resonance Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 In a group-project meeting yesterday, one of my group members repeatedly denigrated the perspective my research had taken. The project is a book report for Tuesday night, and I was researching the critical reception of the book, and did not find evidence to support the story she wanted to tell. She said several times throughout he meeting that the critical reception wasn't really that important so I didn't need to go into it, and that the professor wouldn't want to hear about some scholarly academic kind of reception. (I had looked extensively for public response as well.) She was aware of my research psychology background, but I think she still expected me to agree with her. (She did a lot of other project-detrimental things, but those are the most relevant to this.) I want to be calm and mature when someone is doing something that maddening - tells me my contribution is mistaken, then unimportant, then repeatedly portrays scholarship as marginal and irrelevant - but I find it very hard right in the moment because I get so physically riled up. I'm too angry to plan a mature response, and I alternate between clamming up, acting passive-aggressive, and trying to get the discussion back on track. The problem seems to be my physiological response more than anything - I'm angry and shaking and I know if I push what I'm capable of I'll lose my temper, yell at her, and then be blamed for the entire situation. How do you deal with this? I looked up some anger management stuff, but it seems to be directed at people who are not in situations that require immediate responses. I think if I weren't having an intense physiological response, I would be able to communicate with her calmly, and set clear enough boundaries that she didn't keep stepping over them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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