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Guest Melinda

I am going to a county mental health place for care these days and so far I am not very impressed. I had seen a good doctor in another state who diagnozed BP 1 mixed and has monitored me for two years. I felt that diagnosis finally explained a lot.

Now I come here (in another state) and they have me as major depressed with BPD and not only that, but I had to sign off on a treatment plan that also had in parenthesis next to the BPD diagnosis (avoidant, dependent, narcissitic personality disoder). I told her I didn't agree with that at all and barely believe in BPD as a thing by itslef not associated with some kind of BP spectrum disorder.

She said it comes from growing up in a abusive environment and is learned. My mother is rather borderline and I will admit I have tendencies of it but I don't run around manipulating people and doing some of the things so called BPD do. I outgrew a lot of it.

But to label me NPD? that just really angered me. I went home and looked that one up and I am NOTHING like that. And this is all getting submitted for my SSDI claim! So now I look like a manipulative user? I have physical disability as well and I really need any help I can get.

She did cross it off but made me initial it. I didn't have time to discuss it with her as the session was ending, but I ended up staying an hour later for anger management group after that. I was just shaking.

I honestly don't agree with any of thier diagnosises. My last pdoc had it right I feel and I trusted him.

Now they have me on an SNRI and Wellbutrin and I am really manic by now - not sleeping, not eating and really angry.

I called this tdoc and left her a message saying I didn't know if I want to come back to therapy after that - that they have seen me a total of two times in group and three times in therapy and that they really know nothing about me and what kind of therapy is this to hand someone in crisis a diagnosis like that to now have to think about on top of all else?

I asked a couple of my freinds who know a lot about psychology as well to let me know if they really think I am NPD and they said that is way out of line and obviously a mistake of some sort or overgeneralization on thier part.

It just upsets me because how am I supposed to be able to trust these people now to talk about things without them putting everything I am going through down as being a narcissist?

Of course I am self-centered right now!!! I am fighting for my surivival. Of course I said I wished I had it more to gether and had what other people my age have by now. Why does everything have to be a fucking disorder! These things are not helping me. - they are just making me feel like i have serious fucked up problems and tempting me to think there is a lot more wrong with me than there actually is. I don't need it.

Where do these quacks get off?

I just don't know what to do. I let my feelings be known and I don't want to be non-compliant because I need thier help through social services so I can get out of an abusive living situation with a borderline mother and I need to get disability and medicaid so I can get some help finally with my medical problems, but I really don't trust the tdoc anymore. I dont do well wtih the tough love strong arm type stuff and isn't that how they treat BPD and NPD types?

I am now in a 12-step recovery program and I feel that is going to help me more. Maybe I do need the therapy but I don't need these things on my record when they are not true. I can go along somewhat with the BPD, avoidant, and dependt (a little) as before I got sick I was very independent. but the NPD is a fucking insult added to injury.

Thanks for letting me vent. Have any of you BPDs had that attached to your BPD diagnosis. I am tryingn to figure out if this is just something they attach to it since it was in parenthesis and maybe I shouldn't be so upset about it - as if it is going to follow me around through another other treatment.

Can I ask for a second opinion or to switch therpists or is that going to look "manipulative"?

I have to go to group tomorrow now and face this woman again and I don't know how to show up and be productive in group or invdividual therapy after this.

Thanks for any input or advice. 

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I let my feelings be known and I don't want to be non-compliant because I need thier help through social services so I can get out of an abusive living situation with a borderline mother and I need to get disability and medicaid so I can get some help finally with my medical problems, but I really don't trust the tdoc anymore.
My advice to you is to go along with the tdoc for the time being--and good for you for making your feelings known!, as it did have an impact on your dx--and when you get on medicaid you'll have a much broader range of tdocs and pdocs to work with and possibly get a different dx through.  There has been some heavy duty slashing of the medicaid budget recently, and depending on which state you're in you might be facing prescription restrictions (they might limit people to 3 a month) and less tdoc visits, etc.  So be sure to familiarize yourself with the new guidelines (hopefully they won't be onerous). 

I had seen a good doctor in another state who diagnozed BP 1 mixed and has monitored me for two years. I felt that diagnosis finally explained a lot.

Now I come here (in another state) and they have me as major depressed with BPD and not only that, but I had to sign off on a treatment plan that also had in parenthesis next to the BPD diagnosis (avoidant, dependent, narcissitic personality disoder).

I had the exact opposite happen to me.  I was first dxed MDD with BPD, and now I'm tentatively BP with Borderline traits...though the BP could be temporal lobe epilepsy (getting an MRI and EEG done next week), so I really don't know what's what at this point. 

Oh, and according to pdoc I've got Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder.  I think I might be Avoidant, too, but we haven't discussed it yet.

Try to keep in mind that if they haven't seen you regularly for several months (at least), the dx is really just an opinion.  From what I understand it can be difficult to dx PDs and they sometimes change depending on whom you're seeing.  Nothing is written in stone. 

You certainly don't impress me as being NPDed.  I think a true narcissist would be less fazed by the dx...you seem deeply affected, shaken, by it.  Narcissists don't normally have trouble shaking off what others say if it doesn't agree with their reality or self-perception.

Hang in there! And good luck to you.

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Guest Melinda

Thanks, Ella. Maybe I shouldn't be so upset but that NPD thing is completely off the wall. It really lowered my confidence in this woman a LOT and she is also potentially giving me misleading information about other things as well so I dont' know if she even knows what she is doing. She is older too.

I just know that NPD is almost like being a sociopath and that that might influence how they view me and how they decide to treat me and that could be very bad. I had a bad experience with that a long time ago in my early '20s and I don't want a nasty repeat through the mistakes and preconcieved notions of the county mental health system, where I notice they put a lot of bizarre diagnosises on the general pulic. Maybe because they are mostly used to dealing with thieves or criminals. I don't know but it's not for me. I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid. LOL.

I will have to ask her about it but for now, I am staying away from her and not going to group therapy until I can talk to her about it the next time I see her.

I honestly don't really believe that BPD is a diagnosis in and of itself and is entirely a personality disorder or a learned behavior. I think there is definitely a neurological componenet to it and this woman doesn't think so. She thinks there may or may not be.

I am glad the latest news though, has it linking up to be a form of Bipolar disorder as I really think it is. About time. Otherwise, I feel sometimes like BPD is something post-Freudian white males came up with to keep young women in thier place or to better label the proverbial "madwoman in the attic" among us.

Ever see that movie, "Girl Interrupted"? I love that movie. I DID relate to the main character. But honestly I think the BPD stuff is very controversial. Maybe I am biased though because I got treated like shit by many a therpaist and mental health care worker when I was locked up and restricted for those years.

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I hope,Melinda,

you are not in Oregon

horrible health care of any kind

I still have to travel back to CA to see

a real Doc

Not that California is winning prizes

it's just the devil I know

Stasis

I hate lawyers,but a good one can really help with SSDI

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Guest Melinda

I guess I just assumed (one more time) that somoene with a degree in that field and a job can't be all that bad but boy am I wrong.

I also figured out by looking at this tdoc's card, that she is not even a licensed clinical psychologist but rather a "psychology assistant" - someone who "assists" a licensed psychologist in diagnosing and coming up with treatment plans.

She is the only one I have talked to and these are her diagnosises according to her.

I feel sick. I can't bring myself to go to group therapy today but I am sure that will be seen as 'avoidant" , passive aggressive BPD type behavior to tell her what I think on her voice mail and then not show up to group - though I did tell her I felt distrustful of continuing therapy there and may or may not come back. But I will see her next Monday and explain that what I had to talk about in group I didn't feel was appropriate to talk about - and then I will address the misinformation she has given me, her lack of credentials and how I don't care to continue treatment with her.

but like Ella says, I may have to stick with it in order to to just get medicaid so I at least have a chance to maybe pick someone better.

I am pretty much done with psychotherapy. I really just want to go back to AA and ACOA and work a program rather than deal with underqualitifed people slinging harmful labels at me that could hurt me in the long run somewhere down the road.

I am on the east coast and boy does it suck here - the county system.

Thanks for the support. I am going to get a lawyer too if my SSDI doesn't go through the first time.

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I also figured out by looking at this tdoc's card, that she is not even a licensed clinical psychologist but rather a "psychology assistant" - someone who "assists" a licensed psychologist in diagnosing and coming up with treatment plans.
I imagine that would be something of a relief for you, since her "expertise" is not all it's cracked up to be.  Which makes her premature dx more than a little flaky.

I understand why the NPD dx would be so upsetting.  I'd be pissed, too.

I honestly don't really believe that BPD is a diagnosis in and of itself and is entirely a personality disorder or a learned behavior. I think there is definitely a neurological componenet to it and this woman doesn't think so. She thinks there may or may not be.

I read somewhere that they (whoever "they" are) want to change the name to Emotion Regulation Disorder, or something like that.  Which is a far more apt, and descriptive, title, I think.  That people like us should have these intense hair-trigger emotional responses seems biological in origin, or why wouldn't every person raised in an emotionally invalidating environment have the same problem?  Just doesn't add up. 

But honestly I think the BPD stuff is very controversial. Maybe I am biased though because I got treated like shit by many a therpaist and mental health care worker when I was locked up and restricted for those years.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that  ;)  

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Guest Melinda

Well, I went in there and vented to the nurse a bit and she seemed to understand. - got me in to see the pdoc earlier. I still don't know how to deal with this therapist. My next appt. is Monday before I see the pdoc. on Tuesday. Would you go talk to her? I am not up for an argument like I almost had with her last time but time ran out - over this dx stuff.

I want him to look into this though and i want to see the psychologist who is above her and have her  or him sign off on my treatment plan though I already signed it. I think I will talk to my pdoc before I even see her again. I dont' know what to do.

It is upsetting because I need to stay in treatment for disability reasons. I think whatever this things is - BPD - I really agree with those that think it is a form of bipolar or even what you said, that name they want to change it too. It could be a form of epilepsy or a simple problem with the limbic system. Who knows, but I think "borderline personality disorder" should be banned from the terminology of psychology as theory. I think it is a ridiculous term and an even more ridiculous diagnosis and I STILL find it very post-Freudian and white male oppressive to women. I mean the term was first used in 1938! I don't know who came up with it but I bet it was a male and even if it was a woman, it is still archaic, misleading, and mostly sexist.

I don't identifiy with it totally. I have traits of it, I agree, but not the whole enchilada and for someone to add that plus three other PD's including NPD is just preposterous. I am going to get in someone's ear about at this "establishment" if I can't get this straightened out. Because these things stay in your permanent records and they follow you around.

I saw another Phd. licensed psychologist for three years and one day I went in and asked her, "don't you think I am bpd?" and she said, "no. you have traits of it but you are not full blown bpd."

As my mother said, these people are probably not used to dealing with people who are intelligent enough  to notice  credentials, ask about thier diagnosis, and know enough about them to complain or say otherwise. I think she is right and I think there is a reason this woman has not called me back to discuss. Or she thinks I am being manipulative and combative according to my dx.

  ;)

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  • 3 weeks later...

NPD types don't get help, generally.  The know better than everyone else, and everyone else is too pathetic and jealous to even pay attention to.

Only from what I've seen, in my mother and some aquaintences.  Hope no one with NPD is too offended by that.

Julie

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  • 3 weeks later...

I hope,Melinda,

you are not in Oregon

horrible health care of any kind

Uh, I am in Oregon, and I have to disagree. I guess it depends on where you are. If you are in the border cities, perhaps, yes you had a bad experience. But to label "all of Oregon" as being a place for "horrible health care" I think is unfair.

Sorry - threadjack.

Breeze

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