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SeeMoreGlass

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Hello all,

I'm fairly new here, Depression, PTSD blah blach and I know it's a tad selfish to start a new thread w/o responding to any posts yet, but there's an issue I really need to talk about--and this might be LONG. sorry in advance.

I used to be in this band, fell in love with my pianist (which he found out about, and because I'm so horribly unnattractive this revolted him) and the band split up, all THREE other members are now in successful, succsessful bands (guitarist is playing with xiu xiu!) and I am doing nothing with music at all.

I think about this all the time, and it exacerbates my depression. Guitar player wants to record with me, but I have no money, no job, and no car--and my parents want me to go to grad school immediately after I finish college. Plus, I have trouble trusting this guitar player, as I've been fucked over by him in the past. I love all this fucking music! But the people I know who listen to it and play it just fucking hate me, whichI've been told is because they don't know where to 'place' me, since I'm not like a regular girl 'coz I play drums and am horribly ugly and rather masculine in my tone of voice and my dress, but I'm not a dude. Plus I had this habit of getting really drunk and occassionally planning my own death (although in my defense, I really meant it). I literally CANNOT listen to music anymore. This sucks! These people suck! I feel like a little kid who wants to be in a club but isn't allowed, and I'm twenty-fucking two! Le sigh. I'll slink off to smoke before the disembodied announcer voice on the library intercom tells me that it is closing, and sets of my startle response.

-SeeMoreGlass

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yuck, sucky people

base any future grad school plans based entirely on the new town's music scene. a heathy string of "fuck you"s to the pianist might not hurt either. take a year, from my perspective grad schools prefer an undergrad who has lived a little.

regular girls are over-rated and got some serious issues of their own.

BEEEE yourself. and if people can't deal, screw 'em

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yuck, sucky people

base any future grad school plans based entirely on the new town's music scene. a heathy string of "fuck you"s to the pianist might not hurt either. take a year, from my perspective grad schools prefer an undergrad who has lived a little.

regular girls are over-rated and got some serious issues of their own.

BEEEE yourself. and if people can't deal, screw 'em

Oh, he got his string of "fuck you's". After, of course, a pathetic amount of "gee I'm sorry's"

I'm meeting w/ my shrink in an hour and perhaps I shall talk about this desire to be "normal".

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