Whits end with meds

[Guest Scarlex]

Im BP, rapid cycle possibly type V (?)

Went to therapy for 10 yrs, didnt help, infact last therapsit made me feel like the gum on the bottom of her shoe so now im gun shy. I talk to my "friends" on a parenting board and kind of get it out that way, along with my family.

Ive been in 6 nutty wings since the age of 13, once for attempted suicide, the rest for ideations (all but once voluntary, had I known it was free, it would have been INvoluntary as now I owe 50K to those nutty wings)

I currently work, and do do better when I work. Im a mom of one 5 yr old and married (not very happily).

I have tried each and every drug I;ve ever heard of, in many different cocktail out there! Ive never gone on MAOI or that other kind, is it TCA? Due to taking meds for my Fibromyalgia.

When Im on the downward spiral Im very paranoid and have angoraphobia as well.

I would like to try Buprenex since it is a pain killer as well (ive been on low-med dose of Lortab for 3 yrs for the FMS, usually 1-3 a day unless its a migrane day which are 1 every 1-3 months).

Anyone try it?

Right now we are on Cymbalta, Pamelor and Topomax.

I cannot take ANY atypical antipsycotics, they cause me to have halicuinations, freak outs, cant sit still and I get very suicidal on them.

If a drug has a weight gain side effect, it WILL happen to me in the extreme. I dont eat very much and I dont eat much junk food, but yet managed to gain around 40lbs in 30DAYS on seroquel if you get the idea.

I also dont like to be numb. A little numb is OK but when I cant find joy in my little girl when she is being silly, that starts me in a downward spiral.

Effexor worked for me (300mg) for a while, then it just quit. No warning, just stopped cold. Never totally pulled me out of my depression, but made it more tolerable, ya know?

My manias are about 50/50 on the bad side. Meaning half the time they are self destructive (spending, anger, sex, drinking, traveling, driving too fast) the other 50% of the time they are productive (getting those odd projects I never have the energy to do done, taking the kid to the zoo or the museum, getting off my couch things like that. But when I start we never know which one we are going to get...

My cycles are anywhere from 15 minutes to a few months. Ive had as many as 30 full cycles in a day.

I cant take much more of this. I need some help, need to find a concoction to help me! Right now Im in the deep dark black place and I cant seem to get out of it for more than a day at a time.

I also take Provigil, though it doesnt seem to give me any extra umpf or help me stay awake at all (I work 3rd shift, but am off right now due to a broken arm I got at work) But I dont know how to get adderal w/o looking like a seeker.

I just moved to this town, and OTHER than my broken arm issues, have seen my new PCP twice. He knows his drugs, and knows his bipolar very well. Im more comfy with him than seeing a pdoc.

What are your suggestions??? SOrry this got so long!

[mrsloony]

Perhaps the addition of a mood stabilizer like lithium or lamictal?

This may have been a typo but you said "we" are on such and such meds. is there a chance you have DID that you know of? ( I've had friends with this so I tend to pick up on little things like we instead of I)

sorry not familiar with painkillers. I've had the experience of massive weight gain too- but not on every AP. For me it was risperidol ( 50 lbs maybe?) and I've done ok with seroquel- so this can definately vary. though i was pretty scared to try another after the weight gain,but i'm glad i did- seroquel has been one of the most consistantly helpful meds in my "cocktail"

I guess its surprising to me that as a BP you are taking 3 ADs. just seems an unusual choice given your rapid cycling. definately recommend new evaluation of meds! from what i've gathered reading here, most BPs are on some mood stabilizer and AP.

[Guest scarlex]

Perhaps the addition of a mood stabilizer like lithium or lamictal?

This may have been a typo but you said "we" are on such and such meds. is there a chance you have DID that you know of? ( I've had friends with this so I tend to pick up on little things like we instead of I)

sorry not familiar with painkillers. I've had the experience of massive weight gain too- but not on every AP. For me it was risperidol ( 50 lbs maybe?) and I've done ok with seroquel- so this can definately vary. though i was pretty scared to try another after the weight gain,but i'm glad i did- seroquel has been one of the most consistantly helpful meds in my "cocktail"

I guess its surprising to me that as a BP you are taking 3 ADs. just seems an unusual choice given your rapid cycling. definately recommend new evaluation of meds! from what i've gathered reading here, most BPs are on some mood stabilizer and AP.

No, Topomax is an anti seizure drug used as a mood stablizer, it is not an ad. So I am on two totally different AD, works on different parts of the brain

[misscat]

Im a little suprised too, even being on 2 antidepressants can cause rapid cycling in some people. I am on a low dose of prozac, geodon and lamictal is my mood stabilizer. Lamictal helps a lot with the BP depression as does the geodon.I dont know anything about topomax xcept it is sued as a mood stabilizer.

I hope you find the right cocktail for you, I know it can be frustrating. Speak to your doc about adding another mood stabilizer might be an option.

Miss C.

[scatty]

Lamictal has been my crucial med for years now. ADs make me cycle faster, and my episodes harder to treat. I add wellbutrin at a low dose when I am really suicidal, but have to discontinue it before I swing hard the other way. It's a damn tricky balancing act, for sure. I have also taken amitriptyline (a TCA) at a low dose for sleep with no ill effects.