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was at my SO's past few days. this morning i opened my laptop and there was a firefox tab open to a webpage i did not browse to. and honestly my mistake, but my main CB page was up behind it, which i normally close. now my laptop was sitting in the living room, rather in a sorta use me position and house culture would dicate "ok to use, courtsey ask if owner is nearby." whoever opened the new tab, would have seen CB. i want to say that doesn't bother me. i mean whatever it's not like my MI is a secret from my friends. how i deal with it thou kinda is. i have nice divsions in my life and most days the blessing of appearing, sounding, and like i've lived my whole life "normal". that works for me.

On CB thou i can be the loony i actually am in a way that is safe because you all understand. Now my boyfriend and our good friend/housemate, well they saw the worst of my psychotic break and that was really hard on/scray for everyone. it's not fair to go to that place with them. so i separate out my life. i know i can trust them to be there in bad times, but during the good times i want those relationships to exist outside of all that shit.

i feel like this minor thing is making me confront a major merger in my life that i just don't want. when i found CB i told my bf, "hey i found a support group online, it's helping, i'd prefer you don't go snooping around for it. not that i don't ever want you should see it, i just want it to myself now. Him: Ok" I totally trust that my bf respects that desire, it's not really a question. week ago i was at the house and noticable closed a window and/or turned my computer when friend got close. he and i are both the paranoid type, so that's not helping. he gave me kinda a curious look. i probably should have been open with him then, cuz normally that's how we operate.

so perfectly possible it was bf and i don't remember (would have been nearby and asked) or friend discovered my "secret" on the way to google an actor name he couldn't remember. unlikely it was thrid housemate. either way the new tab was left up and not closed, which would be the courtesy. so either someone was as forgetful as me or someone wants to talk about this and not have secrets, which would be characteristic of friend. damn it,think i'll be talking about this in the not-cyber world.

any suggestions from those of you have likewise been discovered?

i admit this was a danger i signed up for.

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I don't know about suggestions, but I'll share some thoughts.

First of all, he agreed to stay out of CB. He's a little paranoid, too, so he fully understands what a boundary violation it would be if he snooped through your posts after specifically saying he wouldn't. No matter what he reads if he is reading CB, he either has to keep it to himself and say nothing or talk to you about what he read and expose himself as someone who goes back on his word. Either way, if he has read your stuff on CB, the burden is on him.

I'm a private, seriously private person. When my son was still living at home, I got in the habit of closing all tabs and clearing my history and temp files whenever getting off the computer, and not letting the computer do its "fill in the blanks" thing. He's out of the house now, but I still do the same thing.

If you want CB to be your inviolable space, you're going to have to be more careful about logging out and clearing your cache. In reality, though, there's really no privacy on the internet. If someone really wants to find you, they will.

Going forward, you could re-register under a new name and be more careful about logging out and closing tabs. Or, you could develop an attitude of, "Hey, this is my crazy space. Read it at your own risk and against my specific wishes, but don't talk to me about it because it's none of your damn business."

It's an awkward situation. I wish you well.

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It's really better if you don't hide from people who want to support you. They should have no trouble accepting you for who you are. Maybe you're having a bit of trouble accepting it yourself?

As you say, it's not like they don't know you're bipolar since they were there for your break. That's not the kind of thing you can hide anyway.

If you have reason to think they were snooping, on the other hand, it's certainly understandable that you might feel violated.

If you want your usename changed, PM one of the adminfolk.

Edit:

Something else to think about: If he was snooping it might have been because he was looking for info on how to be more supportive because you're so closed off about this.

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Thanks for your responses guys, i was starting to worry about 0 reply topics.

just to clarify, my boyfriend was the one with whom i had an agreement. i asked today and he didn't use my computer, so it was proabably our friend/housemate who i had no agreements with.

reflecting on all of this i do need to talk to him (friend), its overdue

VE: thank you, and damn you for always hitting the nail on the head. ;)

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I was actually going to start a similar post before I found yours--

my roommate (and best friend) walked in my room while I had CB open and saw the name of one of my meds and asked if I was reading up on it, then 'oh, is that a board?', 'man, I should get on there' etc. I told her that I love it here and showed her the main page and I really think that she's going to join.

I'm all bent out of shape.

I don't really know why though, I mean, I DO talk to her about all my MI stuff and meds, etc. and she's been recently inducted into the world of pdocs and an AD herself, so I feel like I should keep her away from such a great, supportive place-- BUT I feel really weird about the idea of her or anyone I know reading all of my posts, I feel like I really spill here and can be completely caught up in my own issues sometimes (rather than talking to a friend in person since you *both* get the floor) and people here get that, we kindof take turns asking and giving advice but they aren't all mixed up in one conversation.

So why did I tell her all about it? I don't know. I don't want to hurt her feelings and it's really really nothing against her, I love the girl and she's always there for me, but I'm feeling selfish and don't want to share my CB :-P

aargh. anyway, I can relate! Good luck talking to your friend, I'm sure it will go fine,

meg

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I was actually going to start a similar post before I found yours--

my roommate (and best friend) walked in my room while I had CB open and saw the name of one of my meds and asked if I was reading up on it, then 'oh, is that a board?', 'man, I should get on there' etc. I told her that I love it here and showed her the main page and I really think that she's going to join.

I think that most people, stumbling into an "overshare" post will initially read for curiosity's sake, sure.

But, and maybe this is a generational thing, that is often followed by "I didn't need to know that" and "Note to self: think twice before reading personal-sounding topics started by <fill in the blank>"

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I don't leave CB signed on with anything except for my personal computer. If it's shared, I just log-out. A couple people know about this site.. mainly by me personally showing them one entry or another b/c it expresses myself better than I could have at the time. But I don't believe anyone is checking up on me with it. I have had my mom come and visit me and need to use the comp, but I just make her open up another browser (I have 4). She doesn't really notice much though.

I don't exactly hide my CB activity.. I've had the same username for everything since I was 13. But my personal stuff is just that. Personal. I expect (if someone does come across it) to just keep it to themselves and not talk about it unless I bring it up. I like keeping my worlds separate.

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I am very open with everyone close to me about my MI (except my mom and Dad). I do, however, love my anonymity on forums such as these, mainly because it is a world-wide public forum, and I wish to discuss private issues here.

My husband's cousin visits regularly and always uses my laptop. He found out that I am BP because I bookmarked a bunch of sites about BP, and he checked my bookmarks. He was obviously snooping. Later he brought up BP in a way that I surmised that he had peeked at my bookmarks, so I told him about my BP. But I didn't tell him about this forum, and if I suspected that my anonymity had been compromised here, I would change my identity. CrazyBoards wouldn't be much help to me if I had to worry about what I disclosed here.

--B

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