reco50 Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Brief history: struggling with serious mental health issues for approx 2 years. DX: Severe depression 5 hospital stays - 12 ECT treatments - 3 Pdocs - counseling 1 year Too many meds to list or remember, Quit them all save for wellbutrin - xanax Ok here goes: one year off work, 85% disability paid for this time, returned to work thinking I was better - I wasnt. Last year missed 61 days off work sick - spread out over the year, 2 weeks here, 3 days there, 4 weeks, etc. Anyway only had accumulated 12 paid sick days, the rest were unpaid. According to my year end pension report I lost around $11,000 in wages. I know now that I should have stayed on disability, I would have been better off financially obviously. To make up for lost wages when I was off and not getting paid I dipped into 2 line of credits and 1 credit card. I had no choice, I was not about to lose my home because of mental illness. As it stands now I am in debt about $50,000 from the financial shortfall of the past 2 years. My wife hates being in debt. She hates it so much that she wants to move our family (2 teenagers) in with her mother and sell our home and pay off these debts, then start again in a year or so with a new home. We previously did live with the mother in law for about 2 years to help save up the original down payment. I HATED IT. There are too many things to go into here but you must all know what living with an in law can be like. "I HATED IT" On top of this there is my sister in law whom I simply dont like who visits her mother every day."I HATED IT" It was one of the happiest days of my life when we moved out and got our own home. What would - could happen to me if we moved and I couldn't take it. Can You say "4th suicide attempt" from overdose. To lose the only thing of great value we have ever owned over my stupid mental health problems might just push me over the edge I fear. The thought of this brings some of the most severe feelings I have ever had - all negative! I just cant give up on this now. I've paid ten years of mortgage payments and damm it I want to stay in my home. We may never get out of debt, but I am willing to keep trying to stay a float as long as possible. What would my sons ( one 17 yrs - one 20 yrs old)think of their father, whom they know is mentally ill, have to give up there rooms to move in with their grandmother again. This cant happen. Dont ask me how I do it, but I am a master at juggling finances around, and I am proud to say I am NOT behind in any bill, lease payment,mortgage payment, or anything for that matter. I faithfully make all minimum monthly payments on my line of credits and Visa card.You wouldn't believe how I swap things around to accomplish this feat.I have a $1000 overdraft coverage that I faithfully use every month -so what the bank charges me $5 bucks for this privalage.This is what I keep telling my wife, lets hold on a little longer,no one is about to foreclose on our house, maybe there will be light at the end of the tunnel. She dosen't want to here this and thinks its just a matter of time before I fall into the abyss again (Hospital) Next I have a dark confession to make: My mother in law is 87 years old and not in good health. She is somewhat well off I guess financially. She almost passed away 3 months ago and the doctors told her that her health is slowly deteroating and she excepts that. When my mother in law does go we will benefit somewhat from her will. Probably enough to get clear of these debts. I know this is not right. To ponder financial gain due to my wifes mother passing is... low,... Hey thats me in a nutshell, but it is a reality. (please feel free to tell me I am a terrible person for thinking this, Heck, I'll save you the effort, I will call myself an ASSHOLE , because I AM!) There, that feels good! I say we hold on as long as possible and see what life brings our way. I will continue to miss work now and then and we will continue to lose wages, my mental health and my work clash many times. As I write this I have been off 4 days without pay so on it goes. I guess I should get back to work, maybe one more day. I dont think it is in me to ever agree to this plan. This morning during a heated exchange I told my wife she would have to drag my dead body to a lawyer, if she ever wanted me to sign off on our home. If I have to......after 30 years of marriage, I will tell her to go herself and I swear I will gain back control of my life. I WILL KEEP THIS HOUSE! Thats how strongly I feel against this. Please help me find a place in my sick hurting head to deal with this ongoing situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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