that bad I should come down to "Acute Psychiatric services" at the county hospital (I've been there with an ex who had BP with psychosis) and you basically sit and sit and wait until someone can see you and most of the time they admit you. I'm not suicidal per se, I'd just say that if I didn't have kids and a bus came along and knocked me outta my misery, so be it. lol I know I have to be my girl's rock right now. Unfortunately I'm not being a very good one. Sleep has been my only solace. My poor baby girls don't have much of a playmate lately. I just lay on the couch and fall asleep I talked to my ex on the phone last night and literally begged him to come home... I sobbed... I wailed... the snotty, can't breathe type wails... I sounded like a sick puppy. He just hung up on me. He said he will come see the girls this weekend so we'll see. He is nothing but super cruel to me with the new girl egging him on in the background. He has no job and no steady address. But my biggest fear is losing my kids because of my depression. I'm so terrified he is going to use it against me to get my girls! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
themind Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 So sorry to hear about your situation. My heart goes out to you...sending you some virtual hugs!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cetkat Posted September 26, 2007 Share Posted September 26, 2007 I am going to call the on-call nurse and see what she has to say. They did tell me that if I felt that bad I should come down to "Acute Psychiatric services" at the county hospital (I've been there with an ex who had BP with psychosis) and you basically sit and sit and wait until someone can see you and most of the time they admit you. I'm not suicidal per se, I'd just say that if I didn't have kids and a bus came along and knocked me outta my misery, so be it. lol I talked to my ex on the phone last night and literally begged him to come home... I sobbed... I wailed... the snotty, can't breathe type wails... I sounded like a sick puppy. He just hung up on me. He said he will come see the girls this weekend so we'll see. He is nothing but super cruel to me with the new girl egging him on in the background. He has no job and no steady address. But my biggest fear is losing my kids because of my depression. I'm so terrified he is going to use it against me to get my girls! I would definitely call the nurse and see what they say. They, or a GP, could at least give you a refill on your Xanax to help get you through. They could put you back on the Zyprexa or Abilify, or maybe up your Paxil too since you've already been on those. Anything else would mean having to be seen by some sort of pdoc. I would definitely find out if Acute Psychiatric services would admit you before going that route. I don't think depression would matter much with custody; but being hospitalized would. Do you have any family that could help out with the girls while you're feeling down? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
december_brigette Posted September 28, 2007 Share Posted September 28, 2007 hi, if your husband does not have a steady job or address...those are things that any child services, court, etc would consider against him. if you are depressed and actively seeking treatment...that is a good thing. 1. for you. 2. for the kids. and 3. for any child custody issues. it shows you are doing the work to try to get better. im so sorry you have to go through this crap. i like to type my thoughts out. i havent checked the blogs today....but that is also a good place to vent...and you can make it private so only certain members can view your posts on the blog. much love, december Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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