What do AD's 'feel' like?

[Unregistered]

Hi all, I'm trying to put together material for a talk to raise awareness of MI, and I need to find out more about depression and ADs.

I have very limited experience of ADs on their own, specifically only a few weeks on prozac - I take TCA's continually, but only in combination with a mood stabiliser, so that masks the AD effect.

When I was on prozac alone, I knew I was just as crappy as before, but it was like that part was isolated and in another room. It was there, but I just didn't care about it as much. This makes me think that it would be a good med for reactive depression: it shields you from the pain while whatever caused it gets resolved or fades away. But what would I know?

So my question is this: for someone with chronic MDD, what does it feel like to be on ADs, assuming that they are working? Are you aware of them? Is the pain still there but masked? Is it there but attenuated?

TIA

[Greenyflower]

The first time I went on an SSRI, it was like a layer of slimy scum had been washed off. No wonder other people's lives seemed so easy, they ARE! Shit, if I had known that was what "normal" felt like, I would have sucked it up and gone to the doc much sooner.

Specifically, (and this is after a couple of months), I could sleep, carry a thought through to its end, and believe that my friends actually enjoyed my company rather than just tolerating me.

Anger and irritation, which used to metastasize until it filled my head, would fizzle out after a minute or so.

I was able to listen to music again, read for pleasure, go outside and not want to crawl back in bed.

To answer your question, no, the pain was not masked. It was as if depression was the mask and I was set free of the bulk of it. I know that many people complain about feeling muted or blunted by ADs but that has not been my experience. My emotions are fuller and sharper.

It was truly a life saver, but frightening, too. I had no idea, until I started coming back up, how disabled I had been for way too long.

[null0trooper]

When I was on prozac alone, I knew I was just as crappy as before, but it was like that part was isolated and in another room. It was there, but I just didn't care about it as much. This makes me think that it would be a good med for reactive depression: it shields you from the pain while whatever caused it gets resolved or fades away. But what would I know?

I know one person who was feeling very down after his wife left him, and a temporary course of an SSRI (with some supportive therapy) helped him a great deal. However, that's not major depression and it's not the "reactive mood" or "rejection sensitivity" associated with atypical depression. In those cases, clinicians are talking about people still capable of feeling worse when the shit hits the fan.

So my question is this: for someone with chronic MDD, what does it feel like to be on ADs, assuming that they are working? Are you aware of them? Is the pain still there but masked? Is it there but attenuated?

Pain? You've been watching that Cymbalta commercial, haven't you?

What does life feel like on an antidepressant? It's not a gaping hole in the bottom of your soul sucking out all of the energy and color from your life, leaving hardly any reserve capacity to deal constructively with life's little bullshit. The really good thing is that it allows Adderall to actually work on my ADHD.

Actually, Lexapro made it worse, but my doctor and I knew that was a risk with even trying it. While a person may be diagnosed with depression, that doesn't mean that increased serotonin levels are helpful.

[Loon-A-TiK]

are you talking about MI in general, or MDD in particular? i have bipolar 1 disorder, however do obviously have my rounds of depression. i take wellbutrin, not an SSRI, but i took paxil for 10 years.

when i started taking paxil, it was like suddenly there was light. it was literally like everything had color whereas it didn't before. things were just grayer. i can't describe it. suddenly things weren't my fault anymore. i wasn't hated anymore. people weren't ignoring me or starring at me anymore. i could run around and feel really happy, really alive. there's no way to put it unless you've felt dead before.

i like GF's explaination.

[olga]

I have depression, and no other flavor of MI that I know of, so maybe I can put in my 2

[mejeba]

Wet blanket here.

Originally dx'd with Severe Depression, I went on Celexa and Ativan. Ativan was great- I could sleep again. But the Celexa felt absolutely horrible, physically, in my brain. They tried boosting the dose and adding Lithium, but it didn't help at all. I hated it, and became more irritable and volatile. I took myself off the Celexa, which was no fun, and was med-free when dx'd with BPII and given mood stabilizers.

I hope this is relevant in some way.

[Cetkat]

So my question is this: for someone with chronic MDD, what does it feel like to be on ADs, assuming that they are working? Are you aware of them? Is the pain still there but masked? Is it there but attenuated?

In my case, if something is working (positively or not) I do feel it... at least until I get used to it, like if you wear contacts. Prozac made me feel drugged, Zoloft created a mental block/attenuation, and Cymbalta/Effexor creates a mask similar to how being in a positive mood does. The problem is still there, but it's not as noticeable and all-encompassing. It disappears to the point where you feel normal. I don't think there is a common rule for all AD's for all people. I don't think it's about if the med works, but in what way and how well that creates the difference.

As for "pain".. I take that to mean emotional pain; not physical (although you can have that too). Sadness that doesn't go away is painful to me, an ache in the heart that just doesn't stop in addition to that "black hole" feeling.

[Unregistered]

As for "pain".. I take that to mean emotional pain; not physical (although you can have that too). Sadness that doesn't go away is painful to me, an ache in the heart that just doesn't stop in addition to that "black hole" feeling.

Cetkat, that was exactly what I meant. Thanks for the replies, folks.