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So anxious


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I am so anxious. Well:

1.my husband is being a jerk about the divorce -- basically dragging it out. Making this not happen.

2. I'm fucking up my paperwork, not paying bills and so on. Not even opening them. I swore I would stop doing that, but I am again letting mail pile up. I am a jerk.

3. I'm not exercising.

4. I'm afraid to eat. (which means I don't eat and then binge.)

5. I want to cut. I want to very very very much. I really really want to.

6. I have so much paperwork to deal with, and every time I think about it, all I do is go back to bed.

7. I was supposed to store my minerals samples in nitrogen but I forgot how to use the tank and I spewed a bunch of compressed nitrogen out into the lab. STUPID STUPID STUPID

8. I'm having lots of trouble sleeping.

9. I feel like shit I feel like shit I feel like shit

10. I really really want to start cutting again. I want to cut. I really really really want to.

11. I've about had it.


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