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visions of clobbering my boss & coworkers


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hi,

i know i'm hypersensitive and a mite paranoid but sometimes the slights and insults just keep piling up and i get sooo angry. and i don't know, is it the disorder? or is it me being ridiculous? i often feel like they don't treat me like a real person--just extra hired help to be heard from only when spoken to. which i could deal with if they didn't seem to also expect me to jump in with great input. friggin' mixed messages. then i overthink it since that's what i do. i have quite a few visions of me smacking the boss and my coworkers, stabbing them with an icepick (there's no blood). since i really need this job, i can't even let loose a sarcastic comment. so i am left seething--i shut down and get really passive-aggressive which the boss finds even more irksome.

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I don't know what to advise, but I think a lot of people who are working at less than ideal jobs feel something like this, perhaps in a milder form. I know I have. Used to have visions of tying my boss in a chair and dumping icewater over his head until he woke up to reality.

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you don't mention which drugs you are taking now

none the less I say CALL the freakin doc

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i'm on 100mg lamictal, 25-50mg seroquel prn. truth be told, of all the jobs i've had, this is the best.  it's because the folks really are quite nice (if you kind of squint and look at them from the right angle) that i suspect it's probably me...i'll bring this up with pdoc. Thank you chUCKIT for giving me the courage to entertain a med adjustment. and thanks Ido for the input!

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Not much adice i can give, as i am only 5 months dx ed . What I can tell you is i know how you feel. I had to stop doing personal training cause of similar stuff. I now have a job at half the money and a commitment to not "RENT ANY SPACE in my head" I am on 1800mg of lithiu 25 mg of seraqual and 54 mgs of concerta. Some times I feel Ok. At least I aware when the crazynes starts.

Goodluck

you don't mention which drugs you are taking now

none the less I say CALL the freakin doc

you are feeling rage, right? I'd say you need a med adjustment just from the feeling of anger alone.

No one is gonna know if what you are specifically feeling is because of bp/yada yada. But yes my pdoc told me almost allll his patients that complain of rage are dx'd bp.

Either way treat your symptom and look for another job in your spare time, seriously. Stress @ work = unhappy @ home in MO.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i'm on 100mg lamictal, 25-50mg seroquel prn. truth be told, of all the jobs i've had, this is the best. it's smack-dab in the cross-hairs of my career trajectory, and from the anecdotal evidence, the office culture is one of the friendliest, warmest in the business. strange how everyone still seems vaguely political and scared. no...i'm afraid i know things don't get much better than this. in fact, every day i thank the heavens for letting me work there. and it's precisely because the folks really are quite nice (if you kind of squint and look at them from the right angle) that i suspect it's probably me...i'll bring this up with pdoc. Thank you chUCKIT for giving me the courage to entertain a med adjustment. and thanks Ido for the input!

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when i have these sort of visions about my work, and know that it will be very stressful i take a xanax or 2 with me. it will relax me enough to listen to the bullshit and not get quite so worked up. ;)

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