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My neighbor has a sleep disturbance

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My neighbor NEVER sleeps. Back when I used to stay up all night long, I would hear him over there banging and clanging so I know he's up just like me. Now that I'm sleeping better, he still manages to wake me up because it's dead quiet over there and then all of a sudden...


and then nothing. Then a couple hours later it sounds like he's tunnelling through the walls or something! I can see myself on an episode of CSI very, very soon.

Why did you kill your neighbor ma'am?

The fucker wouldn't go to sleep!!!!!

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when i was working grave yard so that i could work a dayside off the books job in my trade. i lived in a big assed city-that's where the unions and the pay was.

graveyard is a hump in it's own right and working another 20 made for about 4/5 hours a day for sleep. this low rent trash, drunk assed ho moved into the rental adjacent to my digs. they left a trio of untrained big assed dogs that barked incessantly all day and evening. i was at wits end and took 'em to dog court. the shit weasels got out of it by claiming the dogs didn't belong to the evil bitch but to the illiterate, doofus that was shacked up with her. the judge had to kick it. it forced me to use my seniority to bump to second shift.

it i hadn't done so, it would have been swat rather than csi. i would have had to do a fucking rambo over the fence and blase away. that sort of misery is now long gone as closest neighbor is 300 meters away. and he's one of the town cops.

fedex him a liter of dissolved rophynol and a note that he won a sweepstakes for a herbal potion to make his peeny a foot long.

goddamned if i don't feel for you!

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The weirdest part of this whole bizarro world I'm living in....

He drives about FIVE different cars. He's got an escalade. Then he comes home in a little red piece of shit that has no front seat!!! Then he'll come home in a moving van. Then another day he's got a car I've never seen. It's way...way...way....freakin WEIRD.

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does the mutt look like a freak? unfamiliar with hygiene and all. perhaps the autos have a story behind them. could he be a valet parker at a dive bar where the patrons are used to not being able to find their shit after dropping a paycheck in one night on the town.

a beater with no front seat??? what in fucks name does he sit on. milk crates have been out of vogue since the summer of love 40 years ago.

are you tripping out? is your neighborhood near a funny farm with itty bitty fences? please this saga must go on. i adore this man already, he could be my long lost brother, doppelganger or what not. does he come home with ho's that have whips and chains and the like? that would account for the tunneling effect. has he perhaps pets that defy logic, you know big assed snakes and monitor lizards that weigh in at a 50 kilos?

i have ted kozinski types back here in the tall timber. you know manifestos and shit! you see the government considers them so significant that they want to kill them. just ask them if you think i am talking through me hat. deer season is soon upon us and otherwise "normal" folk are banging away sighting in their atomic, magnum, elephant guns.

still, considering your dilemma and all the exiting things that you got going, i'll not be missing city life in the foreseeable future.

please do an agatha christie thing and find out the skinny on psycho dude from hell. i don't watch CSI and would be very sorry to miss your debut. per chance you have a particular aversion to rophynol, but a liter of ketamine might be sufficient in a pinch. i think that you could muster up a BF to dress off kilter and present himself as a publisher's clearing house dude at mutts door step. i'm certain mutt would accept a liter of wonder tonic in such a situation.

your friend, randal p. mcmurphy

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i don't watch CSI and would be very sorry to miss your debut.

On the other hand, I am a shameless CSI Vegas ADDICT, which Stasis can vouch for. Erm...who would play you? I have bad and wrong fantasies about Gary Dourdan (Warrick).

But to the topic, I am a light sleeper to the extreme. Foam ear plugs have saved my life. I've used them for 20 years. They don't get ALL of the noise, but I got used to the noise in my head being the noise and am able to sleep with some amount of continuity throughout the night.

You know, sleep dep can also make a person very, very, very intolerant of one's obnoxious MIL. ;)

Hearing you at 5:00 am EST...2 hours before normal waking time!


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my world is shattered. the paradoxical tunneling effect and the manifold beater mystery will now never be explained. you leave me on tenterhooks. perhaps, if i were in your shoes, seeing and hearing the last of him would be good enough, i suppose. but as a man of reason and a keen observer of the foibles of my fellow man, i'll be taking these unanswered questions to the grave with me.

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