wake me when i'm dead Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 so ... i pretty much like my cocktail (lamotrigine, dextroamphetamine, citaloptam, clonazepam), but lately i've been really getting pretty hypo, bordering on mania. i've been feeling pretty good, but there are those moments when i lose control. in retrospect i think "hey, dumbass!" and feel like crap. only to jam right up to full speed again pretty shortly thereafter. no, i haven't been sleeping much. 3-5 hours max during the week (i work an 8hr day that makes it 9hrs in the end) and ... i don't know, varies between 6-14 per night on the weekend. i know that's not a great thing. i was off dexedrine for about 4 days? and taking 1/3 - 2/3 of my daily dose for about a week before that. (rationing during the holidays, waiting for a refill since i didn't take care of it sooner) and just went back to my normal dosage last tuesday. anyway, i see the pdoc tomorrow. i am thinking about asking him if we can try upping the lamotrigine and nixing or reducing the citalopram? i was taking 40 mgs celexa for a while and then reduced to 20mgs. when i was on 40 mgs, i didn't feel edgy/rammy at all. after i reduced to 20mgs, i was a bit batty on the low end for a while and then i've been sort of jacked up for the last few weeks. i don't know what's going on. since the only thing that has really changed has been the celexa. knowing the frequency that bipolar folks have problems with ads, i find the citalopram dosage change and my changing disposition kind of suspicious. i don't know. i know that most folks have a problem when the increase the dosage of ads, but just the same. i know that people can have wildly different reactions to different meds and dosages. anyway, i'm not sure. i'm so bad at talking to pdoc. better with this one than my last one, but then again, i'm not really great at verbal communication anyway. i was thinking about showing him some of my posts on another forum that really showcase how fucking great i was feeling. mixed with a healthy dose of self loathing. maybe that's just me. maybe this is the real me. *shrug*. i can't decide whether or not to bring up my citalopram suspicion. i know i should, but then again, who the hell knows how i will feel when i get in there tomorrow. damned brain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Go ahead. Bring it up. Why not? If you can show a clear timeline, that might be helpful. An active, involved patient is not a bad thing. A patient who wants to get better and is demonstrating insight into his or her condition? Yeah, that's not a bad thing either. You could write it up tonight and take it with you tomorrow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oohshinyobject Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 you should always have input regarding your treatment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Hi Wakey, You should always have the right to discuss your treatment. In dealing with docs, It generally is best to present facts, ask the doc what he thinks, let the doctor talk, THEN if you have preferences or suggestions make them. This lets the doctor work and present his best recommendation, without being biased or pressured to go along with a secondary choice (in his best medical opinion) to please you. Good luck with your visit tomorrow! a.m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wake me when i'm dead Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 An active, involved patient is not a bad thing. A patient who wants to get better and is demonstrating insight into his or her condition? Yeah, that's not a bad thing either. You could write it up tonight and take it with you tomorrow... good idea. thanks silver. i think i'll jot a few things down at work in the morning while i wait 10 minutes or so for my computer to connect to the server. the joys of having been hired last on my floor and having a more computer intensive job that requires memory hungry software than other employees. i've been told i need to bitch louder if i want a new computer. In dealing with docs, It generally is best to present facts, ask the doc what he thinks, let the doctor talk, THEN if you have preferences or suggestions make them. This lets the doctor work and present his best recommendation, without being biased or pressured to go along with a secondary choice (in his best medical opinion) to please you. and good point, am. once i get something in my head, i sometimes don't go about it in a rational manner. i'm glad you mentioned presenting facts, asking for his input, and then rolling ahead with my thoughts about treatment. i'm not sure i would have thought that through completely before my appoointment tomorrow. hopefully i'll remember all this. thanks folks! wmwid **edited because apparently, i've forgotten how to complete thoughts in writing and agree verb tenses. scary, i tell ya' ** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Mood charts can be very helpful here. "Say, Doc, I've noticed this odd thing..." 10 min to connect to your server? Hell, I'll stop complaining about my work machine now. Lot to be said for the points AM made. Don't corrupt the scene, so to speak. Show the facts as you see them, then let your psychiatrist come to his own interpretation - and then, if it's radically different from what you expected, take it as an opportunity to discuss and learn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zippy Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I alway make suggestions. I just word it not to insult him. For example, "Dr x, do you think it might help _ symptom if we lowered my x and increased my y?" More often than not he agrees. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangergirl Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I'm with everyone here...my new doc seems to rely more on me than the old one did...he asks me what *I* think - but I also went in there and told him that I do a lot of research, talk to people online and will act as an equal in my treatment plan. Passively sitting back and having some person feed you pills just bc they have a piece of paper on the wall doesn't make you any better off - doctors are still fallable...and while they have a better chance of getting it right than we do, it doesn't mean they can read your mind either. You have to actively engage the doc to get the best possible treatment. Urgh, I'm sorta rambling, my brain's fried from dealing with my internet connectivity issues . SO I can totally relate to your tech troubles right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wake me when i'm dead Posted January 8, 2008 Author Share Posted January 8, 2008 so i saw dr. pdoc today. we chatted for a while. he thinks i'm doing really well. i'm going to roll with that. i told him about not sleeping to well and feeling really good lately - he didn't seem overly concerned. signed off on for another 60 days. wOOp! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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