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Minor episode peaking through?


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Hmmmmm.

So, I'm not suicidally depressed...I'm not crying all the time, I'm not in the middle of a major depression basically. BUT, I just feel off.

I sometimes go to bed really early at 7:30 pm just because I don't want to be awake. Concentration shot to hell, and I just get this overwhelming feeling that I'm coming unraveled...yet when I'm talking to people I feel and present myself as put together.

On Monday I had an entire day of feeling inadequate and worthless...even though I know cognitively this was not true, I FELT it all day.

I should preface that my life has gone through a lot of change lately. Moved to a new city...got my first job after completing my masters degree, got a new apartment, hooked back up with my ex...lots of change and all of it good, positive stuff.

Even those positive good things are going on I feel like I'm going to fuck it up somehow.

Energy wise/motivation wise I'm still really keeping up with my work load, social life, exercise, etc. I'm maintaining all the activites I need to be doing to be a happy, healthy individual.

And from the feedback I get from others, everyone seems to fooled. Everyone around me seems to think I'm on top of my game and have everything going for me...yet I feel like I am drowning underneath it all.

Ugh...

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That's great everything sounds to be really going well for you. It may just be all the turmoil and change in your life, even little things like eating and sleeping and sunlight patterns can affect your moods. Or maybe you would want to check with your p/t doc just to be sure. But in any case congratulations on how well everythings going for you.

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It's so hard to know when to call the doc, to know when you need to take action or just weather a brief dip in mood. And it feels stupid to call your doc and say that nothing's really wrong yet, but it could be.

What makes it worthwhile to call the doc is realizing that it's much easier to prevent a recurrence of depression than it is to treat it into remission once it's in full force.

Trust your intuition. If you didn't feel something was wrong, you wouldn't have bothered to write this post. Everything you describe is a symptom of depression. This can be a hard time of year with the days getting shorter and the holidays approaching, and not a good time to let things slide.

Maybe a med tweak, maybe some short term therapy. Maybe you're just fine. But it's worth checking into.

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The positive changes are fabulous, congratulations! But, even so, ANY changes can be so stressful, doesn't matter if they're good or bad. It's easy to get overwhelmed, and yes, I agree, it sounds like the symptoms of depression. You might need a med tweak to get you through it? Absolutely, call your pdoc, you don't want to fall apart before you adjust to your new life.

Good luck!

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Problem is...is with my new job and moving to a new city, I don't have insurance yet or a pdoc or a tdoc anymore. I plan on getting both when insurance kicks in...in about 2 months.

So yeah. Should I call my old pdoc from the University I went too? I mean, she was like a student/resident psychiatrist there and I think she was done with her internship so I don't really even have her number.

Or maybe I"m making excuses, because I don't want to have to admit I'm not managing my self well enough.

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Problem is...is with my new job and moving to a new city, I don't have insurance yet or a pdoc or a tdoc anymore. I plan on getting both when insurance kicks in...in about 2 months.

So yeah. Should I call my old pdoc from the University I went too? I mean, she was like a student/resident psychiatrist there and I think she was done with her internship so I don't really even have her number.

Or maybe I"m making excuses, because I don't want to have to admit I'm not managing my self well enough.

Yes, you should call her! I think you know that, really. Call the Psychiatry Department--I'd be surprised if they wouldn't give you her number.

Congratulations! I'm impressed that you've been able to do so much while depressed. It's a heck of a lot more more than I've accomplished--or, for that matter, most un-depressed people. Therefore, I wonder why you're saying you aren't "managing myself well enough"?

Hypothesis--maybe the negative feelings you're having now stem from expecting things to go badly when your moods were worse, leaving those nagging feelings in your brain. I agree with the person who said a touch-base on meds and therapy are in order.

In any event, don't beat yourself up. You've accomplished an awful lot despite your depression. I hope you'll find a pdoc/tdoc despite our country's illogical and sub-par insurance system to help you actually ENJOY your achievements!

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Should I call my old pdoc from the University I went too? I mean, she was like a student/resident psychiatrist there and I think she was done with her internship so I don't really even have her number.

Or maybe I"m making excuses, because I don't want to have to admit I'm not managing my self well enough.

I think you should call. Coming from the University, she may be able to see or talk to you on that (usually less expensive) basis - or at least get you in contact with someone who can. Depending on your income, you could also qualify for the programs that send you free medication through the mail. I think the cap is somewhere in the 20's.

I think you're doing quite well... and being proactive to boot.

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