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"True" Happiness or Hypomania?


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So, I started feeling a little bit "better" yesterday. That should be good, right? But I have two problems with it. One, I can barely say it (or write it) because I'm terrified I'll "jinx" it. Two, I am nervous that I'm getting hypomanic which would mean I'd have to stop my 1 mg (yes, 1 mg) of Celexa which has helped with the anxiety.

The worst part of it is I can't get manic, or even hypomanic, because I can't drink (had an addiction problem) and if I get high, my thoughts get distorted, leading to drinking, yadda, yadda, yadda.

How do others handle this? When it's been, like, seventeen years since you felt naturally happy, how do you know that that's what you're feeling and it's not hypomania? I can't f-ing remember what "true" happiness is supposed to feel like.

- Kiki

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Kiki,

Insight and forward planning is good. But you can take it too far by sabotaging any good time you have by labelling it hypomania. Have your pdocs no and some meds ready and wait and see. In the mean time, enjoy this for what I'm sure it is, a joyful time.

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Kiki,

i think true happiness is calm, slow building and long lasting. mania is instant gratification for the next moment of elation

it's terrific that you are this aware of what's going on. like karuna said thou labeling it hypomania might be unfair.

can you pinpoint it to an event external or internal which may have started this? or does it feel in your body like feel?

probably you've just gotten so used to feeling not good that something doesn't seem right when you are actually just plain happy

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So, I started feeling a little bit "better" yesterday. That should be good, right? But I have two problems with it. One, I can barely say it (or write it) because I'm terrified I'll "jinx" it. Two, I am nervous that I'm getting hypomanic which would mean I'd have to stop my 1 mg (yes, 1 mg) of Celexa which has helped with the anxiety.

One. been there.

Two. been there (except for the Celexa part).

I do not have some useful advice, just to let you know you're not alone. Feeling good is something you have to get used to, after zillions of years of feeling like crap. it takes time, but it is possible, and when it happens, it's like pink cotton candy. fades fast, but the taste stays for a while ;)

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I have the same problem with having a 'happy' day. Just lately, I have had some 'good' days--mild but better than I've been feeling which has been okay (what I've been calling 'baseline'). Yet somehow I'll feel kind of like I've had too much caffeine (I am keeping my caffeine limited). Like I have extra internal energy. So then I wonder if it is a 'natural' good day or a small BP blip on the radar screen. I've been rating those days as 'mildly elevated'. Today I had a 'good' day, but had anxiety for no reason at the end of the day and tension in my jaw tonight. Who the hell knows?

I am using moodtracker.com so it's interesting to keep track of these moods. But it still doesn't give any answers.

Oreo

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hypo periods will come with other symptoms, like the desire to shop, be reckless, do drugs/alcohol, etc. happiness is a natural warmth that doesn't feel compulsive. hypo periods compel you to do something, but happiness doesn't. does that make sense? i guess you could feel compelled still, but it would be the exception and not the rule.

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  • 2 weeks later...

We feel what we feel. Reality plays a role in determining what we feel and disease does too. There is no test to tell the two apart; I mean it's a messy mix. We are bipolar and bipolar is us. What I've learned: don't question it when you feel ok, the disease cheats you often enough; enjoy it while it lasts

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