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put a gun to my head and just shoot me


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hey ya'll  day 2 no freakin valuim,  woke up cuz back was killing me, trying to roll around so i can go back to sleep, not happening, at 10:02 siezers are kicking in.  Start littel working on my way to hell.  These docs of mine are good, and i really believe they will see me through till the end ,,,but the fuckin sucks.  I am beginning to wonder if they got the damn diagnoses right, the vidoe eeg or whatever the fuck it is called i was tld that it be be done anywhere from one to 7 days, they did about two hours, and that is it, once again judged by my lousy histor from birth to about 7 god damned years ago.  Will be calling docs on moms day off, it would probably take me 12 , yes 12 hours to spit out what the hell i need to say becuase now i am stuttering so bad its not even worth talking, my left side is usualy worst then my right and i am left handed, go figure, god must be feeling pretty twisted  to help me out with this one. on the brighter side i can write with my right and just not as well as my left hand does and i can sign the abc's not that any body in this damn house knows there abc's so i have to go really slow till they figure in out. I swear to god that if they drag me back up for another video eeg,,,, it won't be pretty.  i am a bitch when i don't get my sleep, and just like that red neck mother of mine, once i reach a certain point the wrath of julia will rain donw on you,  the good side is its takes me much longer to reach that point the my damn mother,  the bad news is i hit that point yesterday, and get to hold it all in till the 19th and unless mom can get it through the 8 years or more of college tiny little brains that this SUCKS and i can not do this shit till the 19,  I will lose my grourds and go pshyco.  Oh and i am making the pshyco therapist a cute little tissue box, each side will say something different

1.  SSDD,  (stephen king, dream catcher, same shit different day.

2.  THIS SUCKS

3.  HEARS YOUR SIGN,  ( first session he asked the stupid question, what are my expectation,  If i had been on stage as ron white, i would have conked by head with the microphone and said, MY FUCKING LIFE BACK, hears your sign)

4.  Don't know whats going on that side feel free to  give suggestions.

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