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I'm a flight-simmer

WW2 carrier planes

flying off ships

over lots of water

I have a steady group

of interesting guys to fly with

all of them intelligent,patient

friendly

lots of times

I open the voice chat

see my favorite partners there

close the program

in a panic

feel stupid and lonely

but can't go back

DAMN IT!

Stasis

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Hi Jerod

My wife has Spasmodic Dysphonia

so I do the major phone work

it is tough sometimes

especially bureaucracy stuff

or making certain medical appointments

Silly to miss out on the good stuff

by freezing

I like the site and that you are still adding things

I have learned much

understood some more about myself

Thank You

Stasis

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I never ever ever answer the phone. I don't even talk on the phone with people I LIKE. My mom hates me because i can't call her. And you know what? i still won't talk on the fucking phone.

PHONE BAD!!!!!!

And this voice chat thing sounds like the work of Satan Himself!!!!

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The biggest reason I'm still on dialup is because if I got broadband I'd have no excuse for being unreachable by phone.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have a cell phone instead of a land line. It's *always* turned off and I tell everyone I give the number to that it is always turned off. I hate the telephone and telephone conversations.

Funny thing is, I work in tech support and I am on the phone nearly 8 hours a day. (but I was like this before--not causal)

Ruins

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And this voice chat thing sounds like the work of Satan Himself!!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Indeed, Ken.

And the person who suggested we spend buttloads of money to support it couldn't understand why we didn't want to and left with a royal foot-stamping hissy-fit because of our strenuous objections.

Just because there are, you know, existing sites and even older technologies for such a thing.  Like ad hoc conference calling and even HAM and CB radio.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Looking back, I'm not sure she really had clinical depression--her only "self-esteem" issue was with being a plebian and she seemed to have no ethical problems with imposing on people for non-necessities...

Well shit, I'm the last one to figure this out, aren't I?

StrungOutOnLife

*who's been really bad at this until recently*

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Guest Guest_stipple_*

i hate phones  and the people who leave phone numbers so fast you have to listen to the message 49 times to get the number,then you call them back and get a message.

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We have an eccentric answering machine

if you talk to fast

or loud

it cuts you off

or if you wait too long

(like some of us)

and there are just people it plays games with

they learn to just be real brief

Stasis

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I'm scared poopless of the stupid phone. It takes me days sometimes to screw up the courage to make a phone call. And when the stupid thing rings, about half the time it sends me into a panic attack. I also get freaked out in chat, so I don't even try to do it anymore. posting is the best for me, no pressure and I have time to gather my pitiful thoughts.

Phones are demanding bullies, people treat you like somekind of freak and social misfit if you don't answer the frigging thing. I HATE phones.

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my heart starts pounding out of my chest whenever the phone rings-- i've been that way as long as i can remember.  for me, the phone is actually worse than face-to-face.  i often find it easier to text-message people rather than call them.

one thing that i'm wondering if i have in common with anyone else . . . . i am way more comfortable making a business call (e.g. scheduling an appointment) than a social one.  i pretty much never call anyone just to talk.

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Having the phone ring

is like

getting mail from Social security

very likely bad news

First ring=

Goddamnit

Second=

FUCK!

Third=

Son-of-a bitch Fuck!

Fourth and etc

some good combining

Stasis

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I love caller ID. It has made the phone into a tool that benefits me instead of being a gateway for strangers to enter my house. If I get a call from someone I know AND want to talk with, I'll answer. If not, I don't answer.

My phone, my house, my rules.

Greeny

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  • 1 month later...

Count me in with everyone else who avoids the telephone at all costs.  Also had no idea this was such an issue for so many other people.  It's good to be in good company.

I don't do small talk.  I do slightly better with business calls, since then I have a reason and a purpose for calling, but I still do as much through email as possible.  I'm better still when other people call me, because then the pressure is on them to come up with a topic of conversation. 

I feel put on the spot on the phone.  Quick, hurry up, think fast, have a reply, don't say anything stupid, pay attention to what the other person is saying, what should I say next?, is that appropriate? What if they ask me a question?  What if I don't have the answer?  Bah.  Plus there's no way to judge whether or not someone understands me over the phone.  At least in real life they can nod their head or smile or something.  Give me some sort of clue. 

Fortunately, the only people who call me at home are my parents and I'm ok with taking to them on the phone. 

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I love caller ID. It has made the phone into a tool that benefits me instead of being a gateway for strangers to enter my house. If I get a call from someone I know AND want to talk with, I'll answer. If not, I don't answer.

My phone, my house, my rules.

Greeny

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

and my way also Greeny!

just a wee bit of control in my life but oh it is wonderful

spike

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Just like Miss Manners says, the fact that the phone rings (or the doorbell) doesn't mean you have to answer it.

I'll take her advice one step further - I turn the ringer off, and check my messages when I feel like it.  There are friends that I like to talk to on the phone, but I prefer to choose the time.  And I like to get a cup of coffee and make all my annoying business calls at once and get it over with - doctor appointments, bank screw-ups, etc.  Then I unplug the phone again and put some nice music on!

If anyone is ignorant enough to say, "You never answer your phone!", my reply is that I must have just run out for a moment to take out the trash, or talk to the neighbors, or blah blah blah....

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I was corresponding with an interesting, and, apparently, attractive woman who lives nearby, but the whole thing kind of fell apart before it went anywhere because she has phone phobia and I dislike instant messaging. To me text chat combines the inability to revise of a phone call with the speed of composing prose. Or, rather, the slowness. Seems to sink infinite time without getting very far. And there aren't any tone cues.

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Alone the same lines, I also hate with a passion those telephone menu systems that respond to voice commands.  I just tried to call my health insurance company and couldn't do it because they have that kind of system and I couldn't say the stupid commands out loud.  Bah.  Now I'll have to go out to my car and use my cell phone to call from there.

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<3 <3 <3

I never knew anyone else with the same "phone thing" that I have! I HATEHATEHATE the phone! My family and friends don't understand why I must not be the one to order the pizza or talk to aunt so and so or even just call someone tomorrow. I get all flustery and I pace and it's just terrible when I have to make a call. I do better if someone calls me.. but even then, I quickly find myself lapsing into long periods of silence until eventually it is decided that we should hang up.

I am so happy to see I'm not the only one! (I guess that's selfish.. it really is a horrible thing that I wouldn't actively wish upon anyone)

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I've never been able to understand how people can enjoy talking on the phone for hours and hours. I can sit in a bar or restaurant with friends and bullshit with the best of 'em (or until my addled brain says "ENOUGH!" and I have to run home), but can't imagine sitting there talking into a phone.

My own cellphone is in permanent 'silent' mode, I usually leave my work cellphone at my desk, and I would prefer to text-mail friends rather than getting on the phone with them. Ugh.

When I do inadvertently pick up, I sit there paralyzed as the other person talkstalkstalks, and just wait, annoyed, looking for the perfect moment to jump in and end the conversation.

I'm not sure what internet voice chat is--I guess some voice pops up from the computer speakers? but nah, don't want any of that!

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SerraGeorge, I can definately relate to the pizza thing! ;)

Whenever I want to order pizza or some other delivery service, I'll get someone else to do it for me. If I want to call the supermarket to see if they have a certain item in stock, it won't be me doing the calling. I don't even like setting up my own doctor appointments by phone. If someone else in the house won't call for me, then I'm perfectly content just not going.

The weird thing is, I can be so talkative with friends on instant messager or face-to-face, but when it comes to that dreaded phone... *shudders* And when I talk to friends on the phone, they get angry at me and think I'm mad at them because I won't talk much!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Does anyone else do this ---

Call when you know the person isn't there, so you can leave a message to say everything it is that you had to call and say, even if it's 2 minutes long, and that way you don't have to talk to the person? 

When I call in to work sick, if someone answers I hang up on them. ;) Same goes for most any request I need to make of someone, or when I feel like the only way I won't impose on that person is to leave them a message then let them decide when they want to take the time to call me back.

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I used to think I had phone phobia, but it's more that speaking on the phone makes me too aware of my own voice. (It doesn't really matter much whether anyone is listening or not)

When I was little, I used to talk and sing and hum to myself quite a bit but once I became more aware that my own voice could actually be heard, I stopped for a long time.

If I have a "script" to stick to (like I can rattle it down) I tend to do OK but as soon as I become aware of my voice/that I am speaking, I panick.

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I dont know why...but when I answer the phone (whih I HAVE to, Im here alone and if the kids call home sick...well...) I always get real nervous and everyone that knows me says I sound overly professional...overly friendly...weird...I dont notice it...

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I DEPISE the telephone.  I never answer it and jump 30 feet when it rings!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Whenever the phone rings my heartbeat skyrockets. But I still have to answer the damn phone. The anxiety and startle response I get when the phone rings always makes me feel like whoever is calling needs help or is going to tell me about some emergency, so I always feel compelled to answer the phone.

Weird.

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Caller ID rules!

You know those people who don't carry on a conversation? they just blah blah blah about themselves? I've been trying to cut them out of my life. I used to be able to cope with them but now I just want to grab them by the throut and yell "SHUT THE HELL UP".So it's way easier to not answer when they call. Eventually they will just go away without any confrontation. They are energy vampires.

Then I have one former friend that used to leave her life story on my answering machine. By the time I finished listening to her I knew why she called and didn't have to call her back. I finally told her I wouldn't listen when I figured out it was her and wouldn't call her back unless the message was under 30 seconds long. She doesn't leave messages anymore, just5 calls back again and again till I feel like talking to her.

Control! It's a good thing ;)

C@

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Caller ID rules!

You know those people who don't carry on a conversation? they just blah blah blah about themselves?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I love those people! They make it so I don't have to think of anything to say... and in extreme cases, I don't even have to strictly pay attention! They get to blather on forever, I don't have to "interact," and extra bonus points... They feel like I'm such a good friend for being there for them! Win!

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Fortunately, no one other than people I am expecting at expected times call me on my cell phone.

But my heartbeat starts racing when I even have to listen to a message left by a person I'm not expecting.

Does anyone else avoid e-mails that they no might have something bad in them?  I will not open potentially bad e-mails for weeks and weeks.  And, when I am checking my inbox and I know there is a "potentially bad" e-mail in my inbox, I never press delete lest the next message that pops up be the one I'm trying to avoid.  I have a "potentially bad" e-mail that's been sitting in my inbox for a month now.

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Voice chat sounds awful, like phone calls but with multiple strangers on the other end. 

I hate the phone.  It took me forever to learn to answer it at work.  I would just go find something to do when it rang and hope people didn't notice my walking away from the ringing phone.  Now I do answer, and have to make work calls and it still isn't easy but I have gotten used to it.  People generally ask the same questions/ want the same things so the scripts are similar.  For the job I have now, I have to be available by phone so they can call me if they need me to work.  It sucks though because if I don't want to work that day, they keep calling, and I feel like I am being nagged and wont call them back.  My husband gets pissed if the phone rings and I don't answer.  He just doesn't get it that it makes me so panicky and angry.  But work calls are still much easier than the personal variety.

The phone is an intrusion to me.  It's like always being "on call."  Even with call ID becuase there are the "unavailable" #'s and people that call and don't use voicemail, and then I spend more time obsessing about what they may have wanted than if I had just picked up the phone.  And I HATE PEOPLE WHO DONT TELL ME WHY THEY ARE CALLING IN THEIR MESSAGE!!!  "Call me" is not a reason to leave a message.  Let me know what this is about or I will never call back. 

I hate the phone more than face to face because you can't see what kind of person you are talking to.  There is no way to read body language etc.  But it is real time so there is no way to have time formulate an adequate response to this faceless voice.  I feel so on the spot. I have a friend I am supposed to be calling but haven't.  Now she just sent me the voice chat invitation.  That is just not going to happen.  I have to have hubby set up my Trillian so I can IM and be spared all this voice crap. 

I've had to learn to make some of the phone calls (like delivery or bank accts.) but it still freaks me out.  I write down everything before hand even my own name and phone number in case I forget.  I spend about 15 min rehearsing what I am going to say before I call.  It has not gotten easier. If it was up to me I would never call anyone and I would turn the phone off and just leave voicemail on.  And then check only once a day. 

Speaking of delievries....Is there anyone else that absolutely refuses to answer the doorbell if it rings?  That one is worse than the phone to me.  I hate people coming to my house for any reason.

Emails~  I always read all my emails but I will fail to respond for months. Emails are another thing that feels like nagging to me so I just won't do it. Sometimes if I want to I will email right back.  It just depends on my mood at the time and who is emailing me. 

People who talk incessantly give me panic attacks.  (Literally) 

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CZgrrl,

My original post,

expressed my frustration,

with my inability to

communicate with a friendly,

nonjudgmental,patient group,

with which I share a common

interest.

Similar,

to standing at someones door,

not being able to knock.

Answering the door,

with a valued friend

on the outside.

The telephone is a whole 'nother matter,.

And I share many of every ones troubles.

I must deal with the phone,

my wife has

Spasmodic Dysphonia,

a vocal cord dystonia,

She can't,I can.

I wonder at times,

whether

I split off,

a phone personality ;)

Anyway,

we all share,a phones suck outlook.

Stasis

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You know those people who don't carry on a conversation? they just blah blah blah about themselves?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Those are the people I find I can talk to easier. They'll just keep talking and I won't have to say anything, just nod and say "Yeah." or "I see." every few minutes. I'm so bad at conversations, so people like that are really a stress-reliever for me ;) I don't have to talk much, but it's still social interaction! So I feel better.

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i hate hate hate talking on the phone or on voice chat (which a lot of people like to do when I play guild wars..>>)

i'll talk to people i know.  but not to people i don't know.  i get scared.  even though i'm just a voice.  >>

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i have no problems talking on the phone.

just as long as no one else is in the room or can hear me.

if someone is in the room or the doors not shut i point blank refuse to talk on the phone. i hate hate hate it. even something as impersonal as ordering takeaway.

i feel exposed and almost violated if someone watches me use a phone, or walks in on me while im on the phone.

i immediately stop talking until they leave. which must confuse and annoy the person on the other end, i appreciate that.

but i dont have social phobia.

schizoaffective

;)

dora

xx

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just as long as no one else is in the room or can hear me.

if someone is in the room or the doors not shut i point blank refuse to talk on the phone. i hate hate hate it. even something as impersonal as ordering takeaway.

i feel exposed and almost violated if someone watches me use a phone, or walks in on me while im on the phone.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ooh, I have that too, BADLY. I don't like talking out loud (on the phone) to start with, but as long as I am alone I can do it. But anyone walking in on me while I'm on the phone gets the door slammed in their face!

Same goes for reading anything personal or anything that triggers emotions. I often wondered whether this is related to what Donna Williams termed "exposure anxiety".

My Mum is a telephonist/receptionist so she could NOT understand this problem, she used to try and force me to ring people while she was stood there next to me, broke down in tears every time.  ;)

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My Mum is a telephonist/receptionist so she could NOT understand this problem, she used to try and force me to ring people while she was stood there next to me, broke down in tears every time.

Wow... that seems really mean... esp since you ended up in tears.  I suppose she was only trying to help you get over it, but that too much.

I just wanted to add that i too have phone phobia.... if i have an important call to make i end up putting it off for days if not weeks.  Sometimes gets me in trouble. 

All this stuff thats so easy and second nature for NORMAL people... is a struggle for me.  ugg im so sick of it!

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oooo yeah!! i have it with writing too!! i was very good at english, but if my teacher walked over and looked at what i was writing, id stop and put my pen down and cover up my work until he went away. i cant stand people reading things ive written that arent completely finished either. or when i am in the room.

dora

xx

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oooo yeah!! i have it with writing too!! i was very good at english, but if my teacher walked over and looked at what i was writing, id stop and put my pen down and cover up my work until he went away. i cant stand people reading things ive written that arent completely finished either. or when i am in the room.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes me too, not quite as badly as with phone calls though.

It's like I freeze up and my attention gets ripped away from what I am doing as soon as I sense someone watching me do it.

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oooo yeah!! i have it with writing too!! i was very good at english, but if my teacher walked over and looked at what i was writing, id stop and put my pen down and cover up my work until he went away. i cant stand people reading things ive written that arent completely finished either. or when i am in the room.

dora

xx

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh, yes. I LOVE to draw in my spare time, and when I was in high school, during the first day of class, I'd rush to claim the back right corner desk, so noone could watch me draw. And if I wasn't able to get that desk, I'd get uncomfortable thinking the person beside me to the left or behind me was watching, so I'd just sit there and not draw and be miserable...

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  • 1 month later...

i have no problems talking on the phone.

just as long as no one else is in the room or can hear me.

if someone is in the room or the doors not shut i point blank refuse to talk on the phone. i hate hate hate it. even something as impersonal as ordering takeaway.

i feel exposed and almost violated if someone watches me use a phone, or walks in on me while im on the phone.

i immediately stop talking until they leave. which must confuse and annoy the person on the other end, i appreciate that.

I hate talking on the phone at all except with a very few people, but I also have a major thing about this.  I can't talk if there's anyone around, and I can't write or type if someone's looking over my shoulder.  I can't even order a pizza with my husband in the same room. 

I hate chat and instant messaging almost as much.  Message boards are okay because the pressure to respond immediately isn't there--I never know when I'm going to freeze up and not be able to answer, so I can't do chat.  The only person who knows how to find me on IM is my husband--we message each other back and forth but I can't/won't with anyone else.

I've had various jobs that demand I interact with people on the phone, some tolerable (like now--I have to call vendors sometimes and field phone calls from customers, but it's not bad and I usually don't have to do more than give out directions or the store's hours with anyone else in earshot) and some absolutely not tolerable (like at a previous job, being told to spend every Monday morning checking the emergency contact info of new hires--can you say AWKWARD, calling people you don't know just to say, "Hi, I'm just calling to verify so-and-so's emergency contact information...")  Usually I learn to cope, but some of them, like the one where I got stuck verifying emergency contacts I just couldn't keep at.  I'd be in tears by the time I was even halfway done.  (And I was allowed to borrow the boss's office to do that since my desk didn't have a phone--if I'd had to do it around other people I would've had a nervous breakdown the first time I had to do it...)

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have been known to call when I know somoene isn't there.

I wish I had known about this site before cause I thought i was a freak. well...I HATE even the sound of the phone ringing.

I also won't have an answering machine because then they leave a message and expect me to call back.

My favorite is the person who knows quite fucking well that you live in an apt. and it would not take you 12 rings to get to the phone..yet they ring it, ring it, ring it. This one friend (?) has been calling for a year..she won't get e-mail and I won't answer the phone.

I also get very anxious before I make a call and will put it off cause I stammer and usually end up saying something like, "Ok, I'm starting over"..which usually gets me a sigh or silence ..and that freaks me out, too. Calling a doctor's office is the worst for me.

I know people who can sit and talk for hours. I don't get it.

I had a friend once who actually was very abrupt on the phone and we became close. I wasn't afraid to answer when she called cause she kept it very simple and hung up.

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