wake me when i'm dead Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 so ... i pretty much like my cocktail (lamotrigine, dextroamphetamine, citaloptam, clonazepam), but lately i've been really getting pretty hypo, bordering on mania. i've been feeling pretty good, but there are those moments when i lose control. in retrospect i think "hey, dumbass!" and feel like crap. only to jam right up to full speed again pretty shortly thereafter. no, i haven't been sleeping much. 3-5 hours max during the week (i work an 8hr day that makes it 9hrs in the end) and ... i don't know, varies between 6-14 per night on the weekend. i know that's not a great thing. i was off dexedrine for about 4 days? and taking 1/3 - 2/3 of my daily dose for about a week before that. (rationing during the holidays, waiting for a refill since i didn't take care of it sooner) and just went back to my normal dosage last tuesday. anyway, i see the pdoc tomorrow. i am thinking about asking him if we can try upping the lamotrigine and nixing or reducing the citalopram? i was taking 40 mgs celexa for a while and then reduced to 20mgs. when i was on 40 mgs, i didn't feel edgy/rammy at all. after i reduced to 20mgs, i was a bit batty on the low end for a while and then i've been sort of jacked up for the last few weeks. i don't know what's going on. since the only thing that has really changed has been the celexa. knowing the frequency that bipolar folks have problems with ads, i find the citalopram dosage change and my changing disposition kind of suspicious. i don't know. i know that most folks have a problem when the increase the dosage of ads, but just the same. i know that people can have wildly different reactions to different meds and dosages. anyway, i'm not sure. i'm so bad at talking to pdoc. better with this one than my last one, but then again, i'm not really great at verbal communication anyway. i was thinking about showing him some of my posts on another forum that really showcase how fucking great i was feeling. mixed with a healthy dose of self loathing. maybe that's just me. maybe this is the real me. *shrug*. i can't decide whether or not to bring up my citalopram suspicion. i know i should, but then again, who the hell knows how i will feel when i get in there tomorrow. damned brain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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