ChemistryExperiment Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 SHE fUCKING DUMPEDME! Damn whore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mel1 Posted December 7, 2007 Share Posted December 7, 2007 why? and i'm sorry. i would be devastated if mine dumped me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemistryExperiment Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 Because I was told by the group home that I was in for a while that I needed to see her.... so I called her to start seeing her again and she's like "Sorry.... I'm going to have to say I can't see you any more" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 I'm sorry you are upset about that. It's hard to leave a good therapist. I suspect there is more to the story you haven't told us. Like, she only works with patients in the house, or you are under a different insurance plan, or the two of you had some difficulty. a.m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemistryExperiment Posted December 8, 2007 Author Share Posted December 8, 2007 I attempted suicide.... thats what I didn't say..... but if your client attempts suicide thats NOT the time to dump them.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 Well, certainly not the next morning. However, it can be upsetting or traumatic for the therapist as well. And she may feel that having reached that point, she has exhausted her ability to help you, and that you would be better served by going to a new therapist. It's a two way street. If either of you aren't happy with the relationship, then it's better for you to go elsewhere. a.m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Posted December 8, 2007 Share Posted December 8, 2007 It can be very upsetting to the clinician indeed. I was talking to a student in a similar situation, and her response was, "Well, too bad, he should cowboy up and deal with it, that's why he gets paid." (I'm not saying that you said this, Febreze.) Except that it isn't why a clinician gets paid or goes to work. A clinician works on your behalf, but, if s/he feels it's unsafe or inappropriate to continue, needs to step aside. At some point, a clinician will have to 'fire' a patient who strikes her (I'll use female gender for convenience) as too complex or labile to manage safely. No one wants a dead patient. That's simple human decency. Clinical training emphasizes that when one is unable to provide adequate care, for whatever reason, one needs to stop providing INadequate or potentially inadequate care. Trying to shoulder more than one can carry as a clinician isn't the answer. If you wanted your therapist to perform a total knee replacement, she'd say "no," and it might hurt your feelings, but you'd understand it. That's a ludicrously extreme example, of course. Still: if she doesn't feel it's safe, it's probably best that she not provide care that she feels she shouldn't. Kind of like when the pilot announces a grounded plane for mechanical reasons... OK by me! You don't want to fly? I don't want to fly. Also, the clinician/patient relationship has mutual obligations. I am obligated by the patient role to tell my psyMD if I'm thinking about killing myself. That's part of being a patient. If I break this very basic and fundamental obligation, the trust in the relationship is sabotaged. If I can't commit to that role, it's my duty to tell her that. She has the option then to tell me to come back when I'm ready to be a patient. I'm sorry for your grief and loss, Febreze, and you're clearly in a great deal of distress and very angry. It sounds very frightening. But consider that it may be motivated by the desire for you to survive and do well, not as a form of personal rejection. Can your psychiatrist help refer you to another therapist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemistryExperiment Posted December 9, 2007 Author Share Posted December 9, 2007 The problem is I dissociated... I didn't do it on freaking purpose.. and I'd been telling her for weeks I felt unsafe and on the edge... I had been telling EVERYONE that.. my parents, friends, doctors, therapist.... NO ONE TOOK ME SERIOUSLY. How is it MY fault when I gave AMPLE warning signs that I was in danger and they just fed me to the wolves, is it MY fault that she should stop therapy? I TOLD HER I HAD A PlAN A WEEK BEFORE... I TOLD HER That I had tried slitting my throat a week before, That i'd tried throwing myself down flights of stairs.... she didn't listen. how is that my fault? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Posted December 9, 2007 Share Posted December 9, 2007 Nowhere did I say it was your fault, Febreze. Or anyone's fault. It may be that she just doesn't believe she has the skill and availability that you need, and she's unwilling to provide insufficient care to someone who's at high risk for self-harm. It sounds backwards, maybe, but it is likely motivated by the desire to keep you safe, not the desire to reject you. It sucks. However, it sounds like you're going to need a new therapist anyway. What's the first step in finding one? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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