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Let me start this off with saying that life is very stressful right now. With that stress, my depression has gotten worse. I hear voices ( different from mine) that are angry and tell me "you should do this". I like to drink and that has kept me from taking meds as best that i should. You will see by my signature that I am on a lot of meds for everything ...when i take them. I just want to be normal and I think i am coming to the realization that that may not be for a while if ever. In some ways i have been this way all my life , the depression , the voices, the cutting. I am just now recieving meds. I am not totally honest with my pdoc, because i don't want to stop drinking every once in a while etc...

What do you all think?

Manny

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manny,

i think that your complete mental health diet is in bad shape. that is sorely preventing feeling "normal" and moving towards that end. get through this time best you can. then think about where you should position yourself in the future. see what you can do about stress and having a pdoc that you can trust. secrets eat you up. you are not the voices demands, you are you, here asking for help on CB. in all hopes you find it. maybe there is professional in your area to better understand and assist with these issues. all my strength and sympathy to ya

Eva

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I agree. Maybe you could take a moment to sit back and examine your life from a different perspective. You basically know you are hurting yourself by your behaviour right now. Do you have a tdoc? Now would be a really good time to see one. Take care, mel.

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Manny-

Are you drinking to self-medicate your anxiety?? I slip into this habit on occasion. Seems like folks w/ PD have this problem more than other folks. Me and tequila.......oops!!

Alcohol starts me up and makes me cycle. It's not a good scene. Alcohol is the last thing you need if you have depressive symptoms.

Also, have you ever been dx'd as bipolar?? Anxiety+depression could be an indicator.

SZS

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Manny-

Are you drinking to self-medicate your anxiety?? I slip into this habit on occasion. Seems like folks w/ PD have this problem more than other folks. Me and tequila.......oops!!

Alcohol starts me up and makes me cycle. It's not a good scene. Alcohol is the last thing you need if you have depressive symptoms.

Also, have you ever been dx'd as bipolar?? Anxiety+depression could be an indicator.

SZS

+++ I have not been diagnosed BP, but have some tendencies in that regard. Right now I am working toward a AP that will help with ruminating thoughts etc. Alcohol makes me feel very relaxed better than the Klonopin

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+++ I have not been diagnosed BP, but have some tendencies in that regard.

What tendencies do you have for BP? Anything I don't know about?

FWIW, you don't really strike me as BP. (At least not a normal one) Especially since a Paxil/Risperdal combo didn't make you manic or anything. I do think there can be gradients though.

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