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You might try to be totally positive. This is no time to air your legitimate complaints.Be positive about the sermon, be positive about the ex-husband, be positive about your  children be positive about how you are doing. Maybe when the kids grow up the kids can say Mom had problems but Mom was positive with us. This is no time to tell your side of the story except to say you had the kids live with their father because you love them assuming the kids ask.

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Sunshine:

I'm so happy to hear YOU sounding happy---ain't it grand when the meds work???

I have a stepson who was a teenager when I married his dad.  We are readers and sedentary people, but he loved boats and engines and machines.  So we used to take him to boat shows and old-time farm machinery exhibits and armament museums (he also likes guns) and places that interested him...even if we were only marginally interested.

Talking to them is a good thing, but they're also guys.....and they might like it if, after church, you could do some things with them that you couldn't do when you were ill.  Take them to an amusement park, or to a stock-car race or a ball game---you know more about their interests than I do.  I have a (female) friend who got involved in Civil War reinactments with her son.  She dresses in the period costume and he gets to wear a uniform and camp out with the other "soldiers" and he loves it.

If you have anxieties that prevent you from being in crowds, could you take them home and cook dinner for them?  Somehow, talking is easier when you do it around the dinner table.  My stepson and I had our best talks in the kitchen---he was always hungry, and I love to cook.

Just some thoughts, and good luck with this new life.

olga

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glad to hear your upbeat, ask them what they would like to do. what they are into, rent a video,,,my memory is the shits and even though i just read your message, i cant remember if it sounded like you know a lot about your boys.  If not start there, sometime talking is the best solution.  get to know them, let them know that you have always loved them and that you are going to do your best to be thier mom.

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