Jump to content

New and a bit nervous

Recommended Posts

Hello to all!!

This is the third time I have introduced myself. The first time was on crazymeds, then poof it went down, That same day. I then went to mood garden and got no replies to my intro- and now I am here. This seems like a better fit for me from viewing the topics.

I am not sure why I am nervous. Kinda feel like I am making a speech to alot of people or something. Most posts are very good from what I have read...am just hoping I can add to this forum.

My story briefly I suppose-

I started getting sick when I was 18. HAd a wicked hallucination at the college dining hall. Scared me to death. I did not know what was wrong with me until 36 years old and my dx came. At that time I was so sick with anxiety that I could no longer work in a professional capacity. I am a chiropractor by trade, and could no longer touch people without major anxiety episodes. I was getting confused and could no longer make assessments.

Thats when I got help. I could not beleive it when they told me (after a battery of tests and interviews) that I was BP1. I did not even know what it meant. I used to tell my pdoc that I did not know what the hell a mood was, and she irritatingly kept asking me about mine.

After getting a new pdoc, and the next two years of painstaking medication management I can finally say that I am experiencing a better existence.

My father is BP1, my mother looks like a BPD, and definetly OCD. My brother is schizo affective BP type. Everyone else of my 8 sibling crew looks either depressed, lost or substance abusers. Being from a family of "natural Healers" it was hard to admit that I needed medication, and hard for others to understand, But I kept an open mind, and I cannot beleive the difference it has made in my life.

Looking back on my life so far, those bleak mental spots are finally making sense. All those experiences have names-hallucinations, visual and auditory,voices, delusions.. those are fun, paranoia, anxiety, apathy and terrible mind numbing depression. I had become so accustomed to it, I did not know the difference between healthy and unhealthy.

I think I knew all along that I was sick, but did not know what it was called, or more importantly chose to be in denial because I was afraid of it.

I am so glad to be here. truly. I have a group of people to which whom I belong.

Thanks for reading.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

GD, welcome. i'm sorry, i'm having a bad day, so to be honest, i couldn't read your story, my mind is too clouded. but just know that this is a GREAT place, and don't be nervous, jump right in and ask questions and talk. this is a wonderful, wonderful place to be. the mods are great, and i know one will be along any minute now to welcome you and such.

Edited to add: don't worry about what you say... we all say the right things, and the wrong things, too much or too little, and it's all just fine. 99.9% of the time, we all get along, and respect each other's opinions, and that's what makes this place so great, the sheer diversity of knowledge and experience. Just had to throw that in.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Welcome to the boards. I think you'll like it here. I've gotten lots of support and good advice here and think you'll find the same. And not to brag, but this bunch is generally more intelligent and much better writers than your average crazy forum, which makes it more enjoyable to read. See you round,


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome GD - I didn't get dx'd until this year too! (I was 35 and am now 36). Crazy runs in my family, although, my sis (who was dx'd early on) and I are the only ones brave enough to admit it and get help for it. It's wild to learn that all that stuff you thought was normal was just, well, crazy, isn't it? I love being here - it's helped me tremendously in so many ways.

I hope you settle in and enjoy yourself here ;) .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to the boards GD! I love Crazyboards, people are really insightfull.

Your post was very inspiring. I've been seeking help for a few years now and my denial about a lot of things is lifting. Things I used to think were normal appear completely batty now ;)

Anyway, enjoy your stay. See you around.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


I too didn't get a full dx until I was 41 and spent many years looking for solutions in complimentary medicine and alternative beliefs. I worked as a counsellor and a massage therapist - Swedish, deep tissue and Shiatsu but after 5 years I couldn't deal with working with people anymore. I did macrobiotics for 2 years and it did help to some degree - especially with PMS - but the illness was always there.

I don't classify myself as being sick but see me and the illness as separate. I think it's important to distinquish otherwise I would use it as a depowering reason for "being defective".

For me CBs rocks!!!

Welcome again

Hawk ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HI earthcalling!!

love your name. OMG, wow, I spent a lot of years looking for answers in alternative medicine too. I just couldn't take enough of the right vitamin, etc...I can really relate to your post.

I understand what you mean about not identifying oneself totally with an illness.

I think of it in terms of getting a cold, like being sick that way.

I hope I did not offend anyone by the word, I just use it interchangeabley with illness.

Hope to see you around, thanks for responding to my post. I have already felt like people care about eachother in this forum. Its really cool.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...